The following appeared in a memorandum from the owner of Movies Galore, a chain of video rental stores.
"In order to reverse the recent decline in our profits, we must reduce operating expenses at Movie Galore's ten video rental stores. Since we are famous for your special bargains, raising our rental prices is not a viable way to improve profits. Last month our store in downtown Marston significantly decreased its operating expenses by closing at 6:00 P.M. rather than 9:00 P.M. and by reducing its stock by eliminating all movies released more than five years ago. Therefore, in order to increase profits without jeopardizing our reputation for offering great movies at low prices, we recommend implementing similar changes in our other nine Movies Galore stores."
Write a response in which you discuss what questions would need to be addressed in order to decide whether implementing the recommendation is likely to have the predicted result and explain how the answers to those questions would help to evaluate the recommendation.
The owner of Movies Galore is recommending to implement changes in nine of its stores similar to the the changes implemented in its downtown Marston store: close at 6pm instead of 9pm and reduce its stock by eliminating all movies released more than five years ago. Whilst this recommendation may seem sound at first glance, it does not contain enough supporting evidence to make it a convincing or cogent one.
First, the recommendation readily assumes that decreasing operating expenses will improve profits. However, it is not clear whether or not implementing the recommended changes increases profit. Did the Marston store improve profits after implementing these changes? If not, then the recommendation does not make any sense. Including these results is vital for the recommendation to have any good standing.
Let us assume that implementing these changes at the Marston store did indeed improve profits. How do we know for sure that these changes will produce the same results at the other nine stores? Where are the other stores located? The location of these other stores is very important for a number of reasons. First, what is the customer demographic like at these other stores? Are they similar to the one at the Marston store? These questions are important because while it may be true that eliminating any movies older than five years helped the Marston store, the customer demographic at other stores may be quite different and would in fact be more likely to rent older movies. It is necessary to investigate the customers' preferences themselves at each store and determine whether eliminating older movies would improve profits.
Second, what is the price of living at the locations of these other stores? The recommendation states that raising rental prices is not a viable way to improve profits because Movies Galore is famous for their special bargains. Even if this argument is true at the Marston store (which the recommendation never clearly states), would this be true at the other stores? Perhaps the price of living is higher in the other locations, and customers would not be too bothered with a slight increase in price because it would still be lower than many of the other expenses that they are paying. In this case, raising rental prices may be a good way to improve profit.
Third, how many customers come between 6pm and 9pm at the other stores? If those are the hours where the most customers come in, then closing the stores at 6pm may actually be harmful profits. It would make most sense to investigate how many customers are coming in every day and when and then decrease opening hours of the stores based on the hours that the least number of customers rent movies.
In order to properly assess the recommendation, it is essential to have more information on the profits at the Marston store and the location, customer demographics, and rental information in the other nine stores. Without this important information, the recommendation is incomplete, and it cannot be determined whether it is likely to improve profits at Movies Galore.
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Comments
Essay evaluation report
Attribute Value Ideal
Final score: 3.5 out of 6
Category: Satisfactory Excellent
No. of Grammatical Errors: 0 2
No. of Spelling Errors: 0 2
No. of Sentences: 25 15
No. of Words: 513 350
No. of Characters: 2521 1500
No. of Different Words: 202 200
Fourth Root of Number of Words: 4.759 4.7
Average Word Length: 4.914 4.6
Word Length SD: 2.665 2.4
No. of Words greater than 5 chars: 181 100
No. of Words greater than 6 chars: 126 80
No. of Words greater than 7 chars: 70 40
No. of Words greater than 8 chars: 52 20
Use of Passive Voice (%): 0 0
Avg. Sentence Length: 20.52 21.0
Sentence Length SD: 11.053 7.5
Use of Discourse Markers (%): 0.52 0.12
Sentence-Text Coherence: 0.323 0.35
Sentence-Para Coherence: 0.541 0.50
Sentence-Sentence Coherence: 0.115 0.07
Number of Paragraphs: 6 5
Grammar and spelling errors:
Line 1, column 98, Rule ID: ENGLISH_WORD_REPEAT_RULE
Message: Possible typo: you repeated a word
Suggestion: the
...hanges in nine of its stores similar to the the changes implemented in its downtown Mar...
^^^^^^^
Line 1, column 98, Rule ID: DT_DT[1]
Message: Maybe you need to remove one determiner so that only 'the' or 'the' is left.
Suggestion: the; the
...hanges in nine of its stores similar to the the changes implemented in its downtown Mar...
^^^^^^^
Line 3, column 125, Rule ID: WHETHER[7]
Message: Perhaps you can shorten this phrase to just 'whether'. It is correct though if you mean 'regardless of whether'.
Suggestion: whether
...prove profits. However, it is not clear whether or not implementing the recommended changes in...
^^^^^^^^^^^^^^
Line 9, column 264, Rule ID: ANINFOR_EVERY_DAY[1]
Message: Did you mean 'in everyday'?
Suggestion: in everyday
...vestigate how many customers are coming in every day and when and then decrease opening hour...
^^^^^^^^^^^^
Transition Words or Phrases used:
actually, first, however, if, may, second, so, still, then, third, while, in fact
Attributes: Values AverageValues Percentages(Values/AverageValues)% => Comments
Performance on Part of Speech:
To be verbs : 29.0 19.6327345309 148% => OK
Auxiliary verbs: 14.0 12.9520958084 108% => OK
Conjunction : 12.0 11.1786427146 107% => OK
Relative clauses : 11.0 13.6137724551 81% => OK
Pronoun: 40.0 28.8173652695 139% => Less pronouns wanted
Preposition: 57.0 55.5748502994 103% => OK
Nominalization: 16.0 16.3942115768 98% => OK
Performance on vocabulary words:
No of characters: 2584.0 2260.96107784 114% => OK
No of words: 513.0 441.139720559 116% => OK
Chars per words: 5.03703703704 5.12650576532 98% => OK
Fourth root words length: 4.75914943092 4.56307096286 104% => OK
Word Length SD: 2.72559096394 2.78398813304 98% => OK
Unique words: 210.0 204.123752495 103% => OK
Unique words percentage: 0.409356725146 0.468620217663 87% => More unique words wanted or less content wanted.
syllable_count: 816.3 705.55239521 116% => OK
avg_syllables_per_word: 1.6 1.59920159681 100% => OK
A sentence (or a clause, phrase) starts by:
Pronoun: 6.0 4.96107784431 121% => OK
Article: 6.0 8.76447105788 68% => OK
Subordination: 3.0 2.70958083832 111% => OK
Conjunction: 3.0 1.67365269461 179% => OK
Preposition: 3.0 4.22255489022 71% => OK
Performance on sentences:
How many sentences: 25.0 19.7664670659 126% => OK
Sentence length: 20.0 22.8473053892 88% => OK
Sentence length SD: 63.945551839 57.8364921388 111% => OK
Chars per sentence: 103.36 119.503703932 86% => OK
Words per sentence: 20.52 23.324526521 88% => OK
Discourse Markers: 3.24 5.70786347227 57% => More transition words/phrases wanted.
Paragraphs: 6.0 5.15768463074 116% => OK
Language errors: 4.0 5.25449101796 76% => OK
Sentences with positive sentiment : 18.0 8.20758483034 219% => Less positive sentences wanted.
Sentences with negative sentiment : 1.0 6.88822355289 15% => More negative sentences wanted.
Sentences with neutral sentiment: 6.0 4.67664670659 128% => OK
What are sentences with positive/Negative/neutral sentiment?
Coherence and Cohesion:
Essay topic to essay body coherence: 0.111305010044 0.218282227539 51% => OK
Sentence topic coherence: 0.0384637075659 0.0743258471296 52% => OK
Sentence topic coherence SD: 0.0359083772217 0.0701772020484 51% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence: 0.0697114025369 0.128457276422 54% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence SD: 0.0350558317798 0.0628817314937 56% => OK
Essay readability:
automated_readability_index: 12.6 14.3799401198 88% => Automated_readability_index is low.
flesch_reading_ease: 51.18 48.3550499002 106% => OK
smog_index: 8.8 7.1628742515 123% => OK
flesch_kincaid_grade: 11.1 12.197005988 91% => OK
coleman_liau_index: 11.95 12.5979740519 95% => OK
dale_chall_readability_score: 7.49 8.32208582834 90% => OK
difficult_words: 93.0 98.500998004 94% => OK
linsear_write_formula: 11.5 12.3882235529 93% => OK
gunning_fog: 10.0 11.1389221557 90% => OK
text_standard: 12.0 11.9071856287 101% => OK
What are above readability scores?
---------------------
Rates: 58.33 out of 100
Scores by essay e-grader: 3.5 Out of 6
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Note: the e-grader does NOT examine the meaning of words and ideas. VIP users will receive further evaluations by advanced module of e-grader and human graders.