:theatre is extremely popular in the city of Thespiana: over 10,000 people attended its annual theatre festival last spring, and the highest-rated television program there is theatre highlights’ ,which is aired every weekday. Also a number of well-known theatre artists get home in thespiana. Nevertheless, thespiana has only two good theatre halls. Given the popularity of theatre here and the conclusion of recent nationwide study indicating that atypical theatre fan spends close to $500 per year on theatre entertainment, a new medium sized theatre in Thespiana would be tremendously profitable.
The given argument provides inadequate evidences and some doubtful assumptions. Now in this argument we have to discuss all the pros and cons of this argument. This argument was an application for small business loan by a group of developers in the city thespiana.
Firstly, theatre in city thespiana stages annual theatre festival in last spring, over 10,000 people attended it. Can 10,000 people such a big number as compared with the population of city thespiana. As we consider the population of city be 2lakh and 10,000 people attended annual festival of theatre. Then this assumption is doubtful. If this assumption is not true then how developers convinces for loan?.
Secondly, theatre of city highlighted highest rated TV program on every weekday. The word highest rated is so impressive .But, how many people of the city views the TV programs ?.Even if number of viewers of TV program as compared with the total city population then also program have highest rating because it is having more number of viewers as compared with every other day programs. This assumption destroys the foundation of the assumption.
Thirdly, a number of well-known theatre artists own home in the city thespiana .If housing available and good environment for living in the city thespiana then any one can own home in the city. There is no any connection between popular theatre in city thespiana and a number of well-known theatre artists own home in the city. This is totally baseless assumption. This assumption can destroys all hopes of developers to getting loan.
Fourthly, thespiana has only two good theatre halls. This assumption can demolish all hopes of developers to getting loan. Can two theatre be sufficient number to complete the people their theatrical entertainment. If they(financier) believes that large number of theatre lovers are there in the city but two theatre could be enough to complete the theatrical entertainment of city people. The fact is open from assumption is that city thespiana have an scarcity of theatres.can these builder plan to build new theatres in the city?.
Lastly, a recent nationwide study indicates that a typical theatre fan spends close to $500 per year on theatrical entertainment. Can this study apply to all the regions of country without any restrictions. Can $500 per year enough amount spend by typical theatre fan?.The amount may vary from place to place, It may be higher in some region of country and lower in some region of country due different reasons such as rate of ticket etc. How many medium sized theatres are there in city? Tremendously profitable is impressive word. Can new medium sized theatre more profitable than good theatre halls in city?
Therefore the argument have many baseless assumptions which may increase the possibility of not getting loan by developers for small business.
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Sentence: This assumption can destroys all hopes of developers to getting loan.
Description: A modal auxillary is not usually followed by a noun, plural, common
Suggestion: Refer to can and destroys
flaws:
Number of Paragraphs: 7 5
Three reasons are enough but with more arguments.
Don't put a space before punctuation marks.
Put a space after punctuation marks. E-rater is sensitive.
Attribute Value Ideal
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Category: Good Excellent
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No. of Spelling Errors: 0 2
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Sentence-Sentence Coherence: 0.144 0.07
Number of Paragraphs: 7 5