The following appeared in a memo from the marketing director of Top Dog Pet stores.
“Five years ago Fish Emporium started advertising in the magazine Exotic Pets Monthly. Their stores saw sales increased by 15 percent after their ads began appearing in the magazine. The three Fish Emporium stores in Gulf City saw an even greater Increase that. Because Top Dog Pet Stores is based in Gulf City, it seems clear that we should start placing our own ads in Exotic Pets monthly. If we do so, we will be sure to reverse the recent trend of declining sales and start making a profit again.
In the given memo the marketing director of Top Dog Pet store, suggests declining sales and start marketing, by giving ads in the Exotics magazine of gulf city. This argument is unconvincing because it is rife with assumptions about the increase in a sale by a magazine ad.
To begin with, the argument relies on the assumption that, the author is talking about five years ago Fish Emporium started advertising in the magazine Exotic Monthly. Their store saw sales increased by 15 percent after their ads appearing in the magazine. Here, maybe the service of the Fish store is good, or maybe they provide extra services regarding pet’s health like; Free clinical check-up. Also, they are providing some offers, for example, One month Fish food is free. Moreover, the author is talking about; The Fish Emporium stores in gulf city saw an even greater increase. There is a possibility the local people who live in gulf city most of them like a fish as a pet that dog. There is no particular information is given by the author about hoe the Exotics magazine can help Fish emporium to increase in their profit.
Additionally, the author is talking about the Top Dog Pet stores are based in gulf city, and the author is a suggestion about to start posting ads in Exotic Pets monthly. But, the author is not provided specific evidence that convinces the increase in profit. Also maybe there are possibilities that Exotic Magazine is having high rates that are not possible to afford Top Dog Pet store. And the count of people who like dogs is maybe less than the count of people who like Fish. So, the only ads do not help to increase in a sale.
Moreover, the author suggests that, if we post the ad we will sure to reserve the recent trend of declining sales and start making a profit again. Here, the author is concluded and gives direct relation between posting ads and increasing a sale, but there are possibilities the service of Top Dog Pet Stores is not sustaining the customer demand. And also there is only a limited breed of dogs which not liked by people. Also possible that the fish need less place than a dog and because of that local people think that fish is more convenient than a dog, because of the space issue.
Hence, the assumptions like posting an ad in an Exotic Magazine will help to increase in a profit, without any specific evidence that makes the argument defective and vague.
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Comments
Essay evaluation report
Attribute Value Ideal
Final score: 3.5 out of 6
Category: Satisfactory Excellent
No. of Grammatical Errors: 0 2
No. of Spelling Errors: 0 2
No. of Sentences: 19 15
No. of Words: 425 350
No. of Characters: 1929 1500
No. of Different Words: 184 200
Fourth Root of Number of Words: 4.54 4.7
Average Word Length: 4.539 4.6
Word Length SD: 2.365 2.4
No. of Words greater than 5 chars: 120 100
No. of Words greater than 6 chars: 86 80
No. of Words greater than 7 chars: 62 40
No. of Words greater than 8 chars: 26 20
Use of Passive Voice (%): 0 0
Avg. Sentence Length: 22.368 21.0
Sentence Length SD: 6.393 7.5
Use of Discourse Markers (%): 0.684 0.12
Sentence-Text Coherence: 0.345 0.35
Sentence-Para Coherence: 0.531 0.50
Sentence-Sentence Coherence: 0.088 0.07
Number of Paragraphs: 5 5
Grammar and spelling errors:
Line 1, column 275, Rule ID: WHITESPACE_RULE
Message: Possible typo: you repeated a whitespace
Suggestion:
...he increase in a sale by a magazine ad. To begin with, the argument relies on th...
^^^^
Line 5, column 262, Rule ID: SENT_START_CONJUNCTIVE_LINKING_ADVERB_COMMA[1]
Message: Did you forget a comma after a conjunctive/linking adverb?
Suggestion: Also,
... that convinces the increase in profit. Also maybe there are possibilities that Exot...
^^^^
Line 5, column 371, Rule ID: AFFORD_VB[1]
Message: This verb is used with the infinitive: 'to top'
Suggestion: To top
...h rates that are not possible to afford Top Dog Pet store. And the count of people ...
^^^
Line 7, column 422, Rule ID: SENT_START_CONJUNCTIVE_LINKING_ADVERB_COMMA[1]
Message: Did you forget a comma after a conjunctive/linking adverb?
Suggestion: Also,
...reed of dogs which not liked by people. Also possible that the fish need less place ...
^^^^
Transition Words or Phrases used:
also, but, hence, if, may, moreover, regarding, so, for example, talking about, to begin with
Attributes: Values AverageValues Percentages(Values/AverageValues)% => Comments
Performance on Part of Speech:
To be verbs : 23.0 19.6327345309 117% => OK
Auxiliary verbs: 4.0 12.9520958084 31% => OK
Conjunction : 11.0 11.1786427146 98% => OK
Relative clauses : 14.0 13.6137724551 103% => OK
Pronoun: 20.0 28.8173652695 69% => OK
Preposition: 56.0 55.5748502994 101% => OK
Nominalization: 9.0 16.3942115768 55% => More nominalizations (nouns with a suffix like: tion ment ence ance) wanted.
Performance on vocabulary words:
No of characters: 1988.0 2260.96107784 88% => OK
No of words: 425.0 441.139720559 96% => OK
Chars per words: 4.67764705882 5.12650576532 91% => OK
Fourth root words length: 4.54043259262 4.56307096286 100% => OK
Word Length SD: 2.42863425815 2.78398813304 87% => OK
Unique words: 191.0 204.123752495 94% => More unique words wanted.
Unique words percentage: 0.449411764706 0.468620217663 96% => OK
syllable_count: 644.4 705.55239521 91% => OK
avg_syllables_per_word: 1.5 1.59920159681 94% => OK
A sentence (or a clause, phrase) starts by:
Pronoun: 3.0 4.96107784431 60% => OK
Article: 10.0 8.76447105788 114% => OK
Subordination: 2.0 2.70958083832 74% => OK
Conjunction: 5.0 1.67365269461 299% => Less conjunction wanted as sentence beginning.
Preposition: 5.0 4.22255489022 118% => OK
Performance on sentences:
How many sentences: 19.0 19.7664670659 96% => OK
Sentence length: 22.0 22.8473053892 96% => OK
Sentence length SD: 39.9673689617 57.8364921388 69% => OK
Chars per sentence: 104.631578947 119.503703932 88% => OK
Words per sentence: 22.3684210526 23.324526521 96% => OK
Discourse Markers: 4.89473684211 5.70786347227 86% => OK
Paragraphs: 5.0 5.15768463074 97% => OK
Language errors: 4.0 5.25449101796 76% => OK
Sentences with positive sentiment : 14.0 8.20758483034 171% => OK
Sentences with negative sentiment : 4.0 6.88822355289 58% => More negative sentences wanted.
Sentences with neutral sentiment: 1.0 4.67664670659 21% => More facts, knowledge or examples wanted.
What are sentences with positive/Negative/neutral sentiment?
Coherence and Cohesion:
Essay topic to essay body coherence: 0.406985522012 0.218282227539 186% => OK
Sentence topic coherence: 0.132496421947 0.0743258471296 178% => OK
Sentence topic coherence SD: 0.107958630168 0.0701772020484 154% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence: 0.228968791349 0.128457276422 178% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence SD: 0.107266424357 0.0628817314937 171% => OK
Essay readability:
automated_readability_index: 11.8 14.3799401198 82% => Automated_readability_index is low.
flesch_reading_ease: 57.61 48.3550499002 119% => OK
smog_index: 3.1 7.1628742515 43% => Smog_index is low.
flesch_kincaid_grade: 10.7 12.197005988 88% => OK
coleman_liau_index: 10.16 12.5979740519 81% => OK
dale_chall_readability_score: 7.74 8.32208582834 93% => OK
difficult_words: 81.0 98.500998004 82% => More difficult words wanted.
linsear_write_formula: 10.5 12.3882235529 85% => OK
gunning_fog: 10.8 11.1389221557 97% => OK
text_standard: 11.0 11.9071856287 92% => OK
What are above readability scores?
---------------------
Rates: 50.0 out of 100
Scores by essay e-grader: 3.0 Out of 6
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Note: the e-grader does NOT examine the meaning of words and ideas. VIP users will receive further evaluations by advanced module of e-grader and human graders.