The following appeared as a letter to the editor of a national newspaper.
"Your recent article on corporate downsizing* in Elthyria maintains that the majority of competent workers who have lost jobs as a result of downsizing face serious economic hardship, often for years, before finding other suitable employment. But this claim is undermined by a recent report on the Elthyrian economy, which found that since 1999 far more jobs have been created than have been eliminated, bringing the unemployment rate in Elthyria to its lowest level in decades. Moreover, two-thirds of these newly created jobs have been in industries that tend to pay above-average wages, and the vast majority of these jobs are full-time."
*Downsizing is the process whereby corporations deliberately make themselves smaller, reducing the number of their employees.
Write a response in which you discuss what specific evidence is needed to evaluate the argument and explain how the evidence would weaken or strengthen the argument.
The author of the letter to the editor of a national newspaper asserts that situation when people who were fired as a result of corporate downsizing struggle to find other suitable employment is tackled due to the fact that in Elthyrian has created more job than have been reduced. The author of the argument gives us some evidences which should be studied closer in order to evaluate the soundness of the argument.
First of all, we were told that the Elthyrian economy is thriving and more jobs has created then eliminated. Moreover, these positions are opened in industries that tend to pay above average. Although the author surmises that consequently, the hardship of victims of corporate downsizing should be automatically solved, in reality the problems of the fired workers may remain unsolved due to the possibility that crated jobs may not match with professions of fired people. For instance, the country may open several plants and mills which produce cars and other machinery. The opended positions, in this case, is connected with engineering. Do the employees who were fired have the needed qualification. They may be lawyers, bookkeepers, managers, office workers who have no qualification to occupy new positions in manufacturing. Therefore, we cannot take for granted that creation of new jobs will unevitably lead to the solving of the problem.
Furthermore, even if the new jobs match with education and qualification of workers who were sacked, the possibility exists that they were not accept new positions. We were given information that new jobs are paid above average but how much these workers want to make? What positions did these emplyees have in the corporations? In case, the salary was higher and position was better, the workers may keep serching for new job which will suit their expectations. For instance, if a vice president was fired, he or she will not accept a new positon as a mere manager. One perhaps tries to find work where he will have similar position, rights, duties and conditons of labor as he used to have.
In conclusion, despite the information given by the author to support his or her argument, it is not enough to create a sound statement. The creation of new jobs and low level of unemployment do not guarantee that hardship of people who underwent downsizing is solved.
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Full essay evaluations
more jobs has created then eliminated.
more jobs have created then eliminated.
Sentence: The opended positions, in this case, is connected with engineering.
Error: opended Suggestion: No alternate word
Sentence: Therefore, we cannot take for granted that creation of new jobs will unevitably lead to the solving of the problem.
Error: unevitably Suggestion: No alternate word
Sentence: What positions did these emplyees have in the corporations?
Error: emplyees Suggestion: employees
Sentence: In case, the salary was higher and position was better, the workers may keep serching for new job which will suit their expectations.
Error: serching Suggestion: searching
Sentence: For instance, if a vice president was fired, he or she will not accept a new positon as a mere manager.
Error: positon Suggestion: position
Sentence: One perhaps tries to find work where he will have similar position, rights, duties and conditons of labor as he used to have.
Error: conditons Suggestion: conditions
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argument 1 -- OK
argument 2 -- it is not related to topic.
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Attribute Value Ideal
Score: 3.0 out of 6
Category: Satisfactory Excellent
No. of Grammatical Errors: 1 2
No. of Spelling Errors: 6 2
No. of Sentences: 18 15
No. of Words: 388 350
No. of Characters: 1898 1500
No. of Different Words: 200 200
Fourth Root of Number of Words: 4.438 4.7
Average Word Length: 4.892 4.6
Word Length SD: 2.699 2.4
No. of Words greater than 5 chars: 136 100
No. of Words greater than 6 chars: 102 80
No. of Words greater than 7 chars: 72 40
No. of Words greater than 8 chars: 48 20
Use of Passive Voice (%): 0 0
Avg. Sentence Length: 21.556 21.0
Sentence Length SD: 10.007 7.5
Use of Discourse Markers (%): 0.667 0.12
Sentence-Text Coherence: 0.306 0.35
Sentence-Para Coherence: 0.48 0.50
Sentence-Sentence Coherence: 0.129 0.07
Number of Paragraphs: 4 5
The introduction is not developed properly.
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