The following appeared as a recommendation by a committee planning a ten-year budget for the city of Calatrava.
"The birthrate in our city is declining: in fact, last year's birthrate was only one-half that of five years ago. Thus the number of students enrolled in our public schools will soon decrease dramatically, and we can safely reduce the funds budgeted for education during the next decade. At the same time, we can reduce funding for athletic playing fields and other recreational facilities. As a result, we will have sufficient money to fund city facilities and programs used primarily by adults, since we can expect the adult population of the city to increase."
Write a response in which you discuss what specific evidence is needed to evaluate the argument and explain how the evidence would weaken or strengthen the argument.
In the given recommendation by planning committee said about decrease in birth rate which was only one-half than five years ago. The committee wants to cut the fund from school education, athletic playing filed and from recreational facilities. The argument made by committee planning for ten years budget for the city of Calatrava seems to be impractical and short-sighted.
First of all, the planning committee is wrongly assumes that the birth rate will again decrease in next five years or the decline will be constant for ten years. There is no evidence of the population survey or governments population census which show decrease in birth rate. The sudden decline in the population is true then there are different reasons brain stormed in my mind. One of them is epidemic in the city and it is major why low birth rate. Without thinking about reason for down fall the committee take decision to reduce the fund from education of the students is anyways not appropriate. Education is backbone of any city or country to accelerate the development. A family also tries to spend more on education of the children and for it parents take backhand from other expenses. If we accept for a while that the birth rate will be decline even then the extra fund allotted to education can use for innovation. Today’s developing countries spend money for research on education system and make it strong. Planning committee should not cut the fund for education system and plan to spend in systematic way.
Additionally, the committee also thinks to reduce funding for athletic playing fields and recreational facilities which is also inoperable. Athletics is a game for which player has to practice from childhood to win Olympics. The city has to promote athletic games and motivate the children to join athletic clubs. Every child should have practice athletic games in routine so that they become physically as well as mentally healthy. Children are the future of country and in every country government tries to give largest benefits to population belong to childhood age. So the recommendation made by planning committee should review before implementation.
Moreover, the committee focused on the adult population and plan to spend fund on programs used primarily by adults. Their parents in adult population and they have responsibility of their children. To spend on the adults programs and degrade the fund from child education is not make adults happy. Because everyone their child and want to nourish with every possibility. Committee should work on practical tasks like basic living need of the population then work on programs for adults. The basic facilities should reach to all so that the city gets developed.
Finally, on the basis of reasons discussed above clearly mention that the committee should not take decision of transferring the fund from education to other accounts.
Comments
Essay evaluation report
Attribute Value Ideal
Final score: ??? out of 6
Category: Poor Excellent
No. of Grammatical Errors: 0 2
No. of Spelling Errors: 0 2
No. of Sentences: 26 15
No. of Words: 472 350
No. of Characters: 2380 1500
No. of Different Words: 220 200
Fourth Root of Number of Words: 4.661 4.7
Average Word Length: 5.042 4.6
Word Length SD: 2.691 2.4
No. of Words greater than 5 chars: 166 100
No. of Words greater than 6 chars: 134 80
No. of Words greater than 7 chars: 104 40
No. of Words greater than 8 chars: 61 20
Use of Passive Voice (%): 0 0
Avg. Sentence Length: 18.154 21.0
Sentence Length SD: 4.605 7.5
Use of Discourse Markers (%): 0.423 0.12
Sentence-Text Coherence: 0.289 0.35
Sentence-Para Coherence: 0.466 0.50
Sentence-Sentence Coherence: 0.086 0.07
Number of Paragraphs: 5 5
Grammar and spelling errors:
Line 5, column 510, Rule ID: THE_SUPERLATIVE[2]
Message: A determiner is probably missing here: 'give the largest'.
Suggestion: give the largest
...nd in every country government tries to give largest benefits to population belong to childh...
^^^^^^^^^^^^
Transition Words or Phrases used:
also, anyway, finally, first, if, moreover, so, then, well, while, as to, as well as, first of all
Attributes: Values AverageValues Percentages(Values/AverageValues)% => Comments
Performance on Part of Speech:
To be verbs : 16.0 19.6327345309 81% => OK
Auxiliary verbs: 11.0 12.9520958084 85% => OK
Conjunction : 16.0 11.1786427146 143% => OK
Relative clauses : 9.0 13.6137724551 66% => More relative clauses wanted.
Pronoun: 16.0 28.8173652695 56% => OK
Preposition: 70.0 55.5748502994 126% => OK
Nominalization: 25.0 16.3942115768 152% => OK
Performance on vocabulary words:
No of characters: 2432.0 2260.96107784 108% => OK
No of words: 472.0 441.139720559 107% => OK
Chars per words: 5.15254237288 5.12650576532 101% => OK
Fourth root words length: 4.6610686524 4.56307096286 102% => OK
Word Length SD: 2.77754156486 2.78398813304 100% => OK
Unique words: 215.0 204.123752495 105% => OK
Unique words percentage: 0.455508474576 0.468620217663 97% => OK
syllable_count: 760.5 705.55239521 108% => OK
avg_syllables_per_word: 1.6 1.59920159681 100% => OK
A sentence (or a clause, phrase) starts by:
Pronoun: 1.0 4.96107784431 20% => OK
Article: 9.0 8.76447105788 103% => OK
Subordination: 2.0 2.70958083832 74% => OK
Conjunction: 0.0 1.67365269461 0% => OK
Preposition: 4.0 4.22255489022 95% => OK
Performance on sentences:
How many sentences: 26.0 19.7664670659 132% => OK
Sentence length: 18.0 22.8473053892 79% => The Avg. Sentence Length is relatively short.
Sentence length SD: 26.8957003669 57.8364921388 47% => The essay contains lots of sentences with the similar length. More sentence varieties wanted.
Chars per sentence: 93.5384615385 119.503703932 78% => OK
Words per sentence: 18.1538461538 23.324526521 78% => OK
Discourse Markers: 3.76923076923 5.70786347227 66% => OK
Paragraphs: 5.0 5.15768463074 97% => OK
Language errors: 1.0 5.25449101796 19% => OK
Sentences with positive sentiment : 14.0 8.20758483034 171% => OK
Sentences with negative sentiment : 5.0 6.88822355289 73% => OK
Sentences with neutral sentiment: 7.0 4.67664670659 150% => OK
What are sentences with positive/Negative/neutral sentiment?
Coherence and Cohesion:
Essay topic to essay body coherence: 0.192736329072 0.218282227539 88% => OK
Sentence topic coherence: 0.058191973546 0.0743258471296 78% => OK
Sentence topic coherence SD: 0.0789438237018 0.0701772020484 112% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence: 0.122892698416 0.128457276422 96% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence SD: 0.121492549316 0.0628817314937 193% => OK
Essay readability:
automated_readability_index: 11.9 14.3799401198 83% => Automated_readability_index is low.
flesch_reading_ease: 53.21 48.3550499002 110% => OK
smog_index: 8.8 7.1628742515 123% => OK
flesch_kincaid_grade: 10.3 12.197005988 84% => OK
coleman_liau_index: 12.29 12.5979740519 98% => OK
dale_chall_readability_score: 7.77 8.32208582834 93% => OK
difficult_words: 97.0 98.500998004 98% => OK
linsear_write_formula: 11.5 12.3882235529 93% => OK
gunning_fog: 9.2 11.1389221557 83% => OK
text_standard: 12.0 11.9071856287 101% => OK
What are above readability scores?
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Rates: 50.0 out of 100
Scores by essay e-grader: 3.0 Out of 6
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Note: the e-grader does NOT examine the meaning of words and ideas. VIP users will receive further evaluations by advanced module of e-grader and human graders.