Advertising director of Super Screen Movie Production suggest to company director that company should allocate greater share of budget next year to advertising. This is based on certain assumptions. First author says that during past year fewer people attended the movie then this percentage of people giving positive reviews about movies are increased. However he says that due to lack of awareness among people for super screen movies, people are not coming to movie. This contains lack of evidences and he need to answer some question in order to strengthen his argument.
Firstly he says that recent report says that fewer people attended Super Screen movie. Here author need to mention which reports? and how many people attended movie last year so we can compare the people for next year. Further he says that number of positive reviews from viewers are actually increased. This itself is questioning statement about the movie. If number of positive viewers are increased then total viewers should also increased. Author need to mention for which movies positive reviews are observed and for which movies negative. This will be helpful for further movies improvement. Here author can give some evidences related to location where movies are displayed, number if people attended the show and out of which number of people gave positive review. This information will helpful for making conclusion of argument.
Further arguer says that content of movies is not reaching to enough prospective viewers and also he says that quality of his movie in undoubtedly good . Here if author can provide information that movie showed in these which part of cities. This might be possible that in cities where movies are shown people are not interested in watching movie, or they don't want to waste their money in watching movie in theater, they prefer to watch it in home. If movies are shown in urban areas then they might not afford to see it. Also author says that quality of movie is good enough, Here I want to say that quality of movie varies with person to person. generation to generation. So these movies are for which people and author need to focus on part of people in cities so profit can be made. Instead of stating points related to this author hastily says that due to lack of advertising people coming to movies are not increased.
In all I would like to say that author need to connect the relativity between advertising and public going to movie. Because there are many points which author can consider and improve the flow for watching movies. Hence due to lack of evidences and improper connectivity author weakens this argument.
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Sentence: Advertising director of Super Screen Movie Production suggest to company director that company should allocate greater share of budget next year to advertising.
Description: The fragment Production suggest to is rare
Suggestion: Possible agreement error: Replace suggest with verb, past participle
Sentence: This information will helpful for making conclusion of argument.
Description: A modal auxillary is not usually followed by an adjective
Suggestion: Refer to will and helpful
Attribute Value Ideal
Score: 4.0 out of 6
Category: Good Excellent
No. of Grammatical Errors: 2 2
No. of Spelling Errors: 0 2
No. of Sentences: 24 15
No. of Words: 444 350
No. of Characters: 2165 1500
No. of Different Words: 182 200
Fourth Root of Number of Words: 4.59 4.7
Average Word Length: 4.876 4.6
Word Length SD: 2.308 2.4
No. of Words greater than 5 chars: 170 100
No. of Words greater than 6 chars: 98 80
No. of Words greater than 7 chars: 59 40
No. of Words greater than 8 chars: 31 20
Use of Passive Voice (%): 0 0
Avg. Sentence Length: 18.5 21.0
Sentence Length SD: 7.659 7.5
Use of Discourse Markers (%): 0.542 0.12
Sentence-Text Coherence: 0.331 0.35
Sentence-Para Coherence: 0.467 0.50
Sentence-Sentence Coherence: 0.115 0.07
Number of Paragraphs: 4 5