The following appeared in a memo from a vice president of a manufacturing company.
"During the past year, workers at our newly opened factory reported 30 percent more on-the-job accidents than workers at nearby Panoply Industries. Panoply produces products very similar to those produced at our factory, but its work shifts are one hour shorter than ours. Experts say that fatigue and sleep deprivation among workers are significant contributing factors in many on-the-job accidents. Panoply's superior safety record can therefore be attributed to its shorter work shifts, which allow its employees to get adequate amounts of rest."
Write a response in which you discuss one or more alternative explanations that could rival the proposed explanation and explain how your explanation(s) can plausibly account for the facts presented in the argument.
Worker safety is key to to the success of any company. Increases to work place safety can save a business millions of dollars. There are many aspects that could improve worker safety in the work place. One of these ideas is shorter shifts which could lead to the increase in sleep and thus the increased alertness of the employees. shifts do not guarnette that the workers will be more rested when they come to work. A shorter shift gives the worker more time in the day to do whatever they chose to do. However, shorter shifts should not be the only explanation for increbible safety records.
One factor that could contribute to increases in employee safety is fact that employees need to learn more about the equipment that they are using. This reason could explain why new Panoply factory has had more accidents than nearby factories is because of the employees lack of experience with the equipment. . New equipment does not mean that the equipment is not dangerous to operate. While new equipment gives the employee the ability to work more efficeinty, workers could also be getting used to the new equipment. Whhile someone has to train employees on new equipment, the likely-hood of an accident occurring increases, the safety elements learned would conitune into the future. Increases to training workers on new equipment could lead to increases in work place safety at Panoply.
An explanation that could explain why the new Panoply factory has more accidents is there are more people working in the factory. While the nearby factory produces similar items to those at the new Panoply factory, there could be less employees in the factory. With more employees in the new factory, the amount of accidents would increase simply as amount of employees that work in the factory. It is like adding more cars to the highway, the likehood of an accident increases. This large amount of people in a factory could also cause accidents since veteran workers may not be used to having some many people while they worked. More accidents could be a result of the amount of people in the new factory for Panoply.
Worker safety is a parmount to any business or organization. Making the case that, the reason that the nearby factories are more safe than the new factory based on the shorter shifts of the employees. This assumption is incomplete since it only assumes that accidents are caused by lack of sleep.
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Comments
Essay evaluation report
Attribute Value Ideal
Final score: 3.0 out of 6
Category: Satisfactory Excellent
No. of Grammatical Errors: 0 2
No. of Spelling Errors: 0 2
No. of Sentences: 21 15
No. of Words: 411 350
No. of Characters: 1961 1500
No. of Different Words: 164 200
Fourth Root of Number of Words: 4.503 4.7
Average Word Length: 4.771 4.6
Word Length SD: 2.385 2.4
No. of Words greater than 5 chars: 146 100
No. of Words greater than 6 chars: 105 80
No. of Words greater than 7 chars: 61 40
No. of Words greater than 8 chars: 45 20
Use of Passive Voice (%): 0 0
Avg. Sentence Length: 19.571 21.0
Sentence Length SD: 6.877 7.5
Use of Discourse Markers (%): 0.238 0.12
Sentence-Text Coherence: 0.357 0.35
Sentence-Para Coherence: 0.541 0.50
Sentence-Sentence Coherence: 0.135 0.07
Number of Paragraphs: 4 5
Grammar and spelling errors:
Line 1, column 22, Rule ID: ENGLISH_WORD_REPEAT_RULE
Message: Possible typo: you repeated a word
Suggestion: to
Worker safety is key to to the success of any company. Increases t...
^^^^^
Line 1, column 107, Rule ID: A_PLURAL[2]
Message: Don't use indefinite articles with plural words. Did you mean 'million'?
Suggestion: million
...o work place safety can save a business millions of dollars. There are many aspects tha...
^^^^^^^^
Line 1, column 334, Rule ID: UPPERCASE_SENTENCE_START
Message: This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
Suggestion: Shifts
...e increased alertness of the employees. shifts do not guarnette that the workers will ...
^^^^^^
Line 1, column 596, Rule ID: WHITESPACE_RULE
Message: Possible typo: you repeated a whitespace
Suggestion:
...lanation for increbible safety records. One factor that could contribute to incr...
^^^^
Line 3, column 311, Rule ID: COMMA_PARENTHESIS_WHITESPACE
Message: Don't put a space before the full stop
Suggestion: .
... lack of experience with the equipment. . New equipment does not mean that the eq...
^
Line 5, column 231, Rule ID: FEWER_LESS[2]
Message: Did you mean 'fewer'? The noun employees is countable.
Suggestion: fewer
...the new Panoply factory, there could be less employees in the factory. With more emp...
^^^^
Transition Words or Phrases used:
also, but, however, if, may, so, thus, while, as to
Attributes: Values AverageValues Percentages(Values/AverageValues)% => Comments
Performance on Part of Speech:
To be verbs : 20.0 19.6327345309 102% => OK
Auxiliary verbs: 17.0 12.9520958084 131% => OK
Conjunction : 2.0 11.1786427146 18% => More conjunction wanted.
Relative clauses : 13.0 13.6137724551 95% => OK
Pronoun: 22.0 28.8173652695 76% => OK
Preposition: 58.0 55.5748502994 104% => OK
Nominalization: 13.0 16.3942115768 79% => OK
Performance on vocabulary words:
No of characters: 2004.0 2260.96107784 89% => OK
No of words: 411.0 441.139720559 93% => More content wanted.
Chars per words: 4.87591240876 5.12650576532 95% => OK
Fourth root words length: 4.50256981431 4.56307096286 99% => OK
Word Length SD: 2.47353796134 2.78398813304 89% => OK
Unique words: 168.0 204.123752495 82% => More unique words wanted.
Unique words percentage: 0.408759124088 0.468620217663 87% => More unique words wanted or less content wanted.
syllable_count: 636.3 705.55239521 90% => OK
avg_syllables_per_word: 1.5 1.59920159681 94% => OK
A sentence (or a clause, phrase) starts by:
Pronoun: 4.0 4.96107784431 81% => OK
Article: 7.0 8.76447105788 80% => OK
Subordination: 2.0 2.70958083832 74% => OK
Conjunction: 0.0 1.67365269461 0% => OK
Preposition: 1.0 4.22255489022 24% => More preposition wanted as sentence beginning.
Performance on sentences:
How many sentences: 22.0 19.7664670659 111% => OK
Sentence length: 18.0 22.8473053892 79% => The Avg. Sentence Length is relatively short.
Sentence length SD: 33.5500120087 57.8364921388 58% => The essay contains lots of sentences with the similar length. More sentence varieties wanted.
Chars per sentence: 91.0909090909 119.503703932 76% => OK
Words per sentence: 18.6818181818 23.324526521 80% => OK
Discourse Markers: 2.31818181818 5.70786347227 41% => More transition words/phrases wanted.
Paragraphs: 4.0 5.15768463074 78% => More paragraphs wanted.
Language errors: 6.0 5.25449101796 114% => OK
Sentences with positive sentiment : 11.0 8.20758483034 134% => OK
Sentences with negative sentiment : 7.0 6.88822355289 102% => OK
Sentences with neutral sentiment: 4.0 4.67664670659 86% => OK
What are sentences with positive/Negative/neutral sentiment?
Coherence and Cohesion:
Essay topic to essay body coherence: 0.174020001331 0.218282227539 80% => OK
Sentence topic coherence: 0.0649270858485 0.0743258471296 87% => OK
Sentence topic coherence SD: 0.0492398936749 0.0701772020484 70% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence: 0.119995148428 0.128457276422 93% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence SD: 0.0285658566302 0.0628817314937 45% => Paragraphs are similar to each other. Some content may get duplicated or it is not exactly right on the topic.
Essay readability:
automated_readability_index: 10.9 14.3799401198 76% => Automated_readability_index is low.
flesch_reading_ease: 61.67 48.3550499002 128% => OK
smog_index: 3.1 7.1628742515 43% => Smog_index is low.
flesch_kincaid_grade: 9.1 12.197005988 75% => OK
coleman_liau_index: 11.02 12.5979740519 87% => OK
dale_chall_readability_score: 7.18 8.32208582834 86% => OK
difficult_words: 69.0 98.500998004 70% => More difficult words wanted.
linsear_write_formula: 6.0 12.3882235529 48% => Linsear_write_formula is low.
gunning_fog: 9.2 11.1389221557 83% => OK
text_standard: 11.0 11.9071856287 92% => OK
What are above readability scores?
---------------------
Rates: 50.0 out of 100
Scores by essay e-grader: 3.0 Out of 6
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Note: the e-grader does NOT examine the meaning of words and ideas. VIP users will receive further evaluations by advanced module of e-grader and human graders.