Given argument is a ten year study performed to co-relate two important factors for bicyclist that is percentage of increase in accidents with percentage of increase in people wearing helmets. It concluded from the study that people tended to take more risk while wearing helmet thus, even with increased number of people wearing helmet, the percentage of accidents occuring also increased. A better alternative was provided to educate people about bicycle safety rather than encouraging them to wear helmet.
The argument doesn't provide us with neccessary information about the reasons behind the accidents. This tends to open a wide field of reasons for it. There might be several cases where accidents were caused due to heavy vehicles such as cars and trucks and a bicyclist was injured. In such a scenario wearing helmet couldn't protect the bicyclist beyond a certain limit. There might have been regions with infrastructural issue in bicycle lane which caused accidents. There might be regions where there wasn't favourable climatic conditions such as rain or snow and people used bicycle which caused accidents. Thus, a better statistical approach has to be used to give us a clear picture about the reasons behind the accidents.
There has been a mention people tending to take high risk, which might not have been contributed due to helmet. As there is rapid growth in the field of technology, better bicycles might have been produced over the period of ten years. These bicycles must have been developed with better safety equipments, which might contribute to boost people which caused accidents in long run. People's general pyschology changes over such a long period, which might have resulted in a general trend of increase in people who loved to take risks. This could be a leading factor which contributed to accidents.
Another important factor which was not discussed in detail was what was the average age group of people who faced accidents. There might have been the case that there is a large amount of children who are trying to learn bicycle and injuring themselves. There might be a large group of people who might have faced accidents due to their poor eye sight or old age. As the study is conducted nation wide a region wise report needs to be generated which could help us analyse such factors in detail.
Thus, by keeping aforth all the factors, there needs to be deeper research in certain field which could throw light on the given topic. The report suggesting the government to educate people on bicycle safety has a valid point. This has to be done but, not by ignoring the importance of helmet,which is one of the most important safety equipment for the bicyclist.
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- TOEFL T P O 11 Integrated Writing Task 52
Essay evaluations by e-grader
Grammar and spelling errors:
Line 2, column 14, Rule ID: EN_CONTRACTION_SPELLING
Message: Possible spelling mistake found
Suggestion: doesn't
...ing them to wear helmet. The argument doesnt provide us with neccessary information ...
^^^^^^
Line 2, column 317, Rule ID: EN_CONTRACTION_SPELLING
Message: Possible spelling mistake found
Suggestion: couldn't
...ured. In such a scenario wearing helmet couldnt protect the bicyclist beyond a certain ...
^^^^^^^
Line 2, column 503, Rule ID: EN_CONTRACTION_SPELLING
Message: Possible spelling mistake found
Suggestion: wasn't
...nts. There might be regions where there wasnt favourable climatic conditions such as ...
^^^^^
Line 4, column 1, Rule ID: WHITESPACE_RULE
Message: Possible typo: you repeated a whitespace
Suggestion:
...actor which contributed to accidents. Another important factor which was not d...
^^
Line 4, column 224, Rule ID: AFFORD_VB[1]
Message: This verb is used with the infinitive: 'to bicycle'
Suggestion: to bicycle
...unt of children who are trying to learn bicycle and injuring themselves. There might be...
^^^^^^^
Line 4, column 345, Rule ID: EYE_BROW[1]
Message: This word is usually spelt together: 'eyesight'.
Suggestion: eyesight
... have faced accidents due to their poor eye sight or old age. As the study is conducted n...
^^^^^^^^^
Line 4, column 367, Rule ID: SENTENCE_FRAGMENT[1]
Message: “As” at the beginning of a sentence requires a 2nd clause. Maybe a comma, question or exclamation mark is missing, or the sentence is incomplete and should be joined with the following sentence.
...due to their poor eye sight or old age. As the study is conducted nation wide a re...
^^
Line 4, column 393, Rule ID: NATION_WIDE[1]
Message: Did you mean 'nationwide'?
Suggestion: nationwide
...t or old age. As the study is conducted nation wide a region wise report needs to be genera...
^^^^^^^^^^^
Line 5, column 293, Rule ID: COMMA_PARENTHESIS_WHITESPACE
Message: Put a space after the comma
Suggestion: , which
...not by ignoring the importance of helmet,which is one of the most important safety equ...
^^^^^^
Transition Words or Phrases used:
also, but, so, thus, while, as to, such as
Attributes: Values AverageValues Percentages(Values/AverageValues)% => Comments
Performance on Part of Speech:
To be verbs : 27.0 19.6327345309 138% => OK
Auxiliary verbs: 14.0 12.9520958084 108% => OK
Conjunction : 7.0 11.1786427146 63% => OK
Relative clauses : 20.0 13.6137724551 147% => OK
Pronoun: 15.0 28.8173652695 52% => OK
Preposition: 61.0 55.5748502994 110% => OK
Nominalization: 7.0 16.3942115768 43% => More nominalizations (nouns with a suffix like: tion ment ence ance) wanted.
Performance on vocabulary words:
No of characters: 2253.0 2260.96107784 100% => OK
No of words: 451.0 441.139720559 102% => OK
Chars per words: 4.9955654102 5.12650576532 97% => OK
Fourth root words length: 4.60833598836 4.56307096286 101% => OK
Word Length SD: 2.52160540385 2.78398813304 91% => OK
Unique words: 207.0 204.123752495 101% => OK
Unique words percentage: 0.458980044346 0.468620217663 98% => OK
syllable_count: 701.1 705.55239521 99% => OK
avg_syllables_per_word: 1.6 1.59920159681 100% => OK
A sentence (or a clause, phrase) starts by:
Pronoun: 5.0 4.96107784431 101% => OK
Article: 5.0 8.76447105788 57% => OK
Subordination: 2.0 2.70958083832 74% => OK
Conjunction: 0.0 1.67365269461 0% => OK
Preposition: 2.0 4.22255489022 47% => More preposition wanted as sentence beginning.
Performance on sentences:
How many sentences: 22.0 19.7664670659 111% => OK
Sentence length: 20.0 22.8473053892 88% => OK
Sentence length SD: 33.9528112007 57.8364921388 59% => The essay contains lots of sentences with the similar length. More sentence varieties wanted.
Chars per sentence: 102.409090909 119.503703932 86% => OK
Words per sentence: 20.5 23.324526521 88% => OK
Discourse Markers: 1.90909090909 5.70786347227 33% => More transition words/phrases wanted.
Paragraphs: 5.0 5.15768463074 97% => OK
Language errors: 9.0 5.25449101796 171% => OK
Sentences with positive sentiment : 10.0 8.20758483034 122% => OK
Sentences with negative sentiment : 10.0 6.88822355289 145% => OK
Sentences with neutral sentiment: 2.0 4.67664670659 43% => OK
What are sentences with positive/Negative/neutral sentiment?
Coherence and Cohesion:
Essay topic to essay body coherence: 0.159220943248 0.218282227539 73% => OK
Sentence topic coherence: 0.0560094038365 0.0743258471296 75% => OK
Sentence topic coherence SD: 0.0596321636729 0.0701772020484 85% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence: 0.105648617541 0.128457276422 82% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence SD: 0.0727649707234 0.0628817314937 116% => OK
Essay readability:
automated_readability_index: 12.4 14.3799401198 86% => Automated_readability_index is low.
flesch_reading_ease: 51.18 48.3550499002 106% => OK
smog_index: 3.1 7.1628742515 43% => Smog_index is low.
flesch_kincaid_grade: 11.1 12.197005988 91% => OK
coleman_liau_index: 11.72 12.5979740519 93% => OK
dale_chall_readability_score: 7.6 8.32208582834 91% => OK
difficult_words: 85.0 98.500998004 86% => OK
linsear_write_formula: 11.0 12.3882235529 89% => OK
gunning_fog: 10.0 11.1389221557 90% => OK
text_standard: 12.0 11.9071856287 101% => OK
What are above readability scores?
---------------------
Rates: 50.0 out of 100
Scores by essay e-grader: 3.0 Out of 6
---------------------
Note: the e-grader does NOT examine the meaning of words and ideas. VIP users will receive further evaluations by advanced module of e-grader and human graders.
Grammar and spelling errors:
Line 2, column 14, Rule ID: EN_CONTRACTION_SPELLING
Message: Possible spelling mistake found
Suggestion: doesn't
...ing them to wear helmet. The argument doesnt provide us with neccessary information ...
^^^^^^
Line 2, column 317, Rule ID: EN_CONTRACTION_SPELLING
Message: Possible spelling mistake found
Suggestion: couldn't
...ured. In such a scenario wearing helmet couldnt protect the bicyclist beyond a certain ...
^^^^^^^
Line 2, column 503, Rule ID: EN_CONTRACTION_SPELLING
Message: Possible spelling mistake found
Suggestion: wasn't
...nts. There might be regions where there wasnt favourable climatic conditions such as ...
^^^^^
Line 4, column 1, Rule ID: WHITESPACE_RULE
Message: Possible typo: you repeated a whitespace
Suggestion:
...actor which contributed to accidents. Another important factor which was not d...
^^
Line 4, column 224, Rule ID: AFFORD_VB[1]
Message: This verb is used with the infinitive: 'to bicycle'
Suggestion: to bicycle
...unt of children who are trying to learn bicycle and injuring themselves. There might be...
^^^^^^^
Line 4, column 345, Rule ID: EYE_BROW[1]
Message: This word is usually spelt together: 'eyesight'.
Suggestion: eyesight
... have faced accidents due to their poor eye sight or old age. As the study is conducted n...
^^^^^^^^^
Line 4, column 367, Rule ID: SENTENCE_FRAGMENT[1]
Message: “As” at the beginning of a sentence requires a 2nd clause. Maybe a comma, question or exclamation mark is missing, or the sentence is incomplete and should be joined with the following sentence.
...due to their poor eye sight or old age. As the study is conducted nation wide a re...
^^
Line 4, column 393, Rule ID: NATION_WIDE[1]
Message: Did you mean 'nationwide'?
Suggestion: nationwide
...t or old age. As the study is conducted nation wide a region wise report needs to be genera...
^^^^^^^^^^^
Line 5, column 293, Rule ID: COMMA_PARENTHESIS_WHITESPACE
Message: Put a space after the comma
Suggestion: , which
...not by ignoring the importance of helmet,which is one of the most important safety equ...
^^^^^^
Transition Words or Phrases used:
also, but, so, thus, while, as to, such as
Attributes: Values AverageValues Percentages(Values/AverageValues)% => Comments
Performance on Part of Speech:
To be verbs : 27.0 19.6327345309 138% => OK
Auxiliary verbs: 14.0 12.9520958084 108% => OK
Conjunction : 7.0 11.1786427146 63% => OK
Relative clauses : 20.0 13.6137724551 147% => OK
Pronoun: 15.0 28.8173652695 52% => OK
Preposition: 61.0 55.5748502994 110% => OK
Nominalization: 7.0 16.3942115768 43% => More nominalizations (nouns with a suffix like: tion ment ence ance) wanted.
Performance on vocabulary words:
No of characters: 2253.0 2260.96107784 100% => OK
No of words: 451.0 441.139720559 102% => OK
Chars per words: 4.9955654102 5.12650576532 97% => OK
Fourth root words length: 4.60833598836 4.56307096286 101% => OK
Word Length SD: 2.52160540385 2.78398813304 91% => OK
Unique words: 207.0 204.123752495 101% => OK
Unique words percentage: 0.458980044346 0.468620217663 98% => OK
syllable_count: 701.1 705.55239521 99% => OK
avg_syllables_per_word: 1.6 1.59920159681 100% => OK
A sentence (or a clause, phrase) starts by:
Pronoun: 5.0 4.96107784431 101% => OK
Article: 5.0 8.76447105788 57% => OK
Subordination: 2.0 2.70958083832 74% => OK
Conjunction: 0.0 1.67365269461 0% => OK
Preposition: 2.0 4.22255489022 47% => More preposition wanted as sentence beginning.
Performance on sentences:
How many sentences: 22.0 19.7664670659 111% => OK
Sentence length: 20.0 22.8473053892 88% => OK
Sentence length SD: 33.9528112007 57.8364921388 59% => The essay contains lots of sentences with the similar length. More sentence varieties wanted.
Chars per sentence: 102.409090909 119.503703932 86% => OK
Words per sentence: 20.5 23.324526521 88% => OK
Discourse Markers: 1.90909090909 5.70786347227 33% => More transition words/phrases wanted.
Paragraphs: 5.0 5.15768463074 97% => OK
Language errors: 9.0 5.25449101796 171% => OK
Sentences with positive sentiment : 10.0 8.20758483034 122% => OK
Sentences with negative sentiment : 10.0 6.88822355289 145% => OK
Sentences with neutral sentiment: 2.0 4.67664670659 43% => OK
What are sentences with positive/Negative/neutral sentiment?
Coherence and Cohesion:
Essay topic to essay body coherence: 0.159220943248 0.218282227539 73% => OK
Sentence topic coherence: 0.0560094038365 0.0743258471296 75% => OK
Sentence topic coherence SD: 0.0596321636729 0.0701772020484 85% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence: 0.105648617541 0.128457276422 82% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence SD: 0.0727649707234 0.0628817314937 116% => OK
Essay readability:
automated_readability_index: 12.4 14.3799401198 86% => Automated_readability_index is low.
flesch_reading_ease: 51.18 48.3550499002 106% => OK
smog_index: 3.1 7.1628742515 43% => Smog_index is low.
flesch_kincaid_grade: 11.1 12.197005988 91% => OK
coleman_liau_index: 11.72 12.5979740519 93% => OK
dale_chall_readability_score: 7.6 8.32208582834 91% => OK
difficult_words: 85.0 98.500998004 86% => OK
linsear_write_formula: 11.0 12.3882235529 89% => OK
gunning_fog: 10.0 11.1389221557 90% => OK
text_standard: 12.0 11.9071856287 101% => OK
What are above readability scores?
---------------------
Rates: 50.0 out of 100
Scores by essay e-grader: 3.0 Out of 6
---------------------
Note: the e-grader does NOT examine the meaning of words and ideas. VIP users will receive further evaluations by advanced module of e-grader and human graders.