The following appeared in a memorandum from the president of Aurora, a company that sells organic milk (milk produced without the use of chemical additives):
“Sales of organic food products in this country have tripled over the past five years. If Aurora is to profit from this
continuing trend, we must diversify and start selling products such as organic orange juice and organic eggs in
addition to our regular product line. With the recent increase of articles in health magazines questioning the safety of
milk and other food products, customers are even more likely to buy our line of organic products. And to help ensure
our successful expansion, we should hire the founder of a chain of health-food stores to serve as our vice president
of marketing.”
Discuss how well reasoned . . . etc.
The paragraph provided is from the memorandum of Aurora’s president, Aurora is a company that sells organic milk. The president has assumed that the company can increase its profit margin with the country’s current trend of organic food consumption. He/She has attained the conclusion without proper strong evidences that can substantiate their claims. Because, the reasons provided such as the general liking of organic products, diversifying their catalogue items and assuming their milk is safe are highly superficial. And one more major assumption here is hiring the founder of a health food store as vice president of marketing would ensure their successful expansion. The assumptions stated above are lacking evidences to convince that it is a logically derived conclusion.
Primarily, let us consider the assuming that since the sales of organic food have tripled in the past five years,it would continue to do so. There is no statistical evidences based on any survey proving that there will be a continuous liking towards the organic food products. Any research advocating that consuming organic food items is beneficial for the overall health isnt provided. The author has failed to provide data and reasons to assume that people would still prefer or continue to like organice foods in the coming years. It is evident that the author has blindly assumed that the trend would continue to be so in the coming years without even understanding why it was high in the preivous years and they can relatively see a high profit margin in the future.
Secondly, the president is suggesting to diversify their product lines with organic juices and eggs. He has failed to provide evidences to justify the need. Had there been any substantial evidence that proves the need of the above mentioned items or any request from potential customers or existing customers to diversify the organic food range from Aurora, then this claim is valid to increase their profit margin.
And also , he has mentioned that health magazines are questioning the safety of milk and milk products. The president widely assumes that Aurora's product is safe because it doesnt have any additional chemicals. But the details of the artcile regarding the parameters checked and questioned arent given for the readers to understand that organic milk from Aurora is comparatively safer. And they have also failed to mention the composition of their milk packet/sachet/bottle for a better understanding of their product.
Finally, the president has suggested that hiring the founder of chain of health care products as Vice President of marketing would ensure their successful expansion. This is a blind assumption and a complete marketing gimmick to fool the consumer. Organic products doesnt ensure healthy food and there is no support for the same from the author. Data representing the success of the health care product and its founder is aware of the attributes of the organic products and arent provided to convince that he/she is the right choice for the open position. He/she might have even failed his start up which indirectly means has failed to convince the consumers and is looking for a job opportunity.
To conclude, there are many doubts that has arised from the claims of the president and his suggestions. If there is enough data answering all the above doubts such as the need of the organic food in the future, health benefits of the organic milk, and safety of consuming the same, data why the founder is the right candidate for marketing then the conclusion might be acceptable. Otherwise this seems an emotionally derived statement.
| Post date | Users | Rates | Link to Content |
|---|---|---|---|
| 2021-08-14 | mmahadevan | 58 | view |
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Comments
e-rater score report
Attribute Value Ideal
Final score: 3.5 out of 6
Category: Satisfactory Excellent
No. of Grammatical Errors: 4 2
No. of Spelling Errors: 9 2
No. of Sentences: 26 15
No. of Words: 595 350
No. of Characters: 2988 1500
No. of Different Words: 253 200
Fourth Root of Number of Words: 4.939 4.7
Average Word Length: 5.022 4.6
Word Length SD: 2.593 2.4
No. of Words greater than 5 chars: 230 100
No. of Words greater than 6 chars: 170 80
No. of Words greater than 7 chars: 112 40
No. of Words greater than 8 chars: 77 20
Use of Passive Voice (%): 0 0
Avg. Sentence Length: 22.885 21.0
Sentence Length SD: 10.063 7.5
Use of Discourse Markers (%): 0.423 0.12
Sentence-Text Coherence: 0.293 0.35
Sentence-Para Coherence: 0.504 0.50
Sentence-Sentence Coherence: 0.098 0.07
Number of Paragraphs: 6 5
Grammar and spelling errors:
Line 3, column 113, Rule ID: COMMA_PARENTHESIS_WHITESPACE
Message: Put a space after the comma
Suggestion: , it
...food have tripled in the past five years,it would continue to do so. There is no s...
^^^
Line 3, column 374, Rule ID: EN_CONTRACTION_SPELLING
Message: Possible spelling mistake found
Suggestion: isn't
...ms is beneficial for the overall health isnt provided. The author has failed to prov...
^^^^
Line 7, column 9, Rule ID: COMMA_PARENTHESIS_WHITESPACE
Message: Put a space after the comma, but not before the comma
Suggestion: ,
...ncrease their profit margin. And also , he has mentioned that health magazines ...
^^
Line 7, column 174, Rule ID: EN_CONTRACTION_SPELLING
Message: Possible spelling mistake found
Suggestion: doesn't
...that Auroras product is safe because it doesnt have any additional chemicals. But the ...
^^^^^^
Line 7, column 291, Rule ID: EN_CONTRACTION_SPELLING
Message: Possible spelling mistake found
Suggestion: aren't
...g the parameters checked and questioned arent given for the readers to understand tha...
^^^^^
Line 9, column 266, Rule ID: EN_CONTRACTION_SPELLING
Message: Possible spelling mistake found
Suggestion: doesn't
... to fool the consumer. Organic products doesnt ensure healthy food and there is no sup...
^^^^^^
Line 9, column 422, Rule ID: WHITESPACE_RULE
Message: Possible typo: you repeated a whitespace
Suggestion:
...e health care product and its founder is aware of the attributes of the organic p...
^^
Line 9, column 476, Rule ID: EN_CONTRACTION_SPELLING
Message: Possible spelling mistake found
Suggestion: aren't
... attributes of the organic products and arent provided to convince that he/she is the...
^^^^^
Line 11, column 383, Rule ID: SENT_START_CONJUNCTIVE_LINKING_ADVERB_COMMA[1]
Message: Did you forget a comma after a conjunctive/linking adverb?
Suggestion: Otherwise,
...hen the conclusion might be acceptable. Otherwise this seems an emotionally derived state...
^^^^^^^^^
Transition Words or Phrases used:
also, but, finally, if, look, regarding, second, secondly, so, still, then, such as
Attributes: Values AverageValues Percentages(Values/AverageValues)% => Comments
Performance on Part of Speech:
To be verbs : 28.0 19.6327345309 143% => OK
Auxiliary verbs: 14.0 12.9520958084 108% => OK
Conjunction : 20.0 11.1786427146 179% => OK
Relative clauses : 18.0 13.6137724551 132% => OK
Pronoun: 49.0 28.8173652695 170% => Less pronouns wanted
Preposition: 63.0 55.5748502994 113% => OK
Nominalization: 8.0 16.3942115768 49% => More nominalizations (nouns with a suffix like: tion ment ence ance) wanted.
Performance on vocabulary words:
No of characters: 3055.0 2260.96107784 135% => OK
No of words: 589.0 441.139720559 134% => OK
Chars per words: 5.18675721562 5.12650576532 101% => OK
Fourth root words length: 4.92639038232 4.56307096286 108% => OK
Word Length SD: 2.74039284493 2.78398813304 98% => OK
Unique words: 258.0 204.123752495 126% => OK
Unique words percentage: 0.438030560272 0.468620217663 93% => More unique words wanted or less content wanted.
syllable_count: 955.8 705.55239521 135% => OK
avg_syllables_per_word: 1.6 1.59920159681 100% => OK
A sentence (or a clause, phrase) starts by:
Pronoun: 7.0 4.96107784431 141% => OK
Article: 8.0 8.76447105788 91% => OK
Subordination: 1.0 2.70958083832 37% => OK
Conjunction: 5.0 1.67365269461 299% => Less conjunction wanted as sentence beginning.
Preposition: 1.0 4.22255489022 24% => More preposition wanted as sentence beginning.
Performance on sentences:
How many sentences: 26.0 19.7664670659 132% => OK
Sentence length: 22.0 22.8473053892 96% => OK
Sentence length SD: 55.1621600857 57.8364921388 95% => OK
Chars per sentence: 117.5 119.503703932 98% => OK
Words per sentence: 22.6538461538 23.324526521 97% => OK
Discourse Markers: 3.19230769231 5.70786347227 56% => More transition words/phrases wanted.
Paragraphs: 6.0 5.15768463074 116% => OK
Language errors: 9.0 5.25449101796 171% => OK
Sentences with positive sentiment : 14.0 8.20758483034 171% => OK
Sentences with negative sentiment : 8.0 6.88822355289 116% => OK
Sentences with neutral sentiment: 4.0 4.67664670659 86% => OK
What are sentences with positive/Negative/neutral sentiment?
Coherence and Cohesion:
Essay topic to essay body coherence: 0.330916958907 0.218282227539 152% => OK
Sentence topic coherence: 0.0945284469287 0.0743258471296 127% => OK
Sentence topic coherence SD: 0.0829901740592 0.0701772020484 118% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence: 0.175339723288 0.128457276422 136% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence SD: 0.0516293560545 0.0628817314937 82% => OK
Essay readability:
automated_readability_index: 14.3 14.3799401198 99% => OK
flesch_reading_ease: 49.15 48.3550499002 102% => OK
smog_index: 8.8 7.1628742515 123% => OK
flesch_kincaid_grade: 11.9 12.197005988 98% => OK
coleman_liau_index: 13.12 12.5979740519 104% => OK
dale_chall_readability_score: 8.56 8.32208582834 103% => OK
difficult_words: 143.0 98.500998004 145% => OK
linsear_write_formula: 11.0 12.3882235529 89% => OK
gunning_fog: 10.8 11.1389221557 97% => OK
text_standard: 11.0 11.9071856287 92% => OK
What are above readability scores?
---------------------
Rates: 66.67 out of 100
Scores by essay e-grader: 4.0 Out of 6
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Note: the e-grader does NOT examine the meaning of words and ideas. VIP users will receive further evaluations by advanced module of e-grader and human graders.