The following is a memorandum from the office of Mayor Harrison Smith Jones.
"In order to relieve Briggsville’s notorious traffic congestion, Mayor Harrison Smith Jones plans to build a multi-million dollar subway system. The subway will run through the major downtown areas, a part of the town where buses serve as the only form of public transportation. For years, residents have been complaining both about inconsistent buses, and the general lack of safety while riding the buses. Additionally, the subway will be running twenty-four hours a day. Since motorists will spend less time in traffic, Mayor Harrison Smith Jones expects to see an immediate increase in worker productivity, which will improve the economy of Briggsville."
The stated arguments is that funding an expensive subway system will relieve traffic congestion in the city. As a consequence, there will be an immediate increase in worker's productivity leading to an overall improvement of the economy. While it's not a bad idea to tackle traffic congestion, this author's argument does not make a cogent case to support this goal. It's easy to perceive why the mayor may find his logic appealing, nonetheless the argument is replete with holes and unfounded assumptions.
While it may be expected for a subway system to enable citizens of the town to embrace the use of it, causing a wane in traffic, data has to be provided to back up this claim. There is no evidence that the town's citizens are on board with this idea. In our society, many people may regard their vehicle as an achievement that they may loathe to give up. Overall, people may like the idea of spending less time in traffic, but who is willing to try the new subway system to make it happen? Will there be incentives to achieve this goal? There is hope for this idea to work, but no data is provided to deal with potential reluctance from the public.
Another major point made in the text above is the complaint of the inconsistency and lack of safety in buses. One may presume that the subway may deal with the issue of inconsistency. However, the lack of safety is not addressed in this plan. The subway's availability of 24 hours may provide a new venue for this issue to be exacerbated. As a whole, this complements the idea of the reluctance citizen's may have to utilize the subway.
Lastly, the whole argument is tied to the idea that less traffic time will lead to an immediate increase in worker productivity. The term "worker productivity" is ambiguous. How will this metric be measured? Who qualifies as a worker? What is the specific time frame they are looking for to define an improvement? Is this how the mayor plans to boast about the "success" of this plan? There are many questions that need to be answered to consider this plan to have a foundation.
At first glance the mayor's plan to improve productivity by reducing traffic with an expensive subway system may seem to be flawless. After all, who doesn't prefer less time spent in traffic? But the plan lacks reasoning and data to explain its basic premise. Will the citizens embrace the idea of choosing the system over the commodity of their own vehicles? Will the mayor address safety in this new transportation system? What will be the indication that worker productivity improved? As it stands the argument presents many flaws, and many questions need to be answered before this project is deemed appropriate.
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Comments
Essay evaluation report
Attribute Value Ideal
Final score: 4.5 out of 6
Category: Good Excellent
No. of Grammatical Errors: 0 2
No. of Spelling Errors: 0 2
No. of Sentences: 29 15
No. of Words: 470 350
No. of Characters: 2172 1500
No. of Different Words: 215 200
Fourth Root of Number of Words: 4.656 4.7
Average Word Length: 4.621 4.6
Word Length SD: 2.574 2.4
No. of Words greater than 5 chars: 144 100
No. of Words greater than 6 chars: 106 80
No. of Words greater than 7 chars: 71 40
No. of Words greater than 8 chars: 42 20
Use of Passive Voice (%): 0 0
Avg. Sentence Length: 16.207 21.0
Sentence Length SD: 6.718 7.5
Use of Discourse Markers (%): 0.483 0.12
Sentence-Text Coherence: 0.254 0.35
Sentence-Para Coherence: 0.442 0.50
Sentence-Sentence Coherence: 0.043 0.07
Number of Paragraphs: 5 5
Grammar and spelling errors:
Line 5, column 248, Rule ID: POSSESIVE_APOSTROPHE[1]
Message: Possible typo: apostrophe is missing. Did you mean 'subways'' or 'subway's'?
Suggestion: subways'; subway's
...fety is not addressed in this plan. The subways availability of 24 hours may provide a ...
^^^^^^^
Line 9, column 149, Rule ID: EN_CONTRACTION_SPELLING
Message: Possible spelling mistake found
Suggestion: doesn't
...may seem to be flawless. After all, who doesnt prefer less time spent in traffic? But ...
^^^^^^
Transition Words or Phrases used:
but, first, however, if, lastly, look, may, nonetheless, so, while, after all, as to
Attributes: Values AverageValues Percentages(Values/AverageValues)% => Comments
Performance on Part of Speech:
To be verbs : 26.0 19.6327345309 132% => OK
Auxiliary verbs: 20.0 12.9520958084 154% => OK
Conjunction : 7.0 11.1786427146 63% => OK
Relative clauses : 10.0 13.6137724551 73% => More relative clauses wanted.
Pronoun: 35.0 28.8173652695 121% => Less pronouns wanted
Preposition: 69.0 55.5748502994 124% => OK
Nominalization: 16.0 16.3942115768 98% => OK
Performance on vocabulary words:
No of characters: 2247.0 2260.96107784 99% => OK
No of words: 469.0 441.139720559 106% => OK
Chars per words: 4.79104477612 5.12650576532 93% => OK
Fourth root words length: 4.65364457471 4.56307096286 102% => OK
Word Length SD: 2.80355013237 2.78398813304 101% => OK
Unique words: 220.0 204.123752495 108% => OK
Unique words percentage: 0.46908315565 0.468620217663 100% => OK
syllable_count: 715.5 705.55239521 101% => OK
avg_syllables_per_word: 1.5 1.59920159681 94% => OK
A sentence (or a clause, phrase) starts by:
Pronoun: 3.0 4.96107784431 60% => OK
Article: 5.0 8.76447105788 57% => OK
Subordination: 6.0 2.70958083832 221% => Less adverbial clause wanted.
Conjunction: 4.0 1.67365269461 239% => Less conjunction wanted as sentence beginning.
Preposition: 4.0 4.22255489022 95% => OK
Performance on sentences:
How many sentences: 29.0 19.7664670659 147% => OK
Sentence length: 16.0 22.8473053892 70% => The Avg. Sentence Length is relatively short.
Sentence length SD: 35.0657951301 57.8364921388 61% => OK
Chars per sentence: 77.4827586207 119.503703932 65% => OK
Words per sentence: 16.1724137931 23.324526521 69% => OK
Discourse Markers: 2.89655172414 5.70786347227 51% => More transition words/phrases wanted.
Paragraphs: 5.0 5.15768463074 97% => OK
Language errors: 2.0 5.25449101796 38% => OK
Sentences with positive sentiment : 12.0 8.20758483034 146% => OK
Sentences with negative sentiment : 8.0 6.88822355289 116% => OK
Sentences with neutral sentiment: 9.0 4.67664670659 192% => OK
What are sentences with positive/Negative/neutral sentiment?
Coherence and Cohesion:
Essay topic to essay body coherence: 0.151190991045 0.218282227539 69% => OK
Sentence topic coherence: 0.0487746538726 0.0743258471296 66% => OK
Sentence topic coherence SD: 0.0461165429047 0.0701772020484 66% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence: 0.102191674009 0.128457276422 80% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence SD: 0.0271169204528 0.0628817314937 43% => Paragraphs are similar to each other. Some content may get duplicated or it is not exactly right on the topic.
Essay readability:
automated_readability_index: 9.2 14.3799401198 64% => Automated_readability_index is low.
flesch_reading_ease: 63.7 48.3550499002 132% => OK
smog_index: 3.1 7.1628742515 43% => Smog_index is low.
flesch_kincaid_grade: 8.4 12.197005988 69% => OK
coleman_liau_index: 10.21 12.5979740519 81% => OK
dale_chall_readability_score: 8.1 8.32208582834 97% => OK
difficult_words: 109.0 98.500998004 111% => OK
linsear_write_formula: 11.0 12.3882235529 89% => OK
gunning_fog: 8.4 11.1389221557 75% => OK
text_standard: 9.0 11.9071856287 76% => OK
What are above readability scores?
---------------------
Rates: 50.0 out of 100
Scores by essay e-grader: 3.0 Out of 6
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Note: the e-grader does NOT examine the meaning of words and ideas. VIP users will receive further evaluations by advanced module of e-grader and human graders.