In some countries young people are encouraged to work or travel for a year between finishing high school and starting university studies.
Discuss the advantages and disadvantages for young people who decide to do this.
In the world, there are many behaviors of teenagers after they graduate from senior high school. In Indonesia, some of the former students who continue directly to university and other younger enjoy becoming workers or travelers before they study in the highest education grade. Both ways, which they do after finishing their 12-year programme of a government, have positive and negative effects to themselves.
People, who choose taking a job or just traveling around 12 months before they continue studying in campus, could get more experience about reality of life. Besides, they would get money from their efforts to survive in life. Thus, they are stronger than a person who learns again in a university after passing high school. However, their position in the work could not reach the good level. For instance, an employer puts a fresh graduation from senior high school as cleaning service/office boy or security. As a result of having this condition, they receive less payment rather than people have finished from a collage.
On the other hand, people who graduated from senior high school will directly continue to university and will feel fresh receiving knowledge from which their lecturer who gives them, because their spirit to study was still kept. Again, students would meet their relationship closer. Even though, some of them feel bored to study in the third term or the second year. Hence, they become lazy to continue or postpone taking their education in order to rest their brain.
In summary, students, who continue to study in a university or become workers at least 12 months after finishing study, get plus and minus value to themselves. Where is possible, youngers ask to their parents or people who have experience, before they choose an act to their future.
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Comments
Thanks for your suggest. I
Thanks for your suggest.
I have edited my essay, please remark.
Sentence: In the world, there are many behaviors of teenagers after their graduated from senior high school.
Description: The fragment their graduated from is rare
Suggestion: Possible agreement error: Replace graduated with verb, base: uninflected present, imperative or infinitive
Sentence: In Indonesia, some of ex-students choosing continue directly to university and other younger enjoy become worker of traveler first before they studying in highest education grade.
Description: A verb, present participle or gerund is not usually followed by a verb, base: uninflected present, imperative or infinitive
Suggestion: Refer to choosing and continue
Sentence: Both of the ways, which they do after finished their program of government to study at least 12 years, have positive and negative effect themselves.
Description: 'that' int not used properly
Description: A noun, singular, common is not usually followed by a pronoun, plural, reflexive
Suggestion: Refer to effect and themselves
Sentence: Thus, they stronger than a person who learns again in university after pass high school.
Description: A pronoun, personal, nominative, not 3rd person singular is not usually followed by an adjective, comparative
Suggestion: Refer to they and stronger
Description: A noun, singular, common is not usually followed by an adjective
Suggestion: Refer to pass and high
Sentence: In the other hand, people who graduated from senior high school directly continuing to university would feel fresh receiving knowledge that lecturer given to them because spirit studying before still kept.
Suggestion: On the other hand,
Sentence: Hence, they become lazy to continue they education or take postpone to rest their brain.
Description: A pronoun, personal, nominative, not 3rd person singular is not usually followed by a noun, singular, common
Suggestion: Refer to they and education
Sentence: It causes they receive payment just a little than people who finished from a collage.
Error: collage Suggestion: No alternate word
flaws:
No. of Grammatical Errors: 7 2
Read a good grammar book.
Attribute Value Ideal
Score: 5.0 out of 9
Category: Satisfactory Excellent
No. of Grammatical Errors: 7 2
No. of Spelling Errors: 1 2
No. of Sentences: 15 15
No. of Words: 287 350
No. of Characters: 1431 1500
No. of Different Words: 157 200
Fourth Root of Number of Words: 4.116 4.7
Average Word Length: 4.986 4.6
Word Length SD: 2.301 2.4
No. of Words greater than 5 chars: 107 100
No. of Words greater than 6 chars: 67 80
No. of Words greater than 7 chars: 48 40
No. of Words greater than 8 chars: 24 20
Use of Passive Voice (%): 0 0
Avg. Sentence Length: 19.133 21.0
Sentence Length SD: 6.632 7.5
Use of Discourse Markers (%): 0.8 0.12
Sentence-Text Coherence: 0.329 0.35
Sentence-Para Coherence: 0.525 0.50
Sentence-Sentence Coherence: 0.066 0.07
Number of Paragraphs: 4 5