The following appeared in an article written by Dr. Karp, an anthropologist.
“Twenty years ago, Dr. Field, a noted anthropologist, visited the island of Tertia and concluded from his observations that children in Tertia were reared by an entire village rather than by their own biological parents. However, my recent interviews with children living in the group of islands that includes Tertia show that these children spend much more time talking about their biological parents than about other adults in the village. This research of mine proves that Dr. Field's conclusion about Tertian village culture is invalid and thus that the observation-centered approach to studying cultures is invalid as well. The interview-centered method that my team of graduate students is currently using in Tertia will establish a much more accurate understanding of child-rearing traditions there and in other island cultures.”
Write a response in which you discuss what specific evidence is needed to evaluate the argument and explain how the evidence would weaken or strengthen the argument.
In the argument above, the author talks about children in Tertia and how they are brought up. The assumptions made are that the observation made by Dr. Field was invalid due to how children talked about their parents in an interview conducted by the author in a present time. The argument seems cogent at first glance but there are more evidences when added to the argument will make it reasonable and lucid.
To begin with, more information about how the research was carried in both scenarios make the argument clear. The interview-centered research method was not expantiated. How the interview was carried out, the number of children that were interviewed, the kind of questions they were asked etc. The number of children that were interviewed could have been too small to be a representative of the entire village. The kind of questions asked could have led the children to talk about their parents.
To add to the above, it was stated that the interview was not carried out on only children from Tertia but a group of children that included children from Tertia. If the percentage of children from Tertia is made clear in comparison to the other children, the argument will make more sense. The bottom line is that the conclusion made from the second research was not exclusive to children from Tersia.
Also, the length of time between Dr. Field’s research and the authors research could have led to the great disparity. The fact that a particular group of people behave in a certain way does not give assurance that in twenty years time they would behave in the same way. Delving deeper and asking the old folks about how different children are brought up in Tertia in the present time will offer some form of evidence to back the research.
Additionally, the author states that a team of graduate students will carry out another research to back his claim. The way the research is going to be carried out had to be stated and making sure to go by it in an objective way will make argument stronger.
The argument will be made stronger than it is if evidence of how the interview research was carried out was given and how the new research by the graduate students will be carried out. Another evidence to make it clear will be to provide the sample size of the children that were interviewed and a better bases for judging the first research to be invalid.
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Comments
Essay evaluation report
flaws:
the arguments are not exactly correct, read a sample with correct arguments:
https://www.testbig.com/gmatgre-essays/gre-argumentthe-following-appear…
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Attribute Value Ideal
Final score: 3.5 out of 6
Category: Satisfactory Excellent
No. of Grammatical Errors: 0 2
No. of Spelling Errors: 0 2
No. of Sentences: 17 15
No. of Words: 416 350
No. of Characters: 1921 1500
No. of Different Words: 165 200
Fourth Root of Number of Words: 4.516 4.7
Average Word Length: 4.618 4.6
Word Length SD: 2.481 2.4
No. of Words greater than 5 chars: 125 100
No. of Words greater than 6 chars: 94 80
No. of Words greater than 7 chars: 70 40
No. of Words greater than 8 chars: 29 20
Use of Passive Voice (%): 0 0
Avg. Sentence Length: 24.471 21.0
Sentence Length SD: 8.211 7.5
Use of Discourse Markers (%): 0.647 0.12
Sentence-Text Coherence: 0.369 0.35
Sentence-Para Coherence: 0.639 0.50
Sentence-Sentence Coherence: 0.125 0.07
Number of Paragraphs: 6 5
Grammar and spelling errors:
Line 5, column 209, Rule ID: IN_A_X_MANNER[1]
Message: Consider replacing "in an objective way" with adverb for "objective"; eg, "in a hasty manner" with "hastily".
...o be stated and making sure to go by it in an objective way will make argument stronger. The argu...
^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^
Transition Words or Phrases used:
also, but, first, if, second, so, kind of, to begin with, in the same way
Attributes: Values AverageValues Percentages(Values/AverageValues)% => Comments
Performance on Part of Speech:
To be verbs : 29.0 19.6327345309 148% => OK
Auxiliary verbs: 12.0 12.9520958084 93% => OK
Conjunction : 9.0 11.1786427146 81% => OK
Relative clauses : 11.0 13.6137724551 81% => OK
Pronoun: 21.0 28.8173652695 73% => OK
Preposition: 71.0 55.5748502994 128% => OK
Nominalization: 13.0 16.3942115768 79% => OK
Performance on vocabulary words:
No of characters: 1967.0 2260.96107784 87% => OK
No of words: 416.0 441.139720559 94% => More content wanted.
Chars per words: 4.72836538462 5.12650576532 92% => OK
Fourth root words length: 4.51620172871 4.56307096286 99% => OK
Word Length SD: 2.55092253116 2.78398813304 92% => OK
Unique words: 172.0 204.123752495 84% => More unique words wanted.
Unique words percentage: 0.413461538462 0.468620217663 88% => More unique words wanted or less content wanted.
syllable_count: 602.1 705.55239521 85% => OK
avg_syllables_per_word: 1.4 1.59920159681 88% => OK
A sentence (or a clause, phrase) starts by:
Pronoun: 1.0 4.96107784431 20% => OK
Article: 15.0 8.76447105788 171% => OK
Subordination: 1.0 2.70958083832 37% => OK
Conjunction: 0.0 1.67365269461 0% => OK
Preposition: 3.0 4.22255489022 71% => OK
Performance on sentences:
How many sentences: 18.0 19.7664670659 91% => OK
Sentence length: 23.0 22.8473053892 101% => OK
Sentence length SD: 33.4153158497 57.8364921388 58% => The essay contains lots of sentences with the similar length. More sentence varieties wanted.
Chars per sentence: 109.277777778 119.503703932 91% => OK
Words per sentence: 23.1111111111 23.324526521 99% => OK
Discourse Markers: 4.05555555556 5.70786347227 71% => OK
Paragraphs: 6.0 5.15768463074 116% => OK
Language errors: 1.0 5.25449101796 19% => OK
Sentences with positive sentiment : 9.0 8.20758483034 110% => OK
Sentences with negative sentiment : 3.0 6.88822355289 44% => More negative sentences wanted.
Sentences with neutral sentiment: 6.0 4.67664670659 128% => OK
What are sentences with positive/Negative/neutral sentiment?
Coherence and Cohesion:
Essay topic to essay body coherence: 0.143270609753 0.218282227539 66% => OK
Sentence topic coherence: 0.0548433302083 0.0743258471296 74% => OK
Sentence topic coherence SD: 0.0465358819151 0.0701772020484 66% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence: 0.0827037859187 0.128457276422 64% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence SD: 0.0480136970034 0.0628817314937 76% => OK
Essay readability:
automated_readability_index: 12.4 14.3799401198 86% => Automated_readability_index is low.
flesch_reading_ease: 65.05 48.3550499002 135% => OK
smog_index: 3.1 7.1628742515 43% => Smog_index is low.
flesch_kincaid_grade: 9.9 12.197005988 81% => OK
coleman_liau_index: 10.45 12.5979740519 83% => OK
dale_chall_readability_score: 7.17 8.32208582834 86% => OK
difficult_words: 63.0 98.500998004 64% => More difficult words wanted.
linsear_write_formula: 8.5 12.3882235529 69% => OK
gunning_fog: 11.2 11.1389221557 101% => OK
text_standard: 10.0 11.9071856287 84% => OK
What are above readability scores?
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Rates: 50.0 out of 100
Scores by essay e-grader: 3.0 Out of 6
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Note: the e-grader does NOT examine the meaning of words and ideas. VIP users will receive further evaluations by advanced module of e-grader and human graders.