The argument claims that the company should assign a scientist to be manager of the purchasing department as the revenue of the company is falling. This factor according to the author is caused by delays in manufacturing. While detains are triggered by poor planning in purchasing metal which in turn might be related with absence of knowledge of manager in the properties of metal. Therefore, the argument is rather weak, unconvincing, and has several flaws.
First of all, the author makes allegation when correspond the falling of revenue and delays in manufacturing. In order to trace the pattern it should be given analyses or example to confirm this suggestion made by author. What if there are other reasons why revenue is falling and factors which influence on this decrease. It is good known from business analysis which aspects can trigger the drop of income. For example, what if consumers concern of quality of product or consider that the prices are costly and as a result many clients are turning to its competitors. The argument could have been much clear if the author had provided an analysis of dependence revenue of delays in manufacturing.
Second, the memo states that the delays in manufacturing are related with poor planning in purchasing metal. However, the author doesn’t explain why lack of planning influence on detains, which factor witnesses about this suggestion? Furthermore, this issue might be the result of declining market conditions or problems in logistics of the delivery. If the argument had allowed more detail factors of coincidence of poor planning and delays in manufacturing then it would have been a lot more convincing.
Finally, the idea that a scientist who change the manager of the purchasing department can modifier the circumstances for the better way cannot be considered as panacea. To put it another way if to compare a competences of manager of purchasing department and scientist, it cannot be denied that the manager posses more knowledge in business than scientist. While manager has to acquire lore in one sphere (the properties of metal) the scientist must be taught in three which is key factors in sphere of purchasing. Consequently to assign a scientist for the position of manager might cause of addition issue for company.
In conclusion, the argument is weak because of above mentioned reasons and is therefore flawed. It could be considerably strengthened if author mentioned all of the relevant facts. In order to estimate the validity of an argument it is essential to have full knowledge of all the contributing factors. Without this information, the argument is un-substantiated and open to debate.
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Essay evaluation report
Attribute Value Ideal
Final score: 4.5 out of 6
Category: Good Excellent
No. of Grammatical Errors: 0 2
No. of Spelling Errors: 0 2
No. of Sentences: 22 15
No. of Words: 436 350
No. of Characters: 2195 1500
No. of Different Words: 195 200
Fourth Root of Number of Words: 4.57 4.7
Average Word Length: 5.034 4.6
Word Length SD: 2.879 2.4
No. of Words greater than 5 chars: 176 100
No. of Words greater than 6 chars: 136 80
No. of Words greater than 7 chars: 86 40
No. of Words greater than 8 chars: 59 20
Use of Passive Voice (%): 0 0
Avg. Sentence Length: 19.818 21.0
Sentence Length SD: 5.936 7.5
Use of Discourse Markers (%): 0.727 0.12
Sentence-Text Coherence: 0.295 0.35
Sentence-Para Coherence: 0.295 0.50
Sentence-Sentence Coherence: 0.045 0.07
Number of Paragraphs: 1 5
Grammar and spelling errors:
Line 1, column 223, Rule ID: SENTENCE_FRAGMENT[1]
Message: “While” at the beginning of a sentence requires a 2nd clause. Maybe a comma, question or exclamation mark is missing, or the sentence is incomplete and should be joined with the following sentence.
...r is caused by delays in manufacturing. While detains are triggered by poor planning...
^^^^^^
Line 1, column 237, Rule ID: WHITESPACE_RULE
Message: Possible typo: you repeated a whitespace
Suggestion:
... delays in manufacturing. While detains are triggered by poor planning in purcha...
^^
Line 1, column 357, Rule ID: WHITESPACE_RULE
Message: Possible typo: you repeated a whitespace
Suggestion:
...ted with absence of knowledge of manager in the properties of metal. Therefore, t...
^^
Line 4, column 206, Rule ID: A_PLURAL[1]
Message: Don't use indefinite articles with plural words. Did you mean 'a competence' or simply 'competences'?
Suggestion: a competence; competences
...ea. To put it another way if to compare a competences of manager of purchasing department and...
^^^^^^^^^^^^^
Line 4, column 358, Rule ID: SENTENCE_FRAGMENT[1]
Message: “While” at the beginning of a sentence requires a 2nd clause. Maybe a comma, question or exclamation mark is missing, or the sentence is incomplete and should be joined with the following sentence.
...e knowledge in business than scientist. While manager has to acquire lore in one sphe...
^^^^^
Line 4, column 514, Rule ID: SENT_START_CONJUNCTIVE_LINKING_ADVERB_COMMA[1]
Message: Did you forget a comma after a conjunctive/linking adverb?
Suggestion: Consequently,
...is key factors in sphere of purchasing. Consequently to assign a scientist for the position ...
^^^^^^^^^^^^
Line 5, column 155, Rule ID: ALL_OF_THE[1]
Message: Simply use 'all the'.
Suggestion: all the
...erably strengthened if author mentioned all of the relevant facts. In order to estimate th...
^^^^^^^^^^
Transition Words or Phrases used:
but, consequently, finally, first, furthermore, however, if, second, so, then, therefore, while, as to, for example, in conclusion, as a result, first of all
Attributes: Values AverageValues Percentages(Values/AverageValues)% => Comments
Performance on Part of Speech:
To be verbs : 25.0 19.6327345309 127% => OK
Auxiliary verbs: 13.0 12.9520958084 100% => OK
Conjunction : 11.0 11.1786427146 98% => OK
Relative clauses : 12.0 13.6137724551 88% => OK
Pronoun: 19.0 28.8173652695 66% => OK
Preposition: 68.0 55.5748502994 122% => OK
Nominalization: 21.0 16.3942115768 128% => OK
Performance on vocabulary words:
No of characters: 2246.0 2260.96107784 99% => OK
No of words: 435.0 441.139720559 99% => OK
Chars per words: 5.1632183908 5.12650576532 101% => OK
Fourth root words length: 4.56690854021 4.56307096286 100% => OK
Word Length SD: 2.98827054777 2.78398813304 107% => OK
Unique words: 200.0 204.123752495 98% => OK
Unique words percentage: 0.459770114943 0.468620217663 98% => OK
syllable_count: 706.5 705.55239521 100% => OK
avg_syllables_per_word: 1.6 1.59920159681 100% => OK
A sentence (or a clause, phrase) starts by:
Pronoun: 5.0 4.96107784431 101% => OK
Article: 9.0 8.76447105788 103% => OK
Subordination: 3.0 2.70958083832 111% => OK
Conjunction: 1.0 1.67365269461 60% => OK
Preposition: 5.0 4.22255489022 118% => OK
Performance on sentences:
How many sentences: 22.0 19.7664670659 111% => OK
Sentence length: 19.0 22.8473053892 83% => The Avg. Sentence Length is relatively short.
Sentence length SD: 32.7146756059 57.8364921388 57% => The essay contains lots of sentences with the similar length. More sentence varieties wanted.
Chars per sentence: 102.090909091 119.503703932 85% => OK
Words per sentence: 19.7727272727 23.324526521 85% => OK
Discourse Markers: 7.13636363636 5.70786347227 125% => OK
Paragraphs: 5.0 5.15768463074 97% => OK
Language errors: 7.0 5.25449101796 133% => OK
Sentences with positive sentiment : 5.0 8.20758483034 61% => OK
Sentences with negative sentiment : 13.0 6.88822355289 189% => OK
Sentences with neutral sentiment: 4.0 4.67664670659 86% => OK
What are sentences with positive/Negative/neutral sentiment?
Coherence and Cohesion:
Essay topic to essay body coherence: 0.144186840592 0.218282227539 66% => OK
Sentence topic coherence: 0.0452851363569 0.0743258471296 61% => OK
Sentence topic coherence SD: 0.0518549721627 0.0701772020484 74% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence: 0.0799861111736 0.128457276422 62% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence SD: 0.0488171048934 0.0628817314937 78% => OK
Essay readability:
automated_readability_index: 12.8 14.3799401198 89% => Automated_readability_index is low.
flesch_reading_ease: 52.19 48.3550499002 108% => OK
smog_index: 3.1 7.1628742515 43% => Smog_index is low.
flesch_kincaid_grade: 10.7 12.197005988 88% => OK
coleman_liau_index: 12.65 12.5979740519 100% => OK
dale_chall_readability_score: 8.39 8.32208582834 101% => OK
difficult_words: 105.0 98.500998004 107% => OK
linsear_write_formula: 8.0 12.3882235529 65% => OK
gunning_fog: 9.6 11.1389221557 86% => OK
text_standard: 13.0 11.9071856287 109% => OK
What are above readability scores?
---------------------
Rates: 58.33 out of 100
Scores by essay e-grader: 3.5 Out of 6
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Note: the e-grader does NOT examine the meaning of words and ideas. VIP users will receive further evaluations by advanced module of e-grader and human graders.