The following appeared on the Mozart School of Music Web site."The Mozart School of Music should be the first choice for parents considering enrolling their child in music lessons. First of all, the Mozart School welcomes youngsters at all ability and age
The argument is portraying Mozart School of Music as the first choice for parents without providing adequate proof to validate the statement. As an example, the argument states that the faculty list contains some distinguished musicians without providing any name. The argument provided an opaque picture of the course offerings; as an example, which instruments are being taught by whom. It is plausible that students enrolled in learning a certain instrument end up being taught by an average musician.
Furthermore, when talking about the success rate of Mozart graduates to become well know musicians, the statement does not provide what is the success percentage or did not even name a few of such alumni to back the claim. In any school, there may be thousands of students enrolled every year and if one or two students became well known, the percentage of success versus failure is too large. When talking about a highly paid professional musician, the argument does not mention any average (mean) or range of the money a graduate from Mozart school makes. Hence, this part of claiming the great future of Mozart graduates is not gullible and pose more questions.
The arguments focused on offering classes for students of a wide range of aptitudes and current levels of music. But, it ignores to state the plan on how to evaluate their current proficiencies if there is no audition. Without an audition, if they enroll a bunch of students and then try to put them in the same class, the learning will be highly impacted by the diversity of their current state. The argument does not provide enough light to provide a plan on how to bridge the gap, what is the evaluation strategy, how to engage them to have meaningful learning for everyone.
Although the argument dazzled the success of the alumni by claiming some of them being well-known and highly paid, it does not disclose how they support the students' placement post-completion.
The argument does not provide any reference to any other competitor school as a reference. It does not mention the cost to study music. It is not necessary that a great musician born is a wealthy family, hence, the cost to avail the education is also a prime factor in attending a specific school. The argument fails to provide a ranking for the school in the area of Music schools. Assuming Mozart school as the only great option will be very biased and facetious.
The argument only amplified the grandeur of Mozart school of music without providing the limitations and issues with the school. There are many open questions related to the evaluation process, other alternatives, the cost to education, the ranking and rating of the school. Due to all these limitations, this author's argument is not likely to significantly persuade the parents to admit their children to Mozart school without further investigation.
Essay evaluation report
Attribute Value Ideal
Final score: 4.0 out of 6
Category: Good Excellent
No. of Grammatical Errors: 0 2
No. of Spelling Errors: 0 2
No. of Sentences: 21 15
No. of Words: 479 350
No. of Characters: 2336 1500
No. of Different Words: 222 200
Fourth Root of Number of Words: 4.678 4.7
Average Word Length: 4.877 4.6
Word Length SD: 2.625 2.4
No. of Words greater than 5 chars: 181 100
No. of Words greater than 6 chars: 136 80
No. of Words greater than 7 chars: 93 40
No. of Words greater than 8 chars: 46 20
Use of Passive Voice (%): 0 0
Avg. Sentence Length: 22.81 21.0
Sentence Length SD: 7.287 7.5
Use of Discourse Markers (%): 0.381 0.12
Sentence-Text Coherence: 0.322 0.35
Sentence-Para Coherence: 0.576 0.50
Sentence-Sentence Coherence: 0.129 0.07
Number of Paragraphs: 6 5
Grammar and spelling errors:
Line 7, column 158, Rule ID: POSSESIVE_APOSTROPHE[1]
Message: Possible typo: apostrophe is missing. Did you mean 'students'' or 'student's'?
Suggestion: students'; student's
... does not disclose how they support the students placement post-completion. The argu...
^^^^^^^^
Transition Words or Phrases used:
also, but, first, furthermore, hence, if, may, so, then, well, talking about
Attributes: Values AverageValues Percentages(Values/AverageValues)% => Comments
Performance on Part of Speech:
To be verbs : 19.0 19.6327345309 97% => OK
Auxiliary verbs: 3.0 12.9520958084 23% => OK
Conjunction : 11.0 11.1786427146 98% => OK
Relative clauses : 7.0 13.6137724551 51% => More relative clauses wanted.
Pronoun: 19.0 28.8173652695 66% => OK
Preposition: 62.0 55.5748502994 112% => OK
Nominalization: 26.0 16.3942115768 159% => OK
Performance on vocabulary words:
No of characters: 2397.0 2260.96107784 106% => OK
No of words: 479.0 441.139720559 109% => OK
Chars per words: 5.00417536534 5.12650576532 98% => OK
Fourth root words length: 4.67825486995 4.56307096286 103% => OK
Word Length SD: 2.71211755077 2.78398813304 97% => OK
Unique words: 227.0 204.123752495 111% => OK
Unique words percentage: 0.473903966597 0.468620217663 101% => OK
syllable_count: 744.3 705.55239521 105% => OK
avg_syllables_per_word: 1.6 1.59920159681 100% => OK
A sentence (or a clause, phrase) starts by:
Pronoun: 7.0 4.96107784431 141% => OK
Article: 15.0 8.76447105788 171% => OK
Subordination: 6.0 2.70958083832 221% => Less adverbial clause wanted.
Conjunction: 0.0 1.67365269461 0% => OK
Preposition: 2.0 4.22255489022 47% => More preposition wanted as sentence beginning.
Performance on sentences:
How many sentences: 21.0 19.7664670659 106% => OK
Sentence length: 22.0 22.8473053892 96% => OK
Sentence length SD: 42.3522642336 57.8364921388 73% => OK
Chars per sentence: 114.142857143 119.503703932 96% => OK
Words per sentence: 22.8095238095 23.324526521 98% => OK
Discourse Markers: 3.61904761905 5.70786347227 63% => OK
Paragraphs: 6.0 5.15768463074 116% => OK
Language errors: 1.0 5.25449101796 19% => OK
Sentences with positive sentiment : 8.0 8.20758483034 97% => OK
Sentences with negative sentiment : 10.0 6.88822355289 145% => OK
Sentences with neutral sentiment: 3.0 4.67664670659 64% => OK
What are sentences with positive/Negative/neutral sentiment?
Coherence and Cohesion:
Essay topic to essay body coherence: 0.263658107011 0.218282227539 121% => OK
Sentence topic coherence: 0.0923467449828 0.0743258471296 124% => OK
Sentence topic coherence SD: 0.0864662027684 0.0701772020484 123% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence: 0.142502038321 0.128457276422 111% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence SD: 0.0897125308801 0.0628817314937 143% => OK
Essay readability:
automated_readability_index: 13.5 14.3799401198 94% => Automated_readability_index is low.
flesch_reading_ease: 49.15 48.3550499002 102% => OK
smog_index: 3.1 7.1628742515 43% => Smog_index is low.
flesch_kincaid_grade: 11.9 12.197005988 98% => OK
coleman_liau_index: 12.02 12.5979740519 95% => OK
dale_chall_readability_score: 8.39 8.32208582834 101% => OK
difficult_words: 111.0 98.500998004 113% => OK
linsear_write_formula: 9.0 12.3882235529 73% => OK
gunning_fog: 10.8 11.1389221557 97% => OK
text_standard: 12.0 11.9071856287 101% => OK
What are above readability scores?
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Rates: 66.67 out of 100
Scores by essay e-grader: 4.0 Out of 6
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Note: the e-grader does NOT examine the meaning of words and ideas. VIP users will receive further evaluations by advanced module of e-grader and human graders.