The following is a recommendation from the Board of Directors of Monarch Books We recommend that Monarch Books open a caf in its store Monarch having been in business at the same location for more than twenty years has a large customer base because it is

Essay topics:

The following is a recommendation from the Board of Directors of Monarch Books.
"We recommend that Monarch Books open a café in its store. Monarch, having been in business at the same location for more than twenty years, has a large customer base because it is known for its wide selection of books on all subjects. Clearly, opening the café would attract more customers. Space could be made for the café by discontinuing the children's book section, which will probably become less popular given that the most recent national census indicated a significant decline in the percentage of the population under age ten. Opening a café will allow Monarch to attract more customers and better compete with Regal Books, which recently opened its own café."
Write a response in which you discuss what questions would need to be answered in order to decide whether the recommendation is likely to have the predicted result. Be sure to explain how the answers to these questions would help to evaluate the recommendation.

The above recommendation suggests that Monarch Books open a cafe in its store.This has been supported by some facts and by comparing the bookstore with another bookstore in its vicinity.But, this argument is based on various assumptions. Thus, on the first glance this argument seems convincing and valid but actually, on a closer inspection, minuscule details can be uncovered which make this statement weak and baseless.

Above argument recommends that there should be a cafe in the store premises because that would lead to attraction of more customers.But, this is just an assumption.There has been nowhere stated that book readers like to have cafes associated with the bookstores.If, there were evidence that a cafe does indeed help with the sales of books, then this argument could hold some relevance.

Another major flaw in the argument is that the board members have suggested replacing the children’s books section with the cafe.But this can actually harm the current customer base of the store.The given conclusion is based on an assumption that the recent national census, which indicates a decline in population under 10; will lead to decrease in number of books being bought for children.This assumption is highly flawed because a country level survey may not hold true for a particular region.More information regarding the statistics is required, like, the current population statistics of that particular area,sales percent of children books in the past years,etc.

Also, as stated earlier, the store is famous for the diverse collection of books.But this assumption fails to take into account that the customers of the store could be children or parents of children.Hence, completely removing a genre of books might hamper their popularity as well as sales.

Lastly, an example of Regal books has been given but what if this recent change leads to decrease in sales?A decision can be made only if questions about its success can be answered.Thus, the recommendation is unconvincing since it is based on assumptions and further detail relating to the above facts required before we deem it relevant and acceptable.

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Average: 6.8 (2 votes)
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Comments

Grammar and spelling errors:
Line 1, column 79, Rule ID: SENTENCE_WHITESPACE
Message: Add a space between sentences
Suggestion: This
... Monarch Books open a cafe in its store.This has been supported by some facts and by...
^^^^
Line 1, column 187, Rule ID: SENTENCE_WHITESPACE
Message: Add a space between sentences
Suggestion: But
... with another bookstore in its vicinity.But, this argument is based on various ass...
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Line 1, column 196, Rule ID: WHITESPACE_RULE
Message: Possible typo: you repeated a whitespace
Suggestion:
...ther bookstore in its vicinity.But, this argument is based on various assumptions...
^^
Line 1, column 246, Rule ID: ON_FIRST_GLANCE[1]
Message: Did you mean 'at'?
Suggestion: at
... is based on various assumptions. Thus, on the first glance this argument seems co...
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Line 3, column 133, Rule ID: SENTENCE_WHITESPACE
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Suggestion: But
...ld lead to attraction of more customers.But, this is just an assumption.There has b...
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Line 3, column 165, Rule ID: SENTENCE_WHITESPACE
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Suggestion: There
...stomers.But, this is just an assumption.There has been nowhere stated that book reade...
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Line 3, column 263, Rule ID: SENTENCE_WHITESPACE
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Suggestion: If
...ve cafes associated with the bookstores.If, there were evidence that a cafe does i...
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Line 5, column 130, Rule ID: SENTENCE_WHITESPACE
Message: Add a space between sentences
Suggestion: But
... children’s books section with the cafe.But this can actually harm the current cust...
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Line 5, column 196, Rule ID: SENTENCE_WHITESPACE
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Suggestion: The
... the current customer base of the store.The given conclusion is based on an assumpt...
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Line 5, column 393, Rule ID: SENTENCE_WHITESPACE
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Suggestion: This
...mber of books being bought for children.This assumption is highly flawed because a c...
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Line 5, column 499, Rule ID: SENTENCE_WHITESPACE
Message: Add a space between sentences
Suggestion: More
...y not hold true for a particular region.More information regarding the statistics is...
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Line 5, column 559, Rule ID: WHITESPACE_RULE
Message: Possible typo: you repeated a whitespace
Suggestion:
...arding the statistics is required, like, the current population statistics of tha...
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Line 5, column 618, Rule ID: COMMA_PARENTHESIS_WHITESPACE
Message: Put a space after the comma
Suggestion: , sales
...ation statistics of that particular area,sales percent of children books in the past y...
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Line 5, column 668, Rule ID: COMMA_PARENTHESIS_WHITESPACE
Message: Put a space after the comma
Suggestion: , etc
...cent of children books in the past years,etc. Also, as stated earlier, the store ...
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Line 7, column 82, Rule ID: SENTENCE_WHITESPACE
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Suggestion: But
...ous for the diverse collection of books.But this assumption fails to take into acco...
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Line 7, column 202, Rule ID: SENTENCE_WHITESPACE
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Suggestion: Hence
...ould be children or parents of children.Hence, completely removing a genre of books m...
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Line 9, column 108, Rule ID: SENTENCE_WHITESPACE
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Suggestion: A
...ecent change leads to decrease in sales?A decision can be made only if questions ...
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Line 9, column 183, Rule ID: SENTENCE_WHITESPACE
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Suggestion: Thus
...tions about its success can be answered.Thus, the recommendation is unconvincing sin...
^^^^

Transition Words or Phrases used:
actually, also, but, first, hence, if, lastly, may, regarding, so, then, thus, well, as well as

Attributes: Values AverageValues Percentages(Values/AverageValues)% => Comments

Performance on Part of Speech:
To be verbs : 19.0 19.6327345309 97% => OK
Auxiliary verbs: 11.0 12.9520958084 85% => OK
Conjunction : 10.0 11.1786427146 89% => OK
Relative clauses : 11.0 13.6137724551 81% => OK
Pronoun: 26.0 28.8173652695 90% => OK
Preposition: 48.0 55.5748502994 86% => OK
Nominalization: 21.0 16.3942115768 128% => OK

Performance on vocabulary words:
No of characters: 1807.0 2260.96107784 80% => OK
No of words: 340.0 441.139720559 77% => More content wanted.
Chars per words: 5.31470588235 5.12650576532 104% => OK
Fourth root words length: 4.29407602571 4.56307096286 94% => OK
Word Length SD: 3.00814781671 2.78398813304 108% => OK
Unique words: 193.0 204.123752495 95% => More unique words wanted.
Unique words percentage: 0.567647058824 0.468620217663 121% => OK
syllable_count: 552.6 705.55239521 78% => OK
avg_syllables_per_word: 1.6 1.59920159681 100% => OK

A sentence (or a clause, phrase) starts by:
Pronoun: 4.0 4.96107784431 81% => OK
Article: 7.0 8.76447105788 80% => OK
Subordination: 1.0 2.70958083832 37% => OK
Conjunction: 2.0 1.67365269461 119% => OK
Preposition: 3.0 4.22255489022 71% => OK

Performance on sentences:
How many sentences: 6.0 19.7664670659 30% => Need more sentences. Double check the format of sentences, make sure there is a space between two sentences, or have enough periods. And also check the lengths of sentences, maybe they are too long.
Sentence length: 56.0 22.8473053892 245% => The Avg. Sentence Length is relatively long.
Sentence length SD: 157.881548426 57.8364921388 273% => The lengths of sentences changed so frequently.
Chars per sentence: 301.166666667 119.503703932 252% => Less chars_per_sentence wanted.
Words per sentence: 56.6666666667 23.324526521 243% => Less words per sentence wanted.
Discourse Markers: 15.8333333333 5.70786347227 277% => Less transition words/phrases wanted.
Paragraphs: 5.0 5.15768463074 97% => OK
Language errors: 18.0 5.25449101796 343% => Less language errors wanted.
Sentences with positive sentiment : 3.0 8.20758483034 37% => More positive sentences wanted.
Sentences with negative sentiment : 3.0 6.88822355289 44% => More negative sentences wanted.
Sentences with neutral sentiment: 0.0 4.67664670659 0% => More facts, knowledge or examples wanted.
What are sentences with positive/Negative/neutral sentiment?

Coherence and Cohesion:
Essay topic to essay body coherence: 0.214225988361 0.218282227539 98% => OK
Sentence topic coherence: 0.109561461579 0.0743258471296 147% => OK
Sentence topic coherence SD: 0.0699973280826 0.0701772020484 100% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence: 0.116221257753 0.128457276422 90% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence SD: 0.026602112381 0.0628817314937 42% => Paragraphs are similar to each other. Some content may get duplicated or it is not exactly right on the topic.

Essay readability:
automated_readability_index: 31.9 14.3799401198 222% => Automated_readability_index is high.
flesch_reading_ease: 14.64 48.3550499002 30% => Flesch_reading_ease is low.
smog_index: 13.0 7.1628742515 181% => OK
flesch_kincaid_grade: 25.1 12.197005988 206% => Flesch kincaid grade is high.
coleman_liau_index: 14.41 12.5979740519 114% => OK
dale_chall_readability_score: 10.92 8.32208582834 131% => OK
difficult_words: 97.0 98.500998004 98% => OK
linsear_write_formula: 19.0 12.3882235529 153% => OK
gunning_fog: 24.4 11.1389221557 219% => Gunning_fog is high.
text_standard: 13.0 11.9071856287 109% => OK
What are above readability scores?

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Rates: 66.67 out of 100
Scores by essay e-grader: 4.0 Out of 6
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Note: the e-grader does NOT examine the meaning of words and ideas. VIP users will receive further evaluations by advanced module of e-grader and human graders.

Attribute Value Ideal
Final score: 4.0 out of 6
Category: Satisfactory Excellent
No. of Grammatical Errors: 9 2
No. of Spelling Errors: 2 2
No. of Sentences: 7 15
No. of Words: 355 350
No. of Characters: 1753 1500
No. of Different Words: 190 200
Fourth Root of Number of Words: 4.341 4.7
Average Word Length: 4.938 4.6
Word Length SD: 2.607 2.4
No. of Words greater than 5 chars: 114 100
No. of Words greater than 6 chars: 93 80
No. of Words greater than 7 chars: 70 40
No. of Words greater than 8 chars: 43 20
Use of Passive Voice (%): 0 0
Avg. Sentence Length: 50.714 21.0
Sentence Length SD: 19.521 7.5
Use of Discourse Markers (%): 1 0.12
Sentence-Text Coherence: 0.455 0.35
Sentence-Para Coherence: 0.841 0.50
Sentence-Sentence Coherence: 0.111 0.07
Number of Paragraphs: 5 5