The following letter is from a group of Linford College alumni to the chair of the art department at the college.
"In a recent survey of college graduates, 90 percent agreed that participating in an internship increased their chances of finding a job after graduation, but last year, only 40 percent of Linford's graduating art students had completed an internship. Skyway Designs, located in nearby Linford City, is the perfect company for students to intern with for a number of reasons: They offer internships in all of their departments, so every student is sure to find work that they are interested in. Additionally, their internships offer flexible working hours. Finally, Skyway Designs is known for being one of the best in the design business, as over 80 percent of businesses in Linford City have used the services of Skyway Designs for their design needs. Given the vital role that work experience plays in a student's success after graduation, we recommend that our art department require all art students to complete an internship with Skyway Designs before graduation."
Write a response in which you discuss what questions would need to be answered in order to decide whether the recommendation and the argument on which it is based are reasonable. Be sure to explain how the answers to these questions would help to evaluate the recommendation.
While a reasonable person would agree that gaining real world work experience by completing an internship will be conductive in securing a job in the future. Unfortunately, the recommendation made by Lindford college forcing its art students to complete an internship as a requirement to graduate is an argument rife with inaccuracies and holes that make it weak. In order sway students to accept this recommendation the chair of the art department must answer these following questions to defend his or her assumption.
To begin with, the survey of college students does not elucidate a representative sample of surveyees. The chairman claims that 90% or those who were questioned agreed that internships increased their chances of finding a job after graduation, but only 40% of art students completed an internship. Out of those 90% who concurred with the recommendation how many were art majors? This is an important question because other majors such as pre-med students might find it more relevant to their field than the forementioned art major in which case would make the survey invalid as evidence that art students are in agreement with the recommendation.
Furthermore, the chairman makes a bold statement that Skyway Designs has myriad of openings in various depts, thus, ensuring that every student will find a job they love. However, this opinion is too vague without any evidence to support it, so the following question should be answered. What is the employee turnover rate? Can the chairman cite employee satisfaction surveys that represent high employee satisfaction?
Lastly, the chairman or the art department declares that Skyway Designs in one of the best companies in Linford City because 80% of business have used their business at one point. The first question that must be answered is 80% of what number? This could be a relative question that can delude students’ perception of success. Additionally what was their retention rate, have customers left due to bad quality of work? Being transparent with their clients’ ratings or reviews will support this claim.
All in all, it is a reasonable argument that internships boost the chances of securing a job after graduation. However, in order to persuade students to join this recommendation the proposed question must be answered. Otherwise, this argument is filled with holes and assumptions that weaken its efforts to push an internship as a requirement for graduation among art students.
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Comments
Essay evaluations by e-grader
Grammar and spelling errors:
Line 1, column 1, Rule ID: SENTENCE_FRAGMENT[1]
Message: “While” at the beginning of a sentence requires a 2nd clause. Maybe a comma, question or exclamation mark is missing, or the sentence is incomplete and should be joined with the following sentence.
While a reasonable person would agree that ga...
^^^^^
Line 2, column 363, Rule ID: WERE_VBB[1]
Message: Did you mean 'where' or 'we'?
Suggestion: where; we
...curred with the recommendation how many were art majors? This is an important questi...
^^^^
Line 4, column 327, Rule ID: SENT_START_CONJUNCTIVE_LINKING_ADVERB_COMMA[1]
Message: Did you forget a comma after a conjunctive/linking adverb?
Suggestion: Additionally,
...delude students’ perception of success. Additionally what was their retention rate, have cus...
^^^^^^^^^^^^
Transition Words or Phrases used:
but, first, furthermore, however, if, lastly, so, thus, while, such as, to begin with
Attributes: Values AverageValues Percentages(Values/AverageValues)% => Comments
Performance on Part of Speech:
To be verbs : 17.0 19.6327345309 87% => OK
Auxiliary verbs: 13.0 12.9520958084 100% => OK
Conjunction : 7.0 11.1786427146 63% => OK
Relative clauses : 16.0 13.6137724551 118% => OK
Pronoun: 37.0 28.8173652695 128% => Less pronouns wanted
Preposition: 47.0 55.5748502994 85% => OK
Nominalization: 30.0 16.3942115768 183% => OK
Performance on vocabulary words:
No of characters: 2083.0 2260.96107784 92% => OK
No of words: 396.0 441.139720559 90% => More content wanted.
Chars per words: 5.2601010101 5.12650576532 103% => OK
Fourth root words length: 4.46091344257 4.56307096286 98% => OK
Word Length SD: 3.00469291651 2.78398813304 108% => OK
Unique words: 215.0 204.123752495 105% => OK
Unique words percentage: 0.542929292929 0.468620217663 116% => OK
syllable_count: 625.5 705.55239521 89% => OK
avg_syllables_per_word: 1.6 1.59920159681 100% => OK
A sentence (or a clause, phrase) starts by:
Pronoun: 5.0 4.96107784431 101% => OK
Article: 6.0 8.76447105788 68% => OK
Subordination: 1.0 2.70958083832 37% => OK
Conjunction: 1.0 1.67365269461 60% => OK
Preposition: 4.0 4.22255489022 95% => OK
Performance on sentences:
How many sentences: 19.0 19.7664670659 96% => OK
Sentence length: 20.0 22.8473053892 88% => OK
Sentence length SD: 56.090597471 57.8364921388 97% => OK
Chars per sentence: 109.631578947 119.503703932 92% => OK
Words per sentence: 20.8421052632 23.324526521 89% => OK
Discourse Markers: 4.47368421053 5.70786347227 78% => OK
Paragraphs: 5.0 5.15768463074 97% => OK
Language errors: 3.0 5.25449101796 57% => OK
Sentences with positive sentiment : 13.0 8.20758483034 158% => OK
Sentences with negative sentiment : 3.0 6.88822355289 44% => More negative sentences wanted.
Sentences with neutral sentiment: 3.0 4.67664670659 64% => OK
What are sentences with positive/Negative/neutral sentiment?
Coherence and Cohesion:
Essay topic to essay body coherence: 0.246399194895 0.218282227539 113% => OK
Sentence topic coherence: 0.0689850643724 0.0743258471296 93% => OK
Sentence topic coherence SD: 0.0668053824949 0.0701772020484 95% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence: 0.132935889271 0.128457276422 103% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence SD: 0.0747275867121 0.0628817314937 119% => OK
Essay readability:
automated_readability_index: 13.8 14.3799401198 96% => OK
flesch_reading_ease: 51.18 48.3550499002 106% => OK
smog_index: 3.1 7.1628742515 43% => Smog_index is low.
flesch_kincaid_grade: 11.1 12.197005988 91% => OK
coleman_liau_index: 13.23 12.5979740519 105% => OK
dale_chall_readability_score: 8.42 8.32208582834 101% => OK
difficult_words: 95.0 98.500998004 96% => OK
linsear_write_formula: 14.5 12.3882235529 117% => OK
gunning_fog: 10.0 11.1389221557 90% => OK
text_standard: 14.0 11.9071856287 118% => OK
What are above readability scores?
---------------------
Rates: 75.0 out of 100
Scores by essay e-grader: 4.5 Out of 6
---------------------
Note: the e-grader does NOT examine the meaning of words and ideas. VIP users will receive further evaluations by advanced module of e-grader and human graders.
Grammar and spelling errors:
Line 1, column 1, Rule ID: SENTENCE_FRAGMENT[1]
Message: “While” at the beginning of a sentence requires a 2nd clause. Maybe a comma, question or exclamation mark is missing, or the sentence is incomplete and should be joined with the following sentence.
While a reasonable person would agree that ga...
^^^^^
Line 2, column 363, Rule ID: WERE_VBB[1]
Message: Did you mean 'where' or 'we'?
Suggestion: where; we
...curred with the recommendation how many were art majors? This is an important questi...
^^^^
Line 4, column 327, Rule ID: SENT_START_CONJUNCTIVE_LINKING_ADVERB_COMMA[1]
Message: Did you forget a comma after a conjunctive/linking adverb?
Suggestion: Additionally,
...delude students’ perception of success. Additionally what was their retention rate, have cus...
^^^^^^^^^^^^
Transition Words or Phrases used:
but, first, furthermore, however, if, lastly, so, thus, while, such as, to begin with
Attributes: Values AverageValues Percentages(Values/AverageValues)% => Comments
Performance on Part of Speech:
To be verbs : 17.0 19.6327345309 87% => OK
Auxiliary verbs: 13.0 12.9520958084 100% => OK
Conjunction : 7.0 11.1786427146 63% => OK
Relative clauses : 16.0 13.6137724551 118% => OK
Pronoun: 37.0 28.8173652695 128% => Less pronouns wanted
Preposition: 47.0 55.5748502994 85% => OK
Nominalization: 30.0 16.3942115768 183% => OK
Performance on vocabulary words:
No of characters: 2083.0 2260.96107784 92% => OK
No of words: 396.0 441.139720559 90% => More content wanted.
Chars per words: 5.2601010101 5.12650576532 103% => OK
Fourth root words length: 4.46091344257 4.56307096286 98% => OK
Word Length SD: 3.00469291651 2.78398813304 108% => OK
Unique words: 215.0 204.123752495 105% => OK
Unique words percentage: 0.542929292929 0.468620217663 116% => OK
syllable_count: 625.5 705.55239521 89% => OK
avg_syllables_per_word: 1.6 1.59920159681 100% => OK
A sentence (or a clause, phrase) starts by:
Pronoun: 5.0 4.96107784431 101% => OK
Article: 6.0 8.76447105788 68% => OK
Subordination: 1.0 2.70958083832 37% => OK
Conjunction: 1.0 1.67365269461 60% => OK
Preposition: 4.0 4.22255489022 95% => OK
Performance on sentences:
How many sentences: 19.0 19.7664670659 96% => OK
Sentence length: 20.0 22.8473053892 88% => OK
Sentence length SD: 56.090597471 57.8364921388 97% => OK
Chars per sentence: 109.631578947 119.503703932 92% => OK
Words per sentence: 20.8421052632 23.324526521 89% => OK
Discourse Markers: 4.47368421053 5.70786347227 78% => OK
Paragraphs: 5.0 5.15768463074 97% => OK
Language errors: 3.0 5.25449101796 57% => OK
Sentences with positive sentiment : 13.0 8.20758483034 158% => OK
Sentences with negative sentiment : 3.0 6.88822355289 44% => More negative sentences wanted.
Sentences with neutral sentiment: 3.0 4.67664670659 64% => OK
What are sentences with positive/Negative/neutral sentiment?
Coherence and Cohesion:
Essay topic to essay body coherence: 0.246399194895 0.218282227539 113% => OK
Sentence topic coherence: 0.0689850643724 0.0743258471296 93% => OK
Sentence topic coherence SD: 0.0668053824949 0.0701772020484 95% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence: 0.132935889271 0.128457276422 103% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence SD: 0.0747275867121 0.0628817314937 119% => OK
Essay readability:
automated_readability_index: 13.8 14.3799401198 96% => OK
flesch_reading_ease: 51.18 48.3550499002 106% => OK
smog_index: 3.1 7.1628742515 43% => Smog_index is low.
flesch_kincaid_grade: 11.1 12.197005988 91% => OK
coleman_liau_index: 13.23 12.5979740519 105% => OK
dale_chall_readability_score: 8.42 8.32208582834 101% => OK
difficult_words: 95.0 98.500998004 96% => OK
linsear_write_formula: 14.5 12.3882235529 117% => OK
gunning_fog: 10.0 11.1389221557 90% => OK
text_standard: 14.0 11.9071856287 118% => OK
What are above readability scores?
---------------------
Rates: 75.0 out of 100
Scores by essay e-grader: 4.5 Out of 6
---------------------
Note: the e-grader does NOT examine the meaning of words and ideas. VIP users will receive further evaluations by advanced module of e-grader and human graders.