The following appeared in a memo from the chief executive of a video game company.
"We have recently been offered the opportunity to buy the rights to produce a video game based on the soon-to-be-published children's book 'Squirrel Power,' by Peter Wood. While the cost of the rights is substantial and will place economic constraints on our company in the short-term, there are two reasons that the purchase of these rights will undoubtedly be a wise investment. First, Wood's last three books have been best sellers and the movie based on his first book was highly profitable. Second, the popular characters and story line in 'Squirrel Power' will save us time in developing our video game, thereby reducing our costs."
The author of this argument claims that investing on a buying the right to produce a video game based on the soon-to-be-published children's book 'Squirrel Power' written by Peter Wood will be a rational decision in the long run. To support this claim the author cites that last three books published by this writer have been popular and the movie produced based on the first book was popular too. The excerpt's author also notes that specified characters and story line can save money in producing this video game. The argument rests on a series of unconvincing assumptions, and is therefore unpersuasive as it stands.
The author bases his claim partly on the fact that sale rates of last three books published by Peter Wood and movies produced based on the his first book can be suitable signs of high rates of sale in video game which will be produced by this company. However, the author overlooks the reality the popularity of his previous books does not necessarily mean fame and popularity of all his books. In other work, it may encounter low sale whether because of decline in its writing or because of lack of finding more adventures in the book. Besides, the movie produced based on the first book has nothing to do with popularity of this game since it is possible that presence of famous characters in the movie was the main reason for popularity of the movie not the adventure of the book. Lacking enough convincing evidence to repel such possibilities, the author cannot defend the importance of investing on buying this right for producing the video game.
In further support of his claim the chief executive states that presence of characters and story line are what can save money and time in developing this game. Nevertheless, the executive provides no evidence that these characters will be popular among children like other characters in the previous books. Besides, it is possible that other companies produce some games attracting children. Or perhaps, who can guarantee that the taste and interest of children will not be undermined till producing this video game. Without ruling out such explanations, it is cumbersome to vote on the authenticity and truth of the claim mentioned by the author.
Besides, the author wrongly states that this book will be popular. However, since this book has not been published, making decision based on history does not seem to be rational. how can one judge a book while he/she has some vague information about the book?
Finally, the author states that this right is expensive and it puts some limitations on the company, but the sale of this game can compensate this constrains . However, executive has not provided any more information about market, and content of this book to convince someone that this game will achieve high sale rates since it is possible the content does not fit children's requirements. Without ruling out such alternative explanations, executive cannot substantiate his claim.
In conclusion, author's evidence lends little credible support to his claim. To persuade me, the author must provide some evidence that adventure of the book was the main reason for popularity of the movies not movie stars. The author would also need to provide characters will be popular among children and till launching this game in the market, other companies cannot affect the position of this game. We would also need more information that the game will be able to satisfy children and will find its position in the market.
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argument 1 -- OK
argument 2 -- not OK. need to argue against: 'thereby reducing our costs'. Maybe it needs more investment on hardware for example.
argument 3 -- can be put on argument 1
argument 4 -- need to compare the cost of to buy the rights and the sales of the games; if the cost is more, then it will not be beneficial.
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Attribute Value Ideal
Score: 3.5 out of 6
Category: Satisfactory Excellent
No. of Grammatical Errors: 0 2
No. of Spelling Errors: 0 2
No. of Sentences: 23 15
No. of Words: 587 350
No. of Characters: 2858 1500
No. of Different Words: 221 200
Fourth Root of Number of Words: 4.922 4.7
Average Word Length: 4.869 4.6
Word Length SD: 2.523 2.4
No. of Words greater than 5 chars: 184 100
No. of Words greater than 6 chars: 145 80
No. of Words greater than 7 chars: 103 40
No. of Words greater than 8 chars: 66 20
Use of Passive Voice (%): 0 0
Avg. Sentence Length: 25.522 21.0
Sentence Length SD: 10.172 7.5
Use of Discourse Markers (%): 0.696 0.12
Sentence-Text Coherence: 0.332 0.35
Sentence-Para Coherence: 0.542 0.50
Sentence-Sentence Coherence: 0.103 0.07
Number of Paragraphs: 6 5