TPO-20 - Independent Writing Task Do you agree or disagree with the following statement? Successful people try new things and take risks rather than only doing what they know how to do well. Use specific reasons and examples to support your answer.

Submitted by Vitek on Thu, 04/05/2018 - 07:48

Success is a very important part of our lives. All people want to succeed in their life, because they want to acquire large house and luxury car and provide for their children good education. People apply different strategies to achieve their goals. Some people believe that for succeed in life human need to do only what she knows how to do; others disagree. Even though some people might find constant work more important aspect because it is more stable and less risk-taking. In my view, people who try new things are more likely to succeed in life for two important reasons.

The main reason is that you will be able to find more opportunities. Everyone is able to join to a different projects and get helpful experience and benefits form them. For example, last year I was interested in astronomy, I went to the university in my hometown to find research that I could make on my own or with professor's assistance. I had the project about high energy cosmic rays this is an elementary charged particle such as electron or proton, that has enormous energy, more than energy achieved at The Large Hadron Collider. My work involved translating international researches, analyzing them and modification existing theories. Besides, we created the simulation of particle's reactions with atmosphere of the Earth. After I finish my work, my supervisor and I published our work. Some scientists get interested in my studying and invited me to study and work the same subject in Switzerland. After all, my work was quite progressive and new. As you can see, if you try new things you are more likely to succeed.

Another important reason you can start your own business. Entrepreneurial people are usually risk-takers because they do not afraid to lose all, and some of them succeed. For instance, my friend, Vladimir, opened small Chinese restaurant. He spends a lot of money decorating and advertising restaurant. He wasted almost all his money he even wanted to stop his business, however, it started grow up. Now he has a many restaurants in my country. His dream is to proliferate his food service to neighbor countries such as Poland or Belarus in order to increase the profit. This example taught me that people who risk might succeed in life very well.

In sun people who are risk-takers and do not afraid to lose all their wealth are more likely to succeed. Not only because they could grab different opportunities but also they could start their own business that one day might take up.

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Average: 7 (1 vote)
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Grammar and spelling errors:
Line 3, column 126, Rule ID: WHITESPACE_RULE
Message: Possible typo: you repeated a whitespace
Suggestion:
... to join to a different projects and get helpful experience and benefits form the...
^^
Line 7, column 15, Rule ID: WHO_NOUN[1]
Message: A noun should not follow "who". Try changing to a verb or maybe to 'who is a are'.
Suggestion: who is a are
...ed in life very well. In sun people who are risk-takers and do not afraid to lose a...
^^^^^^^

Transition Words or Phrases used:
also, besides, but, however, if, so, well, after all, for example, for instance, such as, in my view

Attributes: Values AverageValues Percentages(Values/AverageValues)% => Comments

Performance on Part of Speech:
To be verbs : 14.0 15.1003584229 93% => OK
Auxiliary verbs: 10.0 9.8082437276 102% => OK
Conjunction : 17.0 13.8261648746 123% => OK
Relative clauses : 9.0 11.0286738351 82% => OK
Pronoun: 58.0 43.0788530466 135% => Less pronouns wanted
Preposition: 46.0 52.1666666667 88% => OK
Nominalization: 6.0 8.0752688172 74% => OK

Performance on vocabulary words:
No of characters: 2074.0 1977.66487455 105% => OK
No of words: 426.0 407.700716846 104% => OK
Chars per words: 4.86854460094 4.8611393121 100% => OK
Fourth root words length: 4.54310108192 4.48103885553 101% => OK
Word Length SD: 2.70764243549 2.67179642975 101% => OK
Unique words: 233.0 212.727598566 110% => OK
Unique words percentage: 0.546948356808 0.524837075471 104% => OK
syllable_count: 651.6 618.680645161 105% => OK
avg_syllables_per_word: 1.5 1.51630824373 99% => OK

A sentence (or a clause, phrase) starts by:
Pronoun: 13.0 9.59856630824 135% => OK
Article: 1.0 3.08781362007 32% => OK
Subordination: 6.0 3.51792114695 171% => OK
Conjunction: 1.0 1.86738351254 54% => OK
Preposition: 4.0 4.94265232975 81% => OK

Performance on sentences:
How many sentences: 26.0 20.6003584229 126% => OK
Sentence length: 16.0 20.1344086022 79% => The Avg. Sentence Length is relatively short.
Sentence length SD: 37.3615986443 48.9658058833 76% => OK
Chars per sentence: 79.7692307692 100.406767564 79% => OK
Words per sentence: 16.3846153846 20.6045352989 80% => OK
Discourse Markers: 3.84615384615 5.45110844103 71% => OK
Paragraphs: 4.0 4.53405017921 88% => OK
Language errors: 2.0 5.5376344086 36% => OK
Sentences with positive sentiment : 19.0 11.8709677419 160% => OK
Sentences with negative sentiment : 1.0 3.85842293907 26% => More negative sentences wanted.
Sentences with neutral sentiment: 6.0 4.88709677419 123% => OK
What are sentences with positive/Negative/neutral sentiment?

Coherence and Cohesion:
Essay topic to essay body coherence: 0.183677190613 0.236089414692 78% => OK
Sentence topic coherence: 0.0492638454777 0.076458572812 64% => OK
Sentence topic coherence SD: 0.060170577945 0.0737576698707 82% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence: 0.116663519616 0.150856017488 77% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence SD: 0.0368289343805 0.0645574589148 57% => OK

Essay readability:
automated_readability_index: 9.7 11.7677419355 82% => Automated_readability_index is low.
flesch_reading_ease: 63.7 58.1214874552 110% => OK
smog_index: 3.1 6.10430107527 51% => Smog_index is low.
flesch_kincaid_grade: 8.4 10.1575268817 83% => OK
coleman_liau_index: 10.67 10.9000537634 98% => OK
dale_chall_readability_score: 7.91 8.01818996416 99% => OK
difficult_words: 94.0 86.8835125448 108% => OK
linsear_write_formula: 7.5 10.002688172 75% => OK
gunning_fog: 8.4 10.0537634409 84% => OK
text_standard: 8.0 10.247311828 78% => OK
What are above readability scores?

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Better to have 5 paragraphs with 3 arguments. And try always support/against one side but compare two sides, like this:

para 1: introduction
para 2: reason 1. address both of the views presented for reason 1
para 3: reason 2. address both of the views presented for reason 2
para 4: reason 3. address both of the views presented for reason 3
para 5: conclusion.

So how to find out those reasons. There is a formula:

reasons == advantages or

reasons == disadvantages

for example, we can always apply 'save time', 'save/make money', 'find a job', 'make friends', 'get more information' as reasons to all essay/speaking topics.

or we can apply 'waste time', 'waste money', 'no job', 'make bad friends', 'get bad information' as reasons to all essay/speaking topics.


Rates: 70.0 out of 100
Scores by essay e-grader: 21.0 Out of 30
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Note: the e-grader does NOT examine the meaning of words and ideas. VIP users will receive further evaluations by advanced module of e-grader and human graders.