'The following is a memorandum from the business manager of a television station.“Over the past year, our late-night news program has devoted increased time to national news and less time to weather and local news. During this time period, most of the com

The author needs evidence to support the points he's made and determine if they would support his argument. The author addresses 3 important points that he should further investigate and show. He first talks about complaints from the viewers but doesn't really go into the nature of their complaints. The author says the complaints received from the vieweres were regarding their concern with the station's coverage of weather and local news, this could be about a new news reporter that the viewers didn't like, about the quality of the information, about unattractive graphic designs, amongs other issues that don't have to be time related. Evidence about specific complaints could help prove his point if the complaint was about the time dedicated to these areas. The author also fails to mention the nature of the complaints before the changes and if they have increased or decreased.

He states that local businesses have cancelled advertising contracts but fails to make the cause and effect conection with the time the news channel devotes to weather and local news. For example, local businesses could have cancelled because they ran out of business and closed or because they relocated to another state. If the author could show the reason why the businesses decided to cancel their advertising contract this would help prove that the changes in station were directly responsible for the loss of revenue.

Lastly he says that by restoring the time periods of weather and local news, the station wil attract more viewers and stop losing advertising revenues but he doesn't show the connection or gives any evidence about the amount of viewers of the station. Resent ratings could show that the amount of viewers has increased since the change in the station, proving that it was a positive change.

The business manager should collect evidence about the complaints and how they have changed over the past year. He should also investigate the motives of the businesses that cancelled their advertising contract. Lastly he should study the behavior of the ratings for the new stations. All this information will help him make a more educated decision.

Votes
Average: 6.3 (3 votes)
Essay Categories

Sentence: The author says the complaints received from the vieweres were regarding their concern with the station's coverage of weather and local news, this could be about a new news reporter that the viewers didn't like, about the quality of the information, about unattractive graphic designs, amongs other issues that don't have to be time related.
Error: amongs Suggestion: No alternate word
Error: vieweres Suggestion: viewers

Sentence: He states that local businesses have cancelled advertising contracts but fails to make the cause and effect conection with the time the news channel devotes to weather and
Error: conection Suggestion: connection

Sentence: Lastly he says that by restoring the time periods of weather and local news, the station wil attract more viewers and stop losing advertising revenues but he doesn't show the connection or gives any evidence about the amount of viewers of the station.
Error: wil Suggestion: No alternate word

argument 1 -- OK

argument 2 -- OK

argument 3 -- OK

flaws:
Need one introduction paragraph. like this:
para 1: introduction
para 2: argument 1
para 3: argument 2
para 4: argument 3
para 5: conclusion

Attribute Value Ideal
Score: 4.0 out of 6
Category: Good Excellent
No. of Grammatical Errors: 0 2
No. of Spelling Errors: 4 2
No. of Sentences: 15 15
No. of Words: 357 350
No. of Characters: 1776 1500
No. of Different Words: 164 200
Fourth Root of Number of Words: 4.347 4.7
Average Word Length: 4.975 4.6
Word Length SD: 2.457 2.4
No. of Words greater than 5 chars: 129 100
No. of Words greater than 6 chars: 99 80
No. of Words greater than 7 chars: 59 40
No. of Words greater than 8 chars: 38 20
Use of Passive Voice (%): 0 0
Avg. Sentence Length: 23.8 21.0
Sentence Length SD: 12.227 7.5
Use of Discourse Markers (%): 0.733 0.12
Sentence-Text Coherence: 0.362 0.35
Sentence-Para Coherence: 0.568 0.50
Sentence-Sentence Coherence: 0.213 0.07
Number of Paragraphs: 4 5