Since there is a decline in the birthrate in the city of Calatrava, it makes sense that the budget planning committee would be inclined to cutting the public school and athletic playing field budgets. They want to then allocate the saved money to better the lives of the said growing adult population. Although the committee’s intentions are logical, there is simply not enough information present in the argument in order to back up their proposal. There are some major gaps that need to be filled in order to ensure that their budget plans will be successful.
Although the committee claims that the birthrate has decreased by half since that of five years ago, it is unsure as to where this information is coming from. The committee does not provide a reputable source stating that this information is true. The committee also does not provide evidence about how large the birthrate was five years ago. If the birthrate five years ago was a record high, it wouldn’t necessarily be a reputable source to look to when deciding budget cuts in relation to public schools for the next ten years. There would need to be a steady decrease over the past five years. Another piece of information that is missing from the argument is evidence that public school enrollment has been decreasing steadily since the enrollment five years ago. In order for this argument to be strengthened, empirical evidence is needed on the steady birthrate decrease and public school decrease over the past five years.
The budget cuts for athletic playing fields and recreational facilities is thrown into the mix. It is entirely unclear as to why these cuts are warranted. There is no mention as to who uses these fields and facilities. It would be helpful for the committee to explain the target population of the services in order to begin thinking about budget cuts for them. It would also be helpful for the committee to explain the fields and facilities connection to the public schools. If the target population of these services was explained, then the committee would be warranted to make decisions about whether or not budget cuts would be effective. This particular budget cut is very vague and requires a lot more evidence and explanation from the committee in order to be a strong argument.
Finally, the committee states that the saved money should go to the adult population. They say that the adult population will increase. First of all, there is no evidence presented as to why the adult population is going to increase. Are more adults moving to the area? This is unknown. In order for the argument to be validated, the committee should provide evidence as to why the population is growing. We don’t know why, therefore the statement is impossible to validate. Also, if the adult population is growing, this may mean that they are bringing their children along with them, therefore refuting the entire argument as a whole.
Overall, the logic of the committee is sensical, but there is simply not enough evidence to justify it. It makes sense to cut the budget of child resources if the birthrate is going down, but there are too many factors that have been overlooked. In order to strengthen the argument at hand, the committee must first provide evidence as to exactly how the child population is decreasing and how the adult population is increasing. Without this information and evidence, the entire argument is easily refuted.
- The following appeared in a letter from a homeowner to a friend."Of the two leading real estate firms in our town—Adams Realty and Fitch Realty—Adams Realty is clearly superior. Adams has 40 real estate agents; in contrast, Fitch has 25, many of whom 83
- The following appeared as a recommendation by a committee planning a ten-year budget for the city of Calatrava."The birthrate in our city is declining: in fact, last year's birthrate was only one-half that of five years ago. Thus the number of students en 63
Essay evaluation report
argument 1 -- not OK. correct arguments: maybe many families with children might move into the city, this will increase the enrollment rates.
argument 2 -- OK
argument 3 -- also need to argue: 'As a result, we will have sufficient money to fund city facilities and programs used primarily by adults'
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Attribute Value Ideal
Final score: 3.5 out of 6
Category: Satisfactory Excellent
No. of Grammatical Errors: 0 2
No. of Spelling Errors: 0 2
No. of Sentences: 30 15
No. of Words: 582 350
No. of Characters: 2793 1500
No. of Different Words: 225 200
Fourth Root of Number of Words: 4.912 4.7
Average Word Length: 4.799 4.6
Word Length SD: 2.56 2.4
No. of Words greater than 5 chars: 194 100
No. of Words greater than 6 chars: 146 80
No. of Words greater than 7 chars: 112 40
No. of Words greater than 8 chars: 69 20
Use of Passive Voice (%): 0 0
Avg. Sentence Length: 19.4 21.0
Sentence Length SD: 7.973 7.5
Use of Discourse Markers (%): 0.533 0.12
Sentence-Text Coherence: 0.292 0.35
Sentence-Para Coherence: 0.482 0.50
Sentence-Sentence Coherence: 0.121 0.07
Number of Paragraphs: 5 5
Grammar and spelling errors:
Line 2, column 1, Rule ID: WHITESPACE_RULE
Message: Possible typo: you repeated a whitespace
Suggestion:
...their budget plans will be successful. Although the committee claims that the b...
^^^
Line 4, column 1, Rule ID: WHITESPACE_RULE
Message: Possible typo: you repeated a whitespace
Suggestion:
...ol decrease over the past five years. The budget cuts for athletic playing fie...
^^^
Line 5, column 597, Rule ID: WHETHER[7]
Message: Perhaps you can shorten this phrase to just 'whether'. It is correct though if you mean 'regardless of whether'.
Suggestion: whether
...ld be warranted to make decisions about whether or not budget cuts would be effective. This pa...
^^^^^^^^^^^^^^
Line 6, column 1, Rule ID: WHITESPACE_RULE
Message: Possible typo: you repeated a whitespace
Suggestion:
...tee in order to be a strong argument. Finally, the committee states that the s...
^^^
Line 8, column 1, Rule ID: WHITESPACE_RULE
Message: Possible typo: you repeated a whitespace
Suggestion:
...uting the entire argument as a whole. Overall, the logic of the committee is s...
^^^
Transition Words or Phrases used:
also, but, finally, first, if, look, may, so, then, therefore, as to, first of all
Attributes: Values AverageValues Percentages(Values/AverageValues)% => Comments
Performance on Part of Speech:
To be verbs : 47.0 19.6327345309 239% => Less to be verbs wanted.
Auxiliary verbs: 14.0 12.9520958084 108% => OK
Conjunction : 12.0 11.1786427146 107% => OK
Relative clauses : 15.0 13.6137724551 110% => OK
Pronoun: 39.0 28.8173652695 135% => Less pronouns wanted
Preposition: 72.0 55.5748502994 130% => OK
Nominalization: 39.0 16.3942115768 238% => Less nominalizations (nouns with a suffix like: tion ment ence ance) wanted.
Performance on vocabulary words:
No of characters: 2878.0 2260.96107784 127% => OK
No of words: 580.0 441.139720559 131% => OK
Chars per words: 4.96206896552 5.12650576532 97% => OK
Fourth root words length: 4.90746259869 4.56307096286 108% => OK
Word Length SD: 2.67973191553 2.78398813304 96% => OK
Unique words: 229.0 204.123752495 112% => OK
Unique words percentage: 0.394827586207 0.468620217663 84% => More unique words wanted or less content wanted.
syllable_count: 909.0 705.55239521 129% => OK
avg_syllables_per_word: 1.6 1.59920159681 100% => OK
A sentence (or a clause, phrase) starts by:
Pronoun: 13.0 4.96107784431 262% => Less pronouns wanted as sentence beginning.
Article: 8.0 8.76447105788 91% => OK
Subordination: 6.0 2.70958083832 221% => Less adverbial clause wanted.
Conjunction: 2.0 1.67365269461 119% => OK
Preposition: 5.0 4.22255489022 118% => OK
Performance on sentences:
How many sentences: 30.0 19.7664670659 152% => OK
Sentence length: 19.0 22.8473053892 83% => The Avg. Sentence Length is relatively short.
Sentence length SD: 47.6442371471 57.8364921388 82% => OK
Chars per sentence: 95.9333333333 119.503703932 80% => OK
Words per sentence: 19.3333333333 23.324526521 83% => OK
Discourse Markers: 2.73333333333 5.70786347227 48% => More transition words/phrases wanted.
Paragraphs: 5.0 5.15768463074 97% => OK
Language errors: 5.0 5.25449101796 95% => OK
Sentences with positive sentiment : 13.0 8.20758483034 158% => OK
Sentences with negative sentiment : 12.0 6.88822355289 174% => OK
Sentences with neutral sentiment: 5.0 4.67664670659 107% => OK
What are sentences with positive/Negative/neutral sentiment?
Coherence and Cohesion:
Essay topic to essay body coherence: 0.200780880278 0.218282227539 92% => OK
Sentence topic coherence: 0.0552662872971 0.0743258471296 74% => OK
Sentence topic coherence SD: 0.0684751501127 0.0701772020484 98% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence: 0.108290045691 0.128457276422 84% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence SD: 0.0784276219447 0.0628817314937 125% => OK
Essay readability:
automated_readability_index: 11.6 14.3799401198 81% => Automated_readability_index is low.
flesch_reading_ease: 52.19 48.3550499002 108% => OK
smog_index: 8.8 7.1628742515 123% => OK
flesch_kincaid_grade: 10.7 12.197005988 88% => OK
coleman_liau_index: 11.49 12.5979740519 91% => OK
dale_chall_readability_score: 7.38 8.32208582834 89% => OK
difficult_words: 103.0 98.500998004 105% => OK
linsear_write_formula: 11.0 12.3882235529 89% => OK
gunning_fog: 9.6 11.1389221557 86% => OK
text_standard: 11.0 11.9071856287 92% => OK
What are above readability scores?
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Rates: 50.0 out of 100
Scores by essay e-grader: 3.0 Out of 6
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Note: the e-grader does NOT examine the meaning of words and ideas. VIP users will receive further evaluations by advanced module of e-grader and human graders.