The following is a letter to the head of the tourism bureau on the island of Tria.
"Erosion of beach sand along the shores of Tria Island is a serious threat to our island and our tourist industry. In order to stop the erosion, we should charge people for using the beaches. Although this solution may annoy a few tourists in the short term, it will reduce the number of people using the beaches and will raise money for replenishing the sand. Replenishing the sand, as was done to protect buildings on the nearby island of Batia, will help protect buildings along our shores, thereby reducing these buildings' risk of additional damage from severe storms. And since the areas along the shore will be more attractive as a result, the beaches will be preserved and the area's tourist industry will improve over the long term."
In a letter to the head of the tourism bureau on the islands of tria,the author mentions that in order to improve tourism industry in the long run and to protect the building from further damage by storms, goverment of tria, should charge the people for using the beache. he bolster his conclusion by citing example of batia, who implemented similar types of policy. Outwardly, the given argument seems plausible, but upon closer inspection, it suffers from several flaws. For the better evaluation of the given argument, the author needs to provide more specific pieces of the evidence.
Firstly, the author hastily assumes that by charging the fees to the people visiting the beaches, government of tria will be able to collect the suffuicient fund to replenish the sand. however, it might be possible that after charging fees, people will start to visit others islands where entry is free ,as a result, the money collected by tria government from the visitors is low. They may go to the others islands for entertainment, as a result, the long term flow of customer is seriously low and the tourism industry is badly affected. if this holds true, then the author argument is seriously weakened.
Secondly, the author assumes that it is successful in tria islands as it is implemented in the islands of batia also. however, he doesn't mention about the consequences of implementing policy of charging fees to the visitors in batia. it might be possible that the government of batia recorded a significant decreased in the number of the tourist after the implementation of the new policy and their tourism industry negatively affected. if this happens true, the author conclusion is seriously weakened. furthermore, even if it is successful in batia, it is not necessary that it is successful in the islands of teria. it might be possible that the condition of the batia and teria are not compareable.
Last but not least, the author assumes that after raising fund through charging the visitors, islands of tertia is able to replenish the sand of the beach and protect the buildings. however, it might be possible that the condition of the replenishment of the sand is very serious and is very difficult to replenish the sand. furthermore, the risk to the damage of building is due to other causes rather than the erosion of the sand. if this holds true, then the author arguments will seriously undermined.
In a nutshell, the author make a recommendation based upon several incomplete evidence so author needs to provide more pieces of evidence based upon systematic research study so that the reliability of the given argument can be increased.
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| 2020-01-09 | jha | 69 | view |
| 2019-10-26 | Sai sushma | 63 | view |
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| 2019-10-13 | 08sandip | 82 | view |
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Comments
Essay evaluation report
Attribute Value Ideal
Final score: 4.0 out of 6
Category: Good Excellent
No. of Grammatical Errors: 0 2
No. of Spelling Errors: 0 2
No. of Sentences: 10 15
No. of Words: 446 350
No. of Characters: 2153 1500
No. of Different Words: 178 200
Fourth Root of Number of Words: 4.596 4.7
Average Word Length: 4.827 4.6
Word Length SD: 2.678 2.4
No. of Words greater than 5 chars: 159 100
No. of Words greater than 6 chars: 122 80
No. of Words greater than 7 chars: 82 40
No. of Words greater than 8 chars: 47 20
Use of Passive Voice (%): 0 0
Avg. Sentence Length: 44.6 21.0
Sentence Length SD: 27.27 7.5
Use of Discourse Markers (%): 0.7 0.12
Sentence-Text Coherence: 0.42 0.35
Sentence-Para Coherence: 0.699 0.50
Sentence-Sentence Coherence: 0.146 0.07
Number of Paragraphs: 5 5
Grammar and spelling errors:
Line 1, column 69, Rule ID: COMMA_PARENTHESIS_WHITESPACE
Message: Put a space after the comma
Suggestion: , the
...he tourism bureau on the islands of tria,the author mentions that in order to improv...
^^^^
Line 1, column 180, Rule ID: WHITESPACE_RULE
Message: Possible typo: you repeated a whitespace
Suggestion:
...ong run and to protect the building from further damage by storms, goverment of t...
^^
Line 1, column 274, Rule ID: UPPERCASE_SENTENCE_START
Message: This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
Suggestion: He
...charge the people for using the beache. he bolster his conclusion by citing exampl...
^^
Line 1, column 277, Rule ID: HE_VERB_AGR[1]
Message: The pronoun 'he' must be used with a third-person verb: 'bolsters'.
Suggestion: bolsters
...rge the people for using the beache. he bolster his conclusion by citing example of bat...
^^^^^^^
Line 3, column 186, Rule ID: UPPERCASE_SENTENCE_START
Message: This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
Suggestion: However
...suffuicient fund to replenish the sand. however, it might be possible that after chargi...
^^^^^^^
Line 3, column 303, Rule ID: COMMA_PARENTHESIS_WHITESPACE
Message: Put a space after the comma, but not before the comma
Suggestion: ,
...visit others islands where entry is free ,as a result, the money collected by tria...
^^
Line 3, column 541, Rule ID: UPPERCASE_SENTENCE_START
Message: This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
Suggestion: If
...the tourism industry is badly affected. if this holds true, then the author argume...
^^
Line 9, column 113, Rule ID: ALSO_SENT_END[1]
Message: 'Also' is not used at the end of the sentence. Use 'as well' instead.
Suggestion: as well
... is implemented in the islands of batia also. however, he doesnt mention about the c...
^^^^
Line 9, column 119, Rule ID: UPPERCASE_SENTENCE_START
Message: This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
Suggestion: However
...plemented in the islands of batia also. however, he doesnt mention about the consequenc...
^^^^^^^
Line 9, column 131, Rule ID: EN_CONTRACTION_SPELLING
Message: Possible spelling mistake found
Suggestion: doesn't
... the islands of batia also. however, he doesnt mention about the consequences of imple...
^^^^^^
Line 9, column 235, Rule ID: UPPERCASE_SENTENCE_START
Message: This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
Suggestion: It
...charging fees to the visitors in batia. it might be possible that the government o...
^^
Line 9, column 438, Rule ID: UPPERCASE_SENTENCE_START
Message: This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
Suggestion: If
...r tourism industry negatively affected. if this happens true, the author conclusio...
^^
Line 9, column 505, Rule ID: UPPERCASE_SENTENCE_START
Message: This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
Suggestion: Furthermore
...uthor conclusion is seriously weakened. furthermore, even if it is successful in batia, it ...
^^^^^^^^^^^
Line 9, column 620, Rule ID: UPPERCASE_SENTENCE_START
Message: This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
Suggestion: It
... is successful in the islands of teria. it might be possible that the condition of...
^^
Line 15, column 183, Rule ID: UPPERCASE_SENTENCE_START
Message: This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
Suggestion: However
...of the beach and protect the buildings. however, it might be possible that the conditio...
^^^^^^^
Line 15, column 326, Rule ID: UPPERCASE_SENTENCE_START
Message: This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
Suggestion: Furthermore
...s very difficult to replenish the sand. furthermore, the risk to the damage of building is ...
^^^^^^^^^^^
Line 15, column 434, Rule ID: UPPERCASE_SENTENCE_START
Message: This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
Suggestion: If
...es rather than the erosion of the sand. if this holds true, then the author argume...
^^
Line 15, column 495, Rule ID: DID_BASEFORM[1]
Message: The verb 'will' requires the base form of the verb: 'undermine'
Suggestion: undermine
...hen the author arguments will seriously undermined. In a nutshell, the author make...
^^^^^^^^^^
Transition Words or Phrases used:
also, but, first, firstly, furthermore, however, if, may, second, secondly, so, then, as a result
Attributes: Values AverageValues Percentages(Values/AverageValues)% => Comments
Performance on Part of Speech:
To be verbs : 22.0 19.6327345309 112% => OK
Auxiliary verbs: 10.0 12.9520958084 77% => OK
Conjunction : 8.0 11.1786427146 72% => OK
Relative clauses : 12.0 13.6137724551 88% => OK
Pronoun: 28.0 28.8173652695 97% => OK
Preposition: 66.0 55.5748502994 119% => OK
Nominalization: 20.0 16.3942115768 122% => OK
Performance on vocabulary words:
No of characters: 2230.0 2260.96107784 99% => OK
No of words: 444.0 441.139720559 101% => OK
Chars per words: 5.02252252252 5.12650576532 98% => OK
Fourth root words length: 4.5903493882 4.56307096286 101% => OK
Word Length SD: 2.7701347656 2.78398813304 100% => OK
Unique words: 188.0 204.123752495 92% => More unique words wanted.
Unique words percentage: 0.423423423423 0.468620217663 90% => More unique words wanted or less content wanted.
syllable_count: 683.1 705.55239521 97% => OK
avg_syllables_per_word: 1.5 1.59920159681 94% => OK
A sentence (or a clause, phrase) starts by:
Pronoun: 9.0 4.96107784431 181% => OK
Article: 11.0 8.76447105788 126% => OK
Subordination: 6.0 2.70958083832 221% => Less adverbial clause wanted.
Conjunction: 1.0 1.67365269461 60% => OK
Preposition: 2.0 4.22255489022 47% => More preposition wanted as sentence beginning.
Performance on sentences:
How many sentences: 19.0 19.7664670659 96% => OK
Sentence length: 23.0 22.8473053892 101% => OK
Sentence length SD: 57.7978136059 57.8364921388 100% => OK
Chars per sentence: 117.368421053 119.503703932 98% => OK
Words per sentence: 23.3684210526 23.324526521 100% => OK
Discourse Markers: 5.10526315789 5.70786347227 89% => OK
Paragraphs: 5.0 5.15768463074 97% => OK
Language errors: 18.0 5.25449101796 343% => Less language errors wanted.
Sentences with positive sentiment : 7.0 8.20758483034 85% => OK
Sentences with negative sentiment : 8.0 6.88822355289 116% => OK
Sentences with neutral sentiment: 4.0 4.67664670659 86% => OK
What are sentences with positive/Negative/neutral sentiment?
Coherence and Cohesion:
Essay topic to essay body coherence: 0.229320048482 0.218282227539 105% => OK
Sentence topic coherence: 0.0712864611714 0.0743258471296 96% => OK
Sentence topic coherence SD: 0.080304023921 0.0701772020484 114% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence: 0.125127426086 0.128457276422 97% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence SD: 0.0656703249335 0.0628817314937 104% => OK
Essay readability:
automated_readability_index: 13.9 14.3799401198 97% => OK
flesch_reading_ease: 56.59 48.3550499002 117% => OK
smog_index: 3.1 7.1628742515 43% => Smog_index is low.
flesch_kincaid_grade: 11.1 12.197005988 91% => OK
coleman_liau_index: 12.13 12.5979740519 96% => OK
dale_chall_readability_score: 7.94 8.32208582834 95% => OK
difficult_words: 89.0 98.500998004 90% => OK
linsear_write_formula: 13.0 12.3882235529 105% => OK
gunning_fog: 11.2 11.1389221557 101% => OK
text_standard: 13.0 11.9071856287 109% => OK
What are above readability scores?
---------------------
Rates: 66.67 out of 100
Scores by essay e-grader: 4.0 Out of 6
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Note: the e-grader does NOT examine the meaning of words and ideas. VIP users will receive further evaluations by advanced module of e-grader and human graders.