The author asserts that the elimination of western gazelles is due to the larger number of predators in the Eastern Palean Preserve since the only difference between their original habitat and the new one is the number of the same species. However, the assertion is unpersuasive as it is based on questionable assumptions.
First, the author assumes that the Eastern gazelle might mingle with its relatives, the Western gazelles. However, it might not necessarily true. Due to the limited food source etc, the Western gazelle might not welcome the newcomers to their habitat. If so, the Eastern gazelles might not have been able to find food sources against the Western gazelles that they become dead due to hunger. Therefore, the author should consider the possible conflict between the eastern and the western gazelles as a reason to strengthen its argument.
Second, the author presumes that the larger predators were lack of preys in the first place. Nevertheless, it was assumed by the author. It could have been that they had enough preys to feed on before the move of the western gazelles to the Eastern wildlife preserve. As a result, even though the number of predators was larger, they would not intensively hunt for the western gazelles. Thus, the author should provide information related to the ratio of the predators of the gazelles and its preys to substantiate its argument.
Third, the author supposes that slight reduction in the rainfall cannot be the cause of virtual elimination. However, this new climate provided a totally different environment to the western gazelles. For example, it is possible that the western gazelles, unlike the eastern gazelles, cannot withstand the dryness in the air due to differences in hair, nostril structure etc. This slight changes in dryness could have affected much to the western gazelles. Therefore, the author should provide evidence that the slight change in the rainfall did not affect the western gazelles.
To sum up, the author should provide information related to the possible conflict with native gazelles, the ratio of predators and preys in the Eastern Wildlife Preserve, and the influence on the western gazelles due to the diminished rainfall to corroborate its argument.
- The following appeared in a memo from the marketing director of Bargain Brand Cereals."One year ago we introduced our first product, 'Bargain Brand' breakfast cereal. Our very low prices quickly drew many customers away from the top-selling cereal compani 77
- The surest indicator of a great nation is represented not by the achievements of its rulers, artists, or scientists, but by the general welfare of its people. 58
- The best way for a society to prepare its young people for leadership in government, industry, or other fields is by instilling in them a sense of cooperation, not competition. 50
- The following is taken from a memo from the advertising director of the Super Screen Movie Production Company.“According to a recent report from our marketing department, during the past year, fewer people attended Super Screen-produced movies than in a 50
- In surveys Mason City residents rank water sports (swimming, boating and fishing) among their favorite recreational activities. The Mason River flowing through the city is rarely used for these pursuits, however, and the city park department devotes littl 63
Essay evaluation report
argument 1 -- OK
argument 2 -- not OK
argument 3 -- not OK, or same as argument 1
--------------------
Possible arguments:
1. Western gazelles which are close relatives of eastern ones consume the same food source and thus they may compete with each other. //your argument 1
2. One possible cause of the eliminator of these gazelles is disease or illness which they perhaps contracted from their close relatives. The animals which used to live in the Western Palean preserve may not have immunity to the diseases which are from close relatives.
3. All animals may experience decline, but east has big amount, while there are only 100 gazelles for western.
4. The only difference in climate may make different plants and grass not fit for gazelles from west.
5. Maybe 100 lions still like to pray west gazelles.
---------------------
Attribute Value Ideal
Final score: 2.5 out of 6
Category: ? Excellent
No. of Grammatical Errors: 0 2
No. of Spelling Errors: 0 2
No. of Sentences: 17 15
No. of Words: 363 350
No. of Characters: 1839 1500
No. of Different Words: 157 200
Fourth Root of Number of Words: 4.365 4.7
Average Word Length: 5.066 4.6
Word Length SD: 2.561 2.4
No. of Words greater than 5 chars: 158 100
No. of Words greater than 6 chars: 119 80
No. of Words greater than 7 chars: 70 40
No. of Words greater than 8 chars: 32 20
Use of Passive Voice (%): 0 0
Avg. Sentence Length: 21.353 21.0
Sentence Length SD: 10.732 7.5
Use of Discourse Markers (%): 0.824 0.12
Sentence-Text Coherence: 0.411 0.35
Sentence-Para Coherence: 0.598 0.50
Sentence-Sentence Coherence: 0.121 0.07
Number of Paragraphs: 5 5
Transition Words or Phrases used:
first, however, if, nevertheless, second, so, then, therefore, third, thus, for example, as a result, to sum up, in the first place
Attributes: Values AverageValues Percentages(Values/AverageValues)% => Comments
Performance on Part of Speech:
To be verbs : 11.0 19.6327345309 56% => More to be verbs wanted.
Auxiliary verbs: 13.0 12.9520958084 100% => OK
Conjunction : 5.0 11.1786427146 45% => More conjunction wanted.
Relative clauses : 8.0 13.6137724551 59% => More relative clauses wanted.
Pronoun: 25.0 28.8173652695 87% => OK
Preposition: 47.0 55.5748502994 85% => OK
Nominalization: 13.0 16.3942115768 79% => OK
Performance on vocabulary words:
No of characters: 1898.0 2260.96107784 84% => OK
No of words: 363.0 441.139720559 82% => More content wanted.
Chars per words: 5.22865013774 5.12650576532 102% => OK
Fourth root words length: 4.3649236973 4.56307096286 96% => OK
Word Length SD: 2.6566959511 2.78398813304 95% => OK
Unique words: 154.0 204.123752495 75% => More unique words wanted.
Unique words percentage: 0.424242424242 0.468620217663 91% => More unique words wanted or less content wanted.
syllable_count: 576.9 705.55239521 82% => OK
avg_syllables_per_word: 1.6 1.59920159681 100% => OK
A sentence (or a clause, phrase) starts by:
Pronoun: 7.0 4.96107784431 141% => OK
Article: 13.0 8.76447105788 148% => OK
Subordination: 3.0 2.70958083832 111% => OK
Conjunction: 1.0 1.67365269461 60% => OK
Preposition: 1.0 4.22255489022 24% => More preposition wanted as sentence beginning.
Performance on sentences:
How many sentences: 18.0 19.7664670659 91% => OK
Sentence length: 20.0 22.8473053892 88% => OK
Sentence length SD: 57.3471398105 57.8364921388 99% => OK
Chars per sentence: 105.444444444 119.503703932 88% => OK
Words per sentence: 20.1666666667 23.324526521 86% => OK
Discourse Markers: 7.27777777778 5.70786347227 128% => OK
Paragraphs: 5.0 5.15768463074 97% => OK
Language errors: 0.0 5.25449101796 0% => OK
Sentences with positive sentiment : 2.0 8.20758483034 24% => More positive sentences wanted.
Sentences with negative sentiment : 9.0 6.88822355289 131% => OK
Sentences with neutral sentiment: 7.0 4.67664670659 150% => OK
What are sentences with positive/Negative/neutral sentiment?
Coherence and Cohesion:
Essay topic to essay body coherence: 0.194139884393 0.218282227539 89% => OK
Sentence topic coherence: 0.0683452694909 0.0743258471296 92% => OK
Sentence topic coherence SD: 0.0543672404067 0.0701772020484 77% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence: 0.119218992405 0.128457276422 93% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence SD: 0.0208298164911 0.0628817314937 33% => Paragraphs are similar to each other. Some content may get duplicated or it is not exactly right on the topic.
Essay readability:
automated_readability_index: 13.3 14.3799401198 92% => Automated_readability_index is low.
flesch_reading_ease: 51.18 48.3550499002 106% => OK
smog_index: 3.1 7.1628742515 43% => Smog_index is low.
flesch_kincaid_grade: 11.1 12.197005988 91% => OK
coleman_liau_index: 13.05 12.5979740519 104% => OK
dale_chall_readability_score: 7.93 8.32208582834 95% => OK
difficult_words: 76.0 98.500998004 77% => More difficult words wanted.
linsear_write_formula: 8.5 12.3882235529 69% => OK
gunning_fog: 10.0 11.1389221557 90% => OK
text_standard: 10.0 11.9071856287 84% => OK
What are above readability scores?
---------------------
Rates: 50.0 out of 100
Scores by essay e-grader: 3.0 Out of 6
---------------------
Note: the e-grader does NOT examine the meaning of words and ideas. VIP users will receive further evaluations by advanced module of e-grader and human graders.