The following is a letter from the parent of a private school student to the principal of that school:Last year, Kensington Academy turned over management of its cafeteria to a private vendor, Swift Nutrition. This company serves low-fat, low-calorie meal

While it may be true, that Kensington Academy has turned there own cafeteria to other third party vendor with the purpose cited in the argument. Despite the facts cited in argument no of the argument support the clause why student would lead to abstain the food of canteen or cafeteria. What lead the academy to turnover the existing vendor was not cited , what that been asked by the students or Was that management issue. Over and above the argument doesn't support the facts mentioned about the students, that change of vendor will deteriorate there health. There are lot of unquestioned beliefs and surmises on which coda has been extracted which needs to dichotomy to assess it further.

Firstly, as stated in argument that food provided by Swift failed to savor the students because it comprises of low-fat and low-calorie food, but none of the evidence has been cited why the the foo is not unsavory or why the students does feel it unsavory. It has been research fully proven that eating healthy will raise the endurance and strength of the person and cultivating the habit of eating good would always lead to salubrious life ahead. In the context, it would have nice to have knowledge about why the food was unsavory of students as there are plenty of ways to make good savor to food by adding some efforts to make it.

Secondly, Academy has overturned the existing cafeteria to the Swift but why the did it ?, was not cited in in argument. It may be reason that there would have number complaints from peers or parents about existing cafeteria food or may be multiple of them but argument fails to cite them. As contextualized person is only who raise a issue that it students would start eating unhealthy doesn't lead us to think as all of the students cumulatively.

Although, it may be true that new vendor Swift would would have failed to allure students to eat the food supplied. But what does the ultimately choice of students have not been mentioned in argument, which probably be fabrication of existing good situation. Instead there might be couple of way by which effectively we can build the proper argument which can be raised to the school management that might help to ease the situation.

Survey among the students or children inhibiting into the school, with agenda as what food they would like the most ? What they don't like about existing vendor ? What made them more alluring in older vendor in cafeteria ?. By extracting effective answers to above questions would probably lead to us to actual dilemma in students because of Swift. Making progressive changes in existing cafeteria food can lead to better solutions as whole, as every food can be made savor by some efforts on the top.

Even though argument is surmised on beliefs, it may be true or may be not. so as whole Swift probably is not alluring students but there are plenty of ways which can be incorporated to make existing food savory and empower students to eat.

Votes
Average: 5.8 (1 vote)
Essay Categories
Essays by the user:

Grammar and spelling errors:
Line 1, column 58, Rule ID: THERE_OWN[1]
Message: Did you mean 'their own'?
Suggestion: their own
...rue, that Kensington Academy has turned there own cafeteria to other third party vendor w...
^^^^^^^^^
Line 1, column 182, Rule ID: NOW[2]
Message: Did you mean 'now' (=at this moment) instead of 'no' (negation)?
Suggestion: now
...nt. Despite the facts cited in argument no of the argument support the clause why ...
^^
Line 1, column 355, Rule ID: COMMA_PARENTHESIS_WHITESPACE
Message: Put a space after the comma, but not before the comma
Suggestion: ,
...rnover the existing vendor was not cited , what that been asked by the students or...
^^
Line 1, column 453, Rule ID: EN_CONTRACTION_SPELLING
Message: Possible spelling mistake found
Suggestion: doesn't
...ment issue. Over and above the argument doesnt support the facts mentioned about the s...
^^^^^^
Line 3, column 100, Rule ID: COMPRISES_OF[1]
Message: Did you mean 'comprises' or 'consists of'?
Suggestion: comprises; consists of
...failed to savor the students because it comprises of low-fat and low-calorie food, but none ...
^^^^^^^^^^^^
Line 3, column 187, Rule ID: ENGLISH_WORD_REPEAT_RULE
Message: Possible typo: you repeated a word
Suggestion: the
...none of the evidence has been cited why the the foo is not unsavory or why the students...
^^^^^^^
Line 3, column 187, Rule ID: DT_DT[1]
Message: Maybe you need to remove one determiner so that only 'the' or 'the' is left.
Suggestion: the; the
...none of the evidence has been cited why the the foo is not unsavory or why the students...
^^^^^^^
Line 5, column 106, Rule ID: ENGLISH_WORD_REPEAT_RULE
Message: Possible typo: you repeated a word
Suggestion: in
...ift but why the did it ?, was not cited in in argument. It may be reason that there w...
^^^^^
Line 5, column 334, Rule ID: EN_A_VS_AN
Message: Use 'an' instead of 'a' if the following word starts with a vowel sound, e.g. 'an article', 'an hour'
Suggestion: an
...contextualized person is only who raise a issue that it students would start eati...
^
Line 5, column 388, Rule ID: EN_CONTRACTION_SPELLING
Message: Possible spelling mistake found
Suggestion: doesn't
...t students would start eating unhealthy doesnt lead us to think as all of the students...
^^^^^^
Line 5, column 415, Rule ID: ALL_OF_THE[1]
Message: Simply use 'all the'.
Suggestion: all the
...ng unhealthy doesnt lead us to think as all of the students cumulatively. Although, it...
^^^^^^^^^^
Line 7, column 1, Rule ID: SENTENCE_FRAGMENT[1]
Message: “Although” at the beginning of a sentence requires a 2nd clause. Maybe a comma, question or exclamation mark is missing, or the sentence is incomplete and should be joined with the following sentence.
...s all of the students cumulatively. Although, it may be true that new vendor Swift w...
^^^^^^^^
Line 7, column 48, Rule ID: ENGLISH_WORD_REPEAT_RULE
Message: Possible typo: you repeated a word
Suggestion: would
...h, it may be true that new vendor Swift would would have failed to allure students to eat t...
^^^^^^^^^^^
Line 7, column 260, Rule ID: SENT_START_CONJUNCTIVE_LINKING_ADVERB_COMMA[1]
Message: Did you forget a comma after a conjunctive/linking adverb?
Suggestion: Instead,
...fabrication of existing good situation. Instead there might be couple of way by which e...
^^^^^^^
Line 9, column 129, Rule ID: EN_CONTRACTION_SPELLING
Message: Possible spelling mistake found
Suggestion: don't
...od they would like the most ? What they dont like about existing vendor ? What made ...
^^^^
Line 12, column 76, Rule ID: UPPERCASE_SENTENCE_START
Message: This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
Suggestion: So
... beliefs, it may be true or may be not. so as whole Swift probably is not alluring...
^^

Transition Words or Phrases used:
but, first, firstly, if, may, second, secondly, so, third, while

Attributes: Values AverageValues Percentages(Values/AverageValues)% => Comments

Performance on Part of Speech:
To be verbs : 27.0 19.6327345309 138% => OK
Auxiliary verbs: 24.0 12.9520958084 185% => OK
Conjunction : 18.0 11.1786427146 161% => OK
Relative clauses : 17.0 13.6137724551 125% => OK
Pronoun: 30.0 28.8173652695 104% => OK
Preposition: 76.0 55.5748502994 137% => OK
Nominalization: 17.0 16.3942115768 104% => OK

Performance on vocabulary words:
No of characters: 2454.0 2260.96107784 109% => OK
No of words: 512.0 441.139720559 116% => OK
Chars per words: 4.79296875 5.12650576532 93% => OK
Fourth root words length: 4.75682846001 4.56307096286 104% => OK
Word Length SD: 2.46590737221 2.78398813304 89% => OK
Unique words: 218.0 204.123752495 107% => OK
Unique words percentage: 0.42578125 0.468620217663 91% => More unique words wanted or less content wanted.
syllable_count: 763.2 705.55239521 108% => OK
avg_syllables_per_word: 1.5 1.59920159681 94% => OK

A sentence (or a clause, phrase) starts by:
Pronoun: 7.0 4.96107784431 141% => OK
Interrogative: 4.0 0.471057884232 849% => Less interrogative sentences wanted.
Article: 0.0 8.76447105788 0% => OK
Subordination: 5.0 2.70958083832 185% => OK
Conjunction: 2.0 1.67365269461 119% => OK
Preposition: 5.0 4.22255489022 118% => OK

Performance on sentences:
How many sentences: 21.0 19.7664670659 106% => OK
Sentence length: 24.0 22.8473053892 105% => OK
Sentence length SD: 45.3300819162 57.8364921388 78% => OK
Chars per sentence: 116.857142857 119.503703932 98% => OK
Words per sentence: 24.380952381 23.324526521 105% => OK
Discourse Markers: 3.04761904762 5.70786347227 53% => More transition words/phrases wanted.
Paragraphs: 6.0 5.15768463074 116% => OK
Language errors: 16.0 5.25449101796 305% => Less language errors wanted.
Sentences with positive sentiment : 12.0 8.20758483034 146% => OK
Sentences with negative sentiment : 6.0 6.88822355289 87% => OK
Sentences with neutral sentiment: 3.0 4.67664670659 64% => OK
What are sentences with positive/Negative/neutral sentiment?

Coherence and Cohesion:
Essay topic to essay body coherence: 0.144937789182 0.218282227539 66% => OK
Sentence topic coherence: 0.0507648616748 0.0743258471296 68% => OK
Sentence topic coherence SD: 0.0356192192559 0.0701772020484 51% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence: 0.0823356531968 0.128457276422 64% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence SD: 0.0222601766156 0.0628817314937 35% => Paragraphs are similar to each other. Some content may get duplicated or it is not exactly right on the topic.

Essay readability:
automated_readability_index: 13.3 14.3799401198 92% => Automated_readability_index is low.
flesch_reading_ease: 55.58 48.3550499002 115% => OK
smog_index: 8.8 7.1628742515 123% => OK
flesch_kincaid_grade: 11.5 12.197005988 94% => OK
coleman_liau_index: 10.8 12.5979740519 86% => OK
dale_chall_readability_score: 7.85 8.32208582834 94% => OK
difficult_words: 98.0 98.500998004 99% => OK
linsear_write_formula: 11.5 12.3882235529 93% => OK
gunning_fog: 11.6 11.1389221557 104% => OK
text_standard: 12.0 11.9071856287 101% => OK
What are above readability scores?

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Rates: 58.33 out of 100
Scores by essay e-grader: 3.5 Out of 6 -- The score is based on the average performance of 20,000 argument essays. This e-grader is not smart enough to check on arguments.
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Note: the e-grader does NOT examine the meaning of words and ideas. VIP users will receive further evaluations by advanced module of e-grader and human graders.