The following appeared as a recommendation by a committee planning a ten-year budget for the city of Calatrava."The birthrate in our city is declining: in fact, last year's birthrate was only one-half that of five years ago. Thus the number of s

Essay topics:

The following appeared as a recommendation by a committee planning a ten-year budget for the city of Calatrava.

"The birthrate in our city is declining: in fact, last year's birthrate was only one-half that of five years ago. Thus the number of students enrolled in our public schools will soon decrease dramatically, and we can safely reduce the funds budgeted for education during the next decade. At the same time, we can reduce funding for athletic playing fields and other recreational facilities. As a result, we will have sufficient money to fund city facilities and programs used primarily by adults, since we can expect the adult population of the city to increase."

Write a response in which you discuss what specific evidence is needed to evaluate the argument and explain how the evidence would weaken or strengthen the argument.

In the recommendation from the planning committee. It is stated that the city of Calatrava will have sufficient money to fund facilities and programs used primarily by adults. The committee has come to this conclusion based on the evidence of the decline in the birthrate which will result in the decrease in the number of students enrolled in primary and budget allocated for the schools including the various recreational facilities. However, before this recommendation can be properly evaluated, three pieces of evidence must be ascertained.

First of all, the committee is assuming that the birth rate has a causal effect on the number of students enrolled in school. The implication of this is that if the birth rate should decrease then it is necessary that student enrollment will surely reduce. It is possible that due to the financial status of the parents, they cannot afford to send their children to school and not necessarily that they won’t even still give birth in the future. Further, it may also be that parents now give preference to private schools to provide quality education to their children. If this is true then the assumption by the committee does not hold water.

Secondly, public schools taking a considerable portion of the education budget. This assumption by the committee is flawed because different sub-divisions exist within the education sector with each having a particular allocation in the yearly budget. For instance, the national examination bodies saddle with the responsibility of setting examination for school have a specific budget and they might even be getting more than what is allocated to public schools to run their affairs.

Thirdly, the committee prematurely surmises that funding city projects will result in an increase in the population of the adult. These projects are community projects and they are meant to benefit both young and old. However, because these city facilities are mostly used by the adult does not necessitate this position. For example, a cinema built in the city centre can both be visited by young and adult, infant the young one has more affinity to go watch movies and relax with a friend. Also, recreation facilities can be used by both the young and adult to keep a good body shape and a healthy lifestyle.

In conclusion, the argument as it stands now is considerably weakened due to its reliance on several unstated assumptions. If the committee is able to provide enough evidence to strengthen her position then it will be possible to fully evaluate the viability of the proposed recommendation that the city of Calatrava will have sufficient money to fund facilities and programs used primarily by adults with the decline primarily in the birth rate.

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Comments

Grammar and spelling errors:
Line 1, column 546, Rule ID: WHITESPACE_RULE
Message: Possible typo: you repeated a whitespace
Suggestion:
...pieces of evidence must be ascertained. First of all, the committee is assuming ...
^^^^^^^
Line 5, column 576, Rule ID: SENTENCE_FRAGMENT[1]
Message: “If” at the beginning of a sentence requires a 2nd clause. Maybe a comma, question or exclamation mark is missing, or the sentence is incomplete and should be joined with the following sentence.
...de quality education to their children. If this is true then the assumption by the...
^^

Transition Words or Phrases used:
also, first, however, if, may, second, secondly, so, still, then, third, thirdly, for example, for instance, in conclusion, first of all

Attributes: Values AverageValues Percentages(Values/AverageValues)% => Comments

Performance on Part of Speech:
To be verbs : 20.0 19.6327345309 102% => OK
Auxiliary verbs: 14.0 12.9520958084 108% => OK
Conjunction : 11.0 11.1786427146 98% => OK
Relative clauses : 10.0 13.6137724551 73% => More relative clauses wanted.
Pronoun: 32.0 28.8173652695 111% => OK
Preposition: 61.0 55.5748502994 110% => OK
Nominalization: 25.0 16.3942115768 152% => OK

Performance on vocabulary words:
No of characters: 2312.0 2260.96107784 102% => OK
No of words: 449.0 441.139720559 102% => OK
Chars per words: 5.14922048998 5.12650576532 100% => OK
Fourth root words length: 4.60321845022 4.56307096286 101% => OK
Word Length SD: 2.83977553299 2.78398813304 102% => OK
Unique words: 213.0 204.123752495 104% => OK
Unique words percentage: 0.47438752784 0.468620217663 101% => OK
syllable_count: 734.4 705.55239521 104% => OK
avg_syllables_per_word: 1.6 1.59920159681 100% => OK

A sentence (or a clause, phrase) starts by:
Pronoun: 6.0 4.96107784431 121% => OK
Article: 7.0 8.76447105788 80% => OK
Subordination: 4.0 2.70958083832 148% => OK
Conjunction: 0.0 1.67365269461 0% => OK
Preposition: 3.0 4.22255489022 71% => OK

Performance on sentences:
How many sentences: 19.0 19.7664670659 96% => OK
Sentence length: 23.0 22.8473053892 101% => OK
Sentence length SD: 66.435147391 57.8364921388 115% => OK
Chars per sentence: 121.684210526 119.503703932 102% => OK
Words per sentence: 23.6315789474 23.324526521 101% => OK
Discourse Markers: 7.15789473684 5.70786347227 125% => OK
Paragraphs: 5.0 5.15768463074 97% => OK
Language errors: 2.0 5.25449101796 38% => OK
Sentences with positive sentiment : 9.0 8.20758483034 110% => OK
Sentences with negative sentiment : 1.0 6.88822355289 15% => More negative sentences wanted.
Sentences with neutral sentiment: 9.0 4.67664670659 192% => OK
What are sentences with positive/Negative/neutral sentiment?

Coherence and Cohesion:
Essay topic to essay body coherence: 0.135564599867 0.218282227539 62% => OK
Sentence topic coherence: 0.0418555334021 0.0743258471296 56% => OK
Sentence topic coherence SD: 0.0361498511739 0.0701772020484 52% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence: 0.0754768540404 0.128457276422 59% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence SD: 0.0369557304755 0.0628817314937 59% => OK

Essay readability:
automated_readability_index: 14.6 14.3799401198 102% => OK
flesch_reading_ease: 48.13 48.3550499002 100% => OK
smog_index: 11.2 7.1628742515 156% => OK
flesch_kincaid_grade: 12.3 12.197005988 101% => OK
coleman_liau_index: 12.89 12.5979740519 102% => OK
dale_chall_readability_score: 8.68 8.32208582834 104% => OK
difficult_words: 111.0 98.500998004 113% => OK
linsear_write_formula: 12.0 12.3882235529 97% => OK
gunning_fog: 11.2 11.1389221557 101% => OK
text_standard: 12.0 11.9071856287 101% => OK
What are above readability scores?

---------------------

Rates: 66.67 out of 100
Scores by essay e-grader: 4.0 Out of 6
---------------------
Note: the e-grader does NOT examine the meaning of words and ideas. VIP users will receive further evaluations by advanced module of e-grader and human graders.

Attribute Value Ideal
Final score: 3.5 out of 6
Category: Satisfactory Excellent
No. of Grammatical Errors: 0 2
No. of Spelling Errors: 0 2
No. of Sentences: 19 15
No. of Words: 450 350
No. of Characters: 2253 1500
No. of Different Words: 207 200
Fourth Root of Number of Words: 4.606 4.7
Average Word Length: 5.007 4.6
Word Length SD: 2.769 2.4
No. of Words greater than 5 chars: 170 100
No. of Words greater than 6 chars: 127 80
No. of Words greater than 7 chars: 96 40
No. of Words greater than 8 chars: 60 20
Use of Passive Voice (%): 0 0
Avg. Sentence Length: 23.684 21.0
Sentence Length SD: 11.225 7.5
Use of Discourse Markers (%): 0.737 0.12
Sentence-Text Coherence: 0.303 0.35
Sentence-Para Coherence: 0.54 0.50
Sentence-Sentence Coherence: 0.06 0.07
Number of Paragraphs: 5 5