The following appeared in an editorial in a business magazine.
"Although the sales of Whirlwind video games have declined over the past two years, a recent survey of video-game players suggests that this sales trend is about to be reversed. The survey asked video-game players what features they thought were most important in a video game. According to the survey, players prefer games that provide lifelike graphics, which require the most up-to-date computers. Whirlwind has just introduced several such games with an extensive advertising campaign directed at people ten to twenty-five years old, the age-group most likely to play video games. It follows, then, that the sales of Whirlwind video games are likely to increase dramatically in the next few months."
Write a response in which you examine the stated and/or unstated assumptions of the argument. Be sure to explain how the argument depends on these assumptions and what the implications are for the argument if the assumptions prove unwarranted.
The business magazine has anticipated that the Whirlwind video game's sale will incline strikingly in next few months since a survey has shown people shows eagerness to a type of games recently introduced by Whirlwind and advertisement used by this company attracts a big portion of video game player. This prediction and its rearing surmises cannot be accepted as they stand since the author har relied on the series of hypotheses all of which are doubtful and questionable.
The first assumed and shaky surmise is based on the reference to a study, the writer has believed that the Whirlwind video games will get popular among the people. Actually, there is no cogent background about this study; whether the study had covered the popular and fair study cases or not is the fact which makes this assumption to be skeptical. Research or study can be a logic base of reference if it entire represents the entire target population based on the various parameters such as the gender, age range, or cognition stands. For example, if during this study merely the females are interviewed, the outcome of this study cannot be overgeneralized over the whole male and female. Meanwhile, the women wish to play lifelike games, the men are eager for playing the action ones. Therefore, referring to a faint survey about which there is no background clue and information, is a deadened task.
Another flawed assumption is the advertisement which is assumed is directly has targeted the right age range. Nevertheless, there is no evidence that which aging group the Whirlwind video game is covering. There is the possibility that the game contains some violence or sexual content which is allowed for the over the twenties. In this case, the hypothesis that the extensive games targeted at the age of ten and twenty-five would attract more costumer is not sound. Indeed, these ads merely address one-third of its aimed consumers. Besides, there is rearing information about the willing to play video games age-range. The prompt has mentioned that ten and twenty-five are considered as the proper marketing target; however, there is no cogent data about this assertation. Maybe this range is wider than the assumed one and covers between the seven to thirty. In this scenario, if the ads merely are focused on the narrow range, it would miss the bigger potential consumers.
Finally, even both aforesaid surmises are verified; the belief that the Whirlwind would get an increased sale in the few months is shaky too. This assumption is plausible in case that all factors are assumed to be satiable during this period. However, in the real situation, there is on such a consistent situation. For instance, there is a feasibility that rival companies have introduced more appealing video games which attract more consumers. Or the youth's idea has altered about the attractive video games, and presented option by the Whirlwind is no longer that much interesting. In both cases, the Whirlwind would miss its consumers.
To wrap it up, all the aforementioned arguments explicitly depict that this prompt and its rearing surmises are shaky and faint, and it requires further explanation to be approved as a valid case. The writer has to provide the concrete data about the research study and its case studies, the accuracy of an advertisement and it matches with the target market; also, all factors are sustainable during the next few months during which the author assumed Whirlwind will achieve financial success.
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Comments
Essay evaluation report
Attribute Value Ideal
Final score: 2.5 out of 6
Category: Satisfactory Excellent
No. of Grammatical Errors: 0 2
No. of Spelling Errors: 0 2
No. of Sentences: 25 15
No. of Words: 577 350
No. of Characters: 2863 1500
No. of Different Words: 263 200
Fourth Root of Number of Words: 4.901 4.7
Average Word Length: 4.962 4.6
Word Length SD: 2.617 2.4
No. of Words greater than 5 chars: 200 100
No. of Words greater than 6 chars: 149 80
No. of Words greater than 7 chars: 105 40
No. of Words greater than 8 chars: 73 20
Use of Passive Voice (%): 0 0
Avg. Sentence Length: 23.08 21.0
Sentence Length SD: 9.988 7.5
Use of Discourse Markers (%): 0.52 0.12
Sentence-Text Coherence: 0.283 0.35
Sentence-Para Coherence: 0.47 0.50
Sentence-Sentence Coherence: 0.045 0.07
Number of Paragraphs: 5 5
Grammar and spelling errors:
Line 5, column 442, Rule ID: MOST_COMPARATIVE[2]
Message: Use only 'costumer' (without 'more') when you use the comparative.
Suggestion: costumer
...ge of ten and twenty-five would attract more costumer is not sound. Indeed, these ads merely ...
^^^^^^^^^^^^^
Line 7, column 455, Rule ID: POSSESIVE_APOSTROPHE[1]
Message: Possible typo: apostrophe is missing. Did you mean 'youths'' or 'youth's'?
Suggestion: youths'; youth's
...es which attract more consumers. Or the youths idea has altered about the attractive v...
^^^^^^
Transition Words or Phrases used:
actually, also, besides, finally, first, however, if, may, nevertheless, so, therefore, third, while, as to, for example, for instance, such as
Attributes: Values AverageValues Percentages(Values/AverageValues)% => Comments
Performance on Part of Speech:
To be verbs : 36.0 19.6327345309 183% => OK
Auxiliary verbs: 10.0 12.9520958084 77% => OK
Conjunction : 21.0 11.1786427146 188% => OK
Relative clauses : 19.0 13.6137724551 140% => OK
Pronoun: 36.0 28.8173652695 125% => Less pronouns wanted
Preposition: 54.0 55.5748502994 97% => OK
Nominalization: 21.0 16.3942115768 128% => OK
Performance on vocabulary words:
No of characters: 2929.0 2260.96107784 130% => OK
No of words: 577.0 441.139720559 131% => OK
Chars per words: 5.07625649913 5.12650576532 99% => OK
Fourth root words length: 4.90110439584 4.56307096286 107% => OK
Word Length SD: 2.70573730995 2.78398813304 97% => OK
Unique words: 266.0 204.123752495 130% => OK
Unique words percentage: 0.461005199307 0.468620217663 98% => OK
syllable_count: 934.2 705.55239521 132% => OK
avg_syllables_per_word: 1.6 1.59920159681 100% => OK
A sentence (or a clause, phrase) starts by:
Pronoun: 4.0 4.96107784431 81% => OK
Article: 12.0 8.76447105788 137% => OK
Subordination: 2.0 2.70958083832 74% => OK
Conjunction: 4.0 1.67365269461 239% => Less conjunction wanted as sentence beginning.
Preposition: 5.0 4.22255489022 118% => OK
Performance on sentences:
How many sentences: 25.0 19.7664670659 126% => OK
Sentence length: 23.0 22.8473053892 101% => OK
Sentence length SD: 60.3312721563 57.8364921388 104% => OK
Chars per sentence: 117.16 119.503703932 98% => OK
Words per sentence: 23.08 23.324526521 99% => OK
Discourse Markers: 5.72 5.70786347227 100% => OK
Paragraphs: 5.0 5.15768463074 97% => OK
Language errors: 2.0 5.25449101796 38% => OK
Sentences with positive sentiment : 11.0 8.20758483034 134% => OK
Sentences with negative sentiment : 7.0 6.88822355289 102% => OK
Sentences with neutral sentiment: 7.0 4.67664670659 150% => OK
What are sentences with positive/Negative/neutral sentiment?
Coherence and Cohesion:
Essay topic to essay body coherence: 0.253094251799 0.218282227539 116% => OK
Sentence topic coherence: 0.0686375091041 0.0743258471296 92% => OK
Sentence topic coherence SD: 0.0681240806613 0.0701772020484 97% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence: 0.154798525304 0.128457276422 121% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence SD: 0.0753648406145 0.0628817314937 120% => OK
Essay readability:
automated_readability_index: 14.0 14.3799401198 97% => OK
flesch_reading_ease: 48.13 48.3550499002 100% => OK
smog_index: 8.8 7.1628742515 123% => OK
flesch_kincaid_grade: 12.3 12.197005988 101% => OK
coleman_liau_index: 12.48 12.5979740519 99% => OK
dale_chall_readability_score: 8.94 8.32208582834 107% => OK
difficult_words: 152.0 98.500998004 154% => OK
linsear_write_formula: 18.5 12.3882235529 149% => OK
gunning_fog: 11.2 11.1389221557 101% => OK
text_standard: 9.0 11.9071856287 76% => OK
What are above readability scores?
---------------------
Rates: 58.33 out of 100
Scores by essay e-grader: 3.5 Out of 6
---------------------
Note: the e-grader does NOT examine the meaning of words and ideas. VIP users will receive further evaluations by advanced module of e-grader and human graders.