The following appeared as a recommendation by a committee planning a tenyear budget for the city of Calatrava. "The birthrate in our city is declining: in fact, last year's birthrate was only onehalf that of five years ago. Thus the number of students enrolled in our public schools will soon decrease dramatically, and we can safely reduce the funds budgeted for education during the next decade. At the same time, we can reduce funding for athletic playing fields and other recreational facilities. As a result, we will have sufficient money to fund city facilities and programs used primarily by adults, since we can expect the adult population of the city to increase."
Write a response in which you discuss what specific evidence is needed to evaluate the argument and explain how the evidence would weaken or strengthen the argument.
The planning committee predicts increase in adult population in the calatrava city and thus suggests allocation of extra budget for adult facilities and programs by cutting the budget allocated to the education and children recreational facilities. The argument of the committee is presumptuous and makes sweeping conclusion even when there is lack of evidence to come to any solid conclusion.
To begin with, the committee cites the declining birth rate of the calatrava city and thus concludes that number of students enrolling to schools will decrease dramatically in next ten years. it is completely wrong on part of committee to consider that the trend of decline in birth rate will continuously follow for upcoming ten years. The committe should provide insightful scientific data that reports the population of the calatrava city for atleast next ten years. it may happen that from next year, the birth of the city starts increasing and consequently more number of students need education facilities than before. In such scenario, if budget of the education is reduced, education system in the city will collapse and create a chaos for students. also, the committee has completely overlooked many of the external factors like migration while coming to a conclusion. hence, committee should provide information as such about the current influx rate of migration to the city and also provide information whether this rate is increasing or decreasing. hence, without such evidence, any conclusion about future enrollment in schools of city is flawed.
next, the committee also suggests that the funding for athletic activities and other recreational activites should be reduced due to expected decline in number of students enrolled to school and instead diverted to make adult facilities. First of all, it is not clear whether students enrollment to school will decrease or not, and thus to base any conclusion upon this faulty premise is a big mistake and thus makes argument flawed.
At last the committee predicts that adult population in the city will increase. this claim is not backed by any evidence. The committee must provide stastics reporting total number of adult population predicted for next ten years. But the evidence that it must furnish must contain population of adults acoording to age groups. For it is possible that the committees’ plan to increase funding for adult facilities will only be useful if most of the adults are old. because, if most of the adults are middle aged it is quite possible that they will have children in near future and thus number of students enrolling to schools will automatically go up and more funding for education will be needed.
hence, in conclusion, the committee must provide warranted data predicting future birth rate of city for at least ten years, expected influx migration population in next ten years, and projected population of adults as per their age group for atleast next ten years. because, without these supporting evidence as of now, the argument of the committee if flawed and not persuasive.
| Post date | Users | Rates | Link to Content |
|---|---|---|---|
| 2020-01-03 | Aswinichowdary | 69 | view |
Comments
Essay evaluation report
Attribute Value Ideal
Final score: 4.0 out of 6
Category: Good Excellent
No. of Grammatical Errors: 0 2
No. of Spelling Errors: 0 2
No. of Sentences: 13 15
No. of Words: 496 350
No. of Characters: 2532 1500
No. of Different Words: 196 200
Fourth Root of Number of Words: 4.719 4.7
Average Word Length: 5.105 4.6
Word Length SD: 2.706 2.4
No. of Words greater than 5 chars: 188 100
No. of Words greater than 6 chars: 150 80
No. of Words greater than 7 chars: 118 40
No. of Words greater than 8 chars: 76 20
Use of Passive Voice (%): 0 0
Avg. Sentence Length: 38.154 21.0
Sentence Length SD: 20.825 7.5
Use of Discourse Markers (%): 0.692 0.12
Sentence-Text Coherence: 0.411 0.35
Sentence-Para Coherence: 0.635 0.50
Sentence-Sentence Coherence: 0.097 0.07
Number of Paragraphs: 5 5
Grammar and spelling errors:
Line 3, column 193, Rule ID: UPPERCASE_SENTENCE_START
Message: This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
Suggestion: It
...ecrease dramatically in next ten years. it is completely wrong on part of committe...
^^
Line 3, column 471, Rule ID: UPPERCASE_SENTENCE_START
Message: This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
Suggestion: It
...atrava city for atleast next ten years. it may happen that from next year, the bir...
^^
Line 3, column 759, Rule ID: UPPERCASE_SENTENCE_START
Message: This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
Suggestion: Also
...llapse and create a chaos for students. also, the committee has completely overlooke...
^^^^
Line 3, column 879, Rule ID: UPPERCASE_SENTENCE_START
Message: This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
Suggestion: Hence
...migration while coming to a conclusion. hence, committee should provide information a...
^^^^^
Line 3, column 1062, Rule ID: UPPERCASE_SENTENCE_START
Message: This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
Suggestion: Hence
... this rate is increasing or decreasing. hence, without such evidence, any conclusion ...
^^^^^
Line 5, column 1, Rule ID: UPPERCASE_SENTENCE_START
Message: This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
Suggestion: Next
...ollment in schools of city is flawed. next, the committee also suggests that the f...
^^^^
Line 7, column 81, Rule ID: UPPERCASE_SENTENCE_START
Message: This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
Suggestion: This
...t population in the city will increase. this claim is not backed by any evidence. Th...
^^^^
Line 7, column 471, Rule ID: UPPERCASE_SENTENCE_START
Message: This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
Suggestion: Because
...e useful if most of the adults are old. because, if most of the adults are middle aged ...
^^^^^^^
Line 9, column 1, Rule ID: UPPERCASE_SENTENCE_START
Message: This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
Suggestion: Hence
...funding for education will be needed. hence, in conclusion, the committee must prov...
^^^^^
Line 9, column 268, Rule ID: UPPERCASE_SENTENCE_START
Message: This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
Suggestion: Because
...r age group for atleast next ten years. because, without these supporting evidence as o...
^^^^^^^
Transition Words or Phrases used:
also, but, consequently, first, hence, if, look, may, so, thus, while, at least, in conclusion, first of all, to begin with
Attributes: Values AverageValues Percentages(Values/AverageValues)% => Comments
Performance on Part of Speech:
To be verbs : 16.0 19.6327345309 81% => OK
Auxiliary verbs: 18.0 12.9520958084 139% => OK
Conjunction : 19.0 11.1786427146 170% => OK
Relative clauses : 10.0 13.6137724551 73% => More relative clauses wanted.
Pronoun: 21.0 28.8173652695 73% => OK
Preposition: 69.0 55.5748502994 124% => OK
Nominalization: 28.0 16.3942115768 171% => OK
Performance on vocabulary words:
No of characters: 2591.0 2260.96107784 115% => OK
No of words: 496.0 441.139720559 112% => OK
Chars per words: 5.22379032258 5.12650576532 102% => OK
Fourth root words length: 4.71922212354 4.56307096286 103% => OK
Word Length SD: 2.78656749007 2.78398813304 100% => OK
Unique words: 204.0 204.123752495 100% => OK
Unique words percentage: 0.411290322581 0.468620217663 88% => More unique words wanted or less content wanted.
syllable_count: 811.8 705.55239521 115% => OK
avg_syllables_per_word: 1.6 1.59920159681 100% => OK
A sentence (or a clause, phrase) starts by:
Pronoun: 4.0 4.96107784431 81% => OK
Article: 10.0 8.76447105788 114% => OK
Subordination: 2.0 2.70958083832 74% => OK
Conjunction: 3.0 1.67365269461 179% => OK
Preposition: 6.0 4.22255489022 142% => OK
Performance on sentences:
How many sentences: 20.0 19.7664670659 101% => OK
Sentence length: 24.0 22.8473053892 105% => OK
Sentence length SD: 58.907045419 57.8364921388 102% => OK
Chars per sentence: 129.55 119.503703932 108% => OK
Words per sentence: 24.8 23.324526521 106% => OK
Discourse Markers: 6.15 5.70786347227 108% => OK
Paragraphs: 5.0 5.15768463074 97% => OK
Language errors: 10.0 5.25449101796 190% => OK
Sentences with positive sentiment : 9.0 8.20758483034 110% => OK
Sentences with negative sentiment : 6.0 6.88822355289 87% => OK
Sentences with neutral sentiment: 5.0 4.67664670659 107% => OK
What are sentences with positive/Negative/neutral sentiment?
Coherence and Cohesion:
Essay topic to essay body coherence: 0.182252981928 0.218282227539 83% => OK
Sentence topic coherence: 0.0666276900521 0.0743258471296 90% => OK
Sentence topic coherence SD: 0.0433745277144 0.0701772020484 62% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence: 0.110637058178 0.128457276422 86% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence SD: 0.0448015303441 0.0628817314937 71% => OK
Essay readability:
automated_readability_index: 15.6 14.3799401198 108% => OK
flesch_reading_ease: 47.12 48.3550499002 97% => OK
smog_index: 8.8 7.1628742515 123% => OK
flesch_kincaid_grade: 12.7 12.197005988 104% => OK
coleman_liau_index: 13.29 12.5979740519 105% => OK
dale_chall_readability_score: 7.91 8.32208582834 95% => OK
difficult_words: 97.0 98.500998004 98% => OK
linsear_write_formula: 15.5 12.3882235529 125% => OK
gunning_fog: 11.6 11.1389221557 104% => OK
text_standard: 16.0 11.9071856287 134% => OK
What are above readability scores?
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Rates: 66.67 out of 100
Scores by essay e-grader: 4.0 Out of 6
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Note: the e-grader does NOT examine the meaning of words and ideas. VIP users will receive further evaluations by advanced module of e-grader and human graders.