In this article, it is argued that in order to make success of the firms, businesses should hire people who sleep less than six hours oer night. The author shows us a recent study of sleeping hours among 300 male and female advertising executives . It indicated that there was a kind of relation between the individual sleeping hours and t he success of the companies they were hired, which showed us if the employees sleep less than six hours, their companies would earn more profits as well as grow faster. While this statement is problmatic and there are some loopholes in it.Also, more evidence needed if the author wants to convince us on this argurment. Let's reexamine them carefully.
To begin with, the author does not prove the arguement that if employees sleep less than six hours, their companies must be successfull. Firstly, whether there is a connection beween the employees' sleeping time and the archievement of their companies is still in question as the author does not offer us compelling evidence to prove this point. On the other hand, the atuhor expels lots of incidents which could make a company successfull. As an organic system, there are lots of othe factors can affect the achievenments of the company, but the author does not take them into consideration which make the argument of his/her own unconvicing. The strategies of the companies and the efficiency of the employees are all important cases could affect the perfomance of the companies.
In addtion, wether the study convincing is still in question. Firstly, there is no infromation about the method that how did the researchers collect the data of sleeping time, or in another word, maybe the data would be inaccruate if they were collected by the interview of employees because people may not konw the exact time of their sleep or they may not told the truth to the reseachers. Secondly, wether the scale of the study is large enough to make this conclusion is unwarranted. As maybe there would be more people taken into this study.Thirldy, the author does not tell us what kind of jobs of these people do as there are various works in a company. We could not make a general arguement without the consideration of different jobs of these people.
Finally, the recomendation of the author is not feasible for companies. In that we should admitt an assumption at first that everyone who applies for jobs would tell the real and exact sleeping time. But this assumption is unwarrated,either.
In conclusion, the argument is not convicing as there is no obvious connections between the sleeping time of the employees and the sccess of their companies. Also, the author could not expel other factors could influence the operations of the companies.
- TOEFL T P O 49 - Integrated Writing Task 3
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Essay evaluation report
Sentence: In this article, it is argued that in order to make success of the firms, businesses should hire people who sleep less than six hours oer night.
Error: oer Suggestion: her
Sentence: While this statement is problmatic and there are some loopholes in it.Also, more evidence needed if the author wants to convince us on this argurment.
Error: problmatic Suggestion: problematic
Error: argurment Suggestion: argument
Sentence: To begin with, the author does not prove the arguement that if employees sleep less than six hours, their companies must be successfull.
Error: successfull Suggestion: successful
Error: arguement Suggestion: argument
Sentence: Firstly, whether there is a connection beween the employees' sleeping time and the archievement of their companies is still in question as the author does not offer us compelling evidence to prove this point.
Error: beween Suggestion: between
Error: archievement Suggestion: achievement
Sentence: On the other hand, the atuhor expels lots of incidents which could make a company successfull.
Error: atuhor Suggestion: author
Error: successfull Suggestion: successful
Sentence: As an organic system, there are lots of othe factors can affect the achievenments of the company, but the author does not take them into consideration which make the argument of his/her own unconvicing.
Error: othe Suggestion: other
Error: achievenments Suggestion: achievements
Error: unconvicing Suggestion: unconvincing
Sentence: The strategies of the companies and the efficiency of the employees are all important cases could affect the perfomance of the companies.
Error: perfomance Suggestion: performance
Sentence: In addtion, wether the study convincing is still in question.
Error: wether Suggestion: No alternate word
Error: addtion Suggestion: addition
Sentence: Firstly, there is no infromation about the method that how did the researchers collect the data of sleeping time, or in another word, maybe the data would be inaccruate if they were collected by the interview of employees because people may not konw the exact time of their sleep or they may not told the truth to the reseachers.
Error: may Suggestion: No alternate word
Error: infromation Suggestion: information
Error: inaccruate Suggestion: inaccurate
Error: konw Suggestion: know
Error: reseachers Suggestion: researchers
Sentence: Secondly, wether the scale of the study is large enough to make this conclusion is unwarranted.
Error: wether Suggestion: No alternate word
Error: unwarranted Suggestion: No alternate word
Sentence: We could not make a general arguement without the consideration of different jobs of these people.
Error: arguement Suggestion: argument
Sentence: Finally, the recomendation of the author is not feasible for companies.
Error: recomendation Suggestion: recommendation
Sentence: In that we should admitt an assumption at first that everyone who applies for jobs would tell the real and exact sleeping time.
Error: admitt Suggestion: admit
Sentence: But this assumption is unwarrated,either.
Error: unwarrated Suggestion: unwanted
Sentence: In conclusion, the argument is not convicing as there is no obvious connections between the sleeping time of the employees and the sccess of their companies.
Error: convicing Suggestion: convincing
Error: sccess Suggestion: success
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Attribute Value Ideal
Final score: 3.0 out of 6
Category: Satisfactory Excellent
No. of Grammatical Errors: 0 2
No. of Spelling Errors: 25 2
No. of Sentences: 20 15
No. of Words: 466 350
No. of Characters: 2222 1500
No. of Different Words: 208 200
Fourth Root of Number of Words: 4.646 4.7
Average Word Length: 4.768 4.6
Word Length SD: 2.587 2.4
No. of Words greater than 5 chars: 138 100
No. of Words greater than 6 chars: 104 80
No. of Words greater than 7 chars: 78 40
No. of Words greater than 8 chars: 61 20
Use of Passive Voice (%): 0 0
Avg. Sentence Length: 23.3 21.0
Sentence Length SD: 13.142 7.5
Use of Discourse Markers (%): 0.75 0.12
Sentence-Text Coherence: 0.314 0.35
Sentence-Para Coherence: 0.523 0.50
Sentence-Sentence Coherence: 0.152 0.07
Number of Paragraphs: 5 5
Grammar and spelling errors:
Line 1, column 247, Rule ID: COMMA_PARENTHESIS_WHITESPACE
Message: Don't put a space before the full stop
Suggestion: .
...0 male and female advertising executives . It indicated that there was a kind of r...
^^
Line 1, column 580, Rule ID: SENTENCE_WHITESPACE
Message: Add a space between sentences
Suggestion: Also
...atic and there are some loopholes in it.Also, more evidence needed if the author wan...
^^^^
Line 1, column 661, Rule ID: LETS_LET[1]
Message: Did you mean 'Let's'?
Suggestion: Let's
...wants to convince us on this argurment. Lets reexamine them carefully. To begin w...
^^^^
Line 5, column 345, Rule ID: WHITESPACE_RULE
Message: Possible typo: you repeated a whitespace
Suggestion:
...ot konw the exact time of their sleep or they may not told the truth to the resea...
^^
Line 5, column 490, Rule ID: SENTENCE_FRAGMENT[1]
Message: “As” at the beginning of a sentence requires a 2nd clause. Maybe a comma, question or exclamation mark is missing, or the sentence is incomplete and should be joined with the following sentence.
...to make this conclusion is unwarranted. As maybe there would be more people taken ...
^^
Line 5, column 548, Rule ID: SENTENCE_WHITESPACE
Message: Add a space between sentences
Suggestion: Thirldy
...ld be more people taken into this study.Thirldy, the author does not tell us what kind ...
^^^^^^^
Line 7, column 234, Rule ID: COMMA_PARENTHESIS_WHITESPACE
Message: Put a space after the comma
Suggestion: , either
... time. But this assumption is unwarrated,either. In conclusion, the argument is not ...
^^^^^^^
Transition Words or Phrases used:
also, but, finally, first, firstly, if, may, second, secondly, so, still, well, while, in conclusion, kind of, as well as, to begin with, on the other hand
Attributes: Values AverageValues Percentages(Values/AverageValues)% => Comments
Performance on Part of Speech:
To be verbs : 22.0 19.6327345309 112% => OK
Auxiliary verbs: 15.0 12.9520958084 116% => OK
Conjunction : 11.0 11.1786427146 98% => OK
Relative clauses : 11.0 13.6137724551 81% => OK
Pronoun: 38.0 28.8173652695 132% => Less pronouns wanted
Preposition: 52.0 55.5748502994 94% => OK
Nominalization: 22.0 16.3942115768 134% => OK
Performance on vocabulary words:
No of characters: 2281.0 2260.96107784 101% => OK
No of words: 462.0 441.139720559 105% => OK
Chars per words: 4.93722943723 5.12650576532 96% => OK
Fourth root words length: 4.63618218583 4.56307096286 102% => OK
Word Length SD: 2.77157760159 2.78398813304 100% => OK
Unique words: 209.0 204.123752495 102% => OK
Unique words percentage: 0.452380952381 0.468620217663 97% => OK
syllable_count: 688.5 705.55239521 98% => OK
avg_syllables_per_word: 1.5 1.59920159681 94% => OK
A sentence (or a clause, phrase) starts by:
Pronoun: 5.0 4.96107784431 101% => OK
Article: 8.0 8.76447105788 91% => OK
Subordination: 3.0 2.70958083832 111% => OK
Conjunction: 3.0 1.67365269461 179% => OK
Preposition: 6.0 4.22255489022 142% => OK
Performance on sentences:
How many sentences: 20.0 19.7664670659 101% => OK
Sentence length: 23.0 22.8473053892 101% => OK
Sentence length SD: 71.416017111 57.8364921388 123% => OK
Chars per sentence: 114.05 119.503703932 95% => OK
Words per sentence: 23.1 23.324526521 99% => OK
Discourse Markers: 7.75 5.70786347227 136% => OK
Paragraphs: 5.0 5.15768463074 97% => OK
Language errors: 7.0 5.25449101796 133% => OK
Sentences with positive sentiment : 8.0 8.20758483034 97% => OK
Sentences with negative sentiment : 4.0 6.88822355289 58% => More negative sentences wanted.
Sentences with neutral sentiment: 8.0 4.67664670659 171% => OK
What are sentences with positive/Negative/neutral sentiment?
Coherence and Cohesion:
Essay topic to essay body coherence: 0.168727296365 0.218282227539 77% => OK
Sentence topic coherence: 0.0525009945957 0.0743258471296 71% => OK
Sentence topic coherence SD: 0.0840829957354 0.0701772020484 120% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence: 0.0926126810875 0.128457276422 72% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence SD: 0.0678962122838 0.0628817314937 108% => OK
Essay readability:
automated_readability_index: 13.4 14.3799401198 93% => Automated_readability_index is low.
flesch_reading_ease: 56.59 48.3550499002 117% => OK
smog_index: 3.1 7.1628742515 43% => Smog_index is low.
flesch_kincaid_grade: 11.1 12.197005988 91% => OK
coleman_liau_index: 11.67 12.5979740519 93% => OK
dale_chall_readability_score: 7.89 8.32208582834 95% => OK
difficult_words: 91.0 98.500998004 92% => OK
linsear_write_formula: 14.0 12.3882235529 113% => OK
gunning_fog: 11.2 11.1389221557 101% => OK
text_standard: 12.0 11.9071856287 101% => OK
What are above readability scores?
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Rates: 66.67 out of 100
Scores by essay e-grader: 4.0 Out of 6
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Note: the e-grader does NOT examine the meaning of words and ideas. VIP users will receive further evaluations by advanced module of e-grader and human graders.