“The falling revenues that the company is experiencing coincide with delays in manufacturing. These delays, in turn, are due in large part to poor planning in purchasing metals. Consider further that the manager of the department that handles purchasing o
The argument claims that because of delays in manufacturing of products, the revenue of the company is going down. The argument assumes that the delay in manufacturing is due poor planning in purchasing the metals. Further, the argument claims that the poor planning is because of the manager of the company who has little knowledge about the properties of metals, despite having excellent information regarding sociology, psychology and general business. Ultimately, the argument concludes that the purchasing manager should be moved to the sales department and a scientist should be brought to the purchasing department from the research department. The argument manipulates the facts and conveys a distorted view of the situation. Hence, the argument is weak and has several flaws.
Firstly, the argument readily assumes that the poor planning leads to falling revenues. This is a weak assumption as there are many other factors to be considered with respective to decreasing revenues. One among them is that low demand of the product in the market would result in low revenues. Another factors possible would be defective production, high prices etc. The argument could have been much clearer if the author had mentioned factors responsible for poor planning.
Secondly, the argument claims that a scientist from the research department should be brought to the purchasing department and the purchasing manager should be moved to the sales department. This is again a weak and unsupported claim made in the argument as a scientist can only test the product and research about the metal, but cannot plan to handle the purchases of the metals as he has no background information about business menthodology and purchasing techniques. Furthermore, purchasing manager cannot handle the sales department as the work of a purchasing manager is completely different from that of a sales manager. This assumption is more of a wishful thinking rather than a substantive evidence , hence it is weak.
Finally, the argument could have been considerably strengtened if the author mentioned about the relevant facts regarding the factors responsible for poor planning or reasons behind delays in manufacturing. The argument should have also mentioned about th background of the purchasing manager, which would help in evaluating the reasons of falling revenue.
In conclusion, the argument is flawed due to the above-mentioned reasons and is therefore unconvincing. In order to asses the merits of a particular situation, it is essential to have full knowledge of all the contributing factors. In this particular information, without much information, the argument remains unsubstantiated and open to debate.
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- issue essay 80
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Comments
Sentence: Another factors
Sentence: Another factors possible would be defective production, high prices etc. The argument could have been much clearer if the author had mentioned factors responsible for poor planning.
Description: A determiner/pronoun, singular is not usually followed by a noun, plural, common
Suggestion: Refer to Another and factors
Sentence: This is again a weak and unsupported claim made in the argument as a scientist can only test the product and research about the metal, but cannot plan to handle the purchases of the metals as he has no background information about business menthodology and purchasing techniques.
Error: menthodology Suggestion: methodology
Sentence: Finally, the argument could have been considerably strengtened if the author mentioned about the relevant facts regarding the factors responsible for poor planning or reasons behind delays in manufacturing.
Error: strengtened Suggestion: strengthened
Sentence: The argument should have also mentioned about th background of the purchasing manager, which would help in evaluating the reasons of falling revenue.
Error: th Suggestion: No alternate word
Sentence: In conclusion, the argument is flawed due to the above-mentioned reasons and is therefore unconvincing.
Error: above-mentioned Suggestion: abovementioned
Sentence: In order to asses the merits of a particular situation, it is essential to have full knowledge of all the contributing factors.
No spelling errors
Sentence: In this particular information, without much information, the argument remains unsubstantiated and open to debate.
Error: unsubstantiated Suggestion: No alternate word
Attribute Value Ideal
Score: 5.5 out of 6
Category: Very Good Excellent
No. of Grammatical Errors: 1 2
No. of Spelling Errors: 5 2
No. of Sentences: 19 15
No. of Words: 419 350
No. of Characters: 2239 1500
No. of Different Words: 172 200
Fourth Root of Number of Words: 4.524 4.7
Average Word Length: 5.344 4.6
Word Length SD: 2.992 2.4
No. of Words greater than 5 chars: 179 100
No. of Words greater than 6 chars: 149 80
No. of Words greater than 7 chars: 107 40
No. of Words greater than 8 chars: 74 20
Use of Passive Voice (%): 0 0
Avg. Sentence Length: 22.053 21.0
Sentence Length SD: 8.87 7.5
Use of Discourse Markers (%): 0.579 0.12
Sentence-Text Coherence: 0.364 0.35
Sentence-Para Coherence: 0.57 0.50
Sentence-Sentence Coherence: 0.115 0.07
Number of Paragraphs: 5 5
The argument that the company
The argument that the company must bring in a scientist to replace the manager so that purchasing metals could be done faster and delays could be avoided so that company does not face falling revenues is a well reasoned one. The fact that the current manager has an excellent background in general business, psychology, and sociology, but knows little about the properties of metals could be a determinant for delays in the purchasing of metals and hence replacing him with a scientist, who would be used for purchasing the right materials without making any delay, could be the best plausible solution at hand.
As the company manufactures parts for heavy machinery, it should buy materials well before time so that manufacturing can start at the right time. If the company has a manager who handles purchasing of raw materials but lacks knowledge in properties of materials then significant delay is expected to hinder the progress. On the other hand, a scientist in his place would have an in-depth knowledge about the materials used in the manufacturing process and would be able to suggest the best material to be used and would also be able to make that decision much faster than the manager.
Also, the argument assumes that delays in manufacturing is the root cause for falling revenues of the company owing to the fact that both these events concided. There could also be a possibility of low-quality products manufactured by the company. Their products would have lost the reputation in the market and consequently the consumers would have stopped purchasing from the company. Even if the cause is attributed to the low-quality of the products manufactured, a scientist would be in a position to identify the root cause better than the manager who lacks technical knowledge in the properties of materials.
Furthermore, as the scientist would be brought in from the research division of the same company, he would already be having sufficient knowledge about the practices of the company, products they manufacture and the processes they handle. Thus, orientation programme and on-job training could be avoided as the scientist himself would be well versed with manufacturing processes of the company. In addition to that, he would be in a position to recommend better products if he had been exposed to such products during his research period. Thus, not only significant time could be saved by avoiding training but also higher efficiency in purchases could be anticipated.
Finally moving the purchasing manager to the sales department would be the best decision for the company as well as the manager as he would be in a platform where he would be able to better apply the knowledge he gained in general business, psychology and sociology. For all above reasons, I feel the arguement is well reasoned.
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