The following is a recommendation from the Board of Directors of Monarch Books.
"We recommend that Monarch Books open a café in its store. Monarch, having been in business at the same location for more than twenty years, has a large customer base because it is known for its wide selection of books on all subjects. Clearly, opening the café would attract more customers. Space could be made for the café by discontinuing the children's book section, which will probably become less popular given that the most recent national census indicated a significant decline in the percentage of the population under age ten. Opening a café will allow Monarch to attract more customers and better compete with Regal Books, which recently opened its own café."
Write a response in which you discuss what questions would need to be answered in order to decide whether the recommendation is likely to have the predicted result. Be sure to explain how the answers to these questions would help to evaluate the recommendation.
The author's recommendation to open a cafe in monarch books, so as to attract more customers, is filled with gaps and holes. Although, the author's statements seem logical, it is not supported by concrete evidence, and hence, his proposal to open a cafe in the store raises many questions.
To begin with, the author describes monarch as a store, which has been in business at the same location for more than twenty years and has a large customer base. The author does not elaborate on the scope and validity of his statement on monarch having a large customer base. since, the word large is very vague to be estimated, it would be incorrect for the author to base his claim on this particular fact. For example, a large customer base can be ten people or even a thousand people, hence, we cannot make any assumptions on this particular fact. moreover, the author states that, the cafe has been in the same location for more than twenty years. Once again, the author has failed to provide the exact number of years for which the store has been open for, and therefore, it is possible for the store to have been open from past 25 years or even from past 200 years. furthermore, if the store has been open for very long in the same location, it would not be recommended for the store to not make any changes, since, the people might be attracted to the history of the store, rather than their ability to provide refreshments inside the book store by opening a cafe. furthermore, the author states that monarch is known for its wide selection of books on all subjects. hence, this availability of books could be the main attraction for the customers of monarch, and by opening a cafe, it would not make any significant impact on its customers.
Additionally, the author recommends discontinuing the children's book section for making space to open a cafe in the store. The author has used a national census, which indicates a significant decline in the percentage of population under age ten, to prove that children's book will likely become less popular in the near future. since, the survey conducted is on a national level, it does not specifically indicate a decline in population in the location of monarch books. moreover, the census only indicates a decline in the percentage of population under the age of ten, but does not provide any information regarding the kids above the age of 10. hence, the children's book section in monarch might largely consist of books for children between the age of 10-14. Thus, it would not be justified, if the author makes his claim based on this particular census. furthermore, it could be possible for monarch to be famous due to its wide availability of children's books, and by discontinuing this section, it could lead to a decline in its customer base.
Finally, the author makes an analogy of regal books, which recently opened a cafe in its store, monarch books. The author provide sufficient information about regal books to prove that it is a competitor of monarch book, and moreover, there might be any similarities between these two stores to prove that opening a cafe in monarch would make it likely to attract more customers and better compete with regal books.
To summarize, the author is flawed in his statements to prove that, opening a cafe in monarch would likely make the store attract more customers and compete with regal books. hence, his recommendation should not be considered.
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Comments
Essay evaluation report
Attribute Value Ideal
Final score: 3.5 out of 6
Category: Satisfactory Excellent
No. of Grammatical Errors: 0 2
No. of Spelling Errors: 0 2
No. of Sentences: 14 15
No. of Words: 595 350
No. of Characters: 2774 1500
No. of Different Words: 201 200
Fourth Root of Number of Words: 4.939 4.7
Average Word Length: 4.662 4.6
Word Length SD: 2.582 2.4
No. of Words greater than 5 chars: 175 100
No. of Words greater than 6 chars: 131 80
No. of Words greater than 7 chars: 87 40
No. of Words greater than 8 chars: 59 20
Use of Passive Voice (%): 0 0
Avg. Sentence Length: 42.5 21.0
Sentence Length SD: 21.48 7.5
Use of Discourse Markers (%): 0.857 0.12
Sentence-Text Coherence: 0.455 0.35
Sentence-Para Coherence: 0.665 0.50
Sentence-Sentence Coherence: 0.218 0.07
Number of Paragraphs: 5 5
Grammar and spelling errors:
Line 1, column 5, Rule ID: POSSESIVE_APOSTROPHE[1]
Message: Possible typo: apostrophe is missing. Did you mean 'authors'' or 'author's'?
Suggestion: authors'; author's
The authors recommendation to open a cafe in monarc...
^^^^^^^
Line 1, column 61, Rule ID: SO_AS_TO[1]
Message: Use simply 'to'
Suggestion: to
...dation to open a cafe in monarch books, so as to attract more customers, is filled with ...
^^^^^^^^
Line 7, column 277, Rule ID: UPPERCASE_SENTENCE_START
Message: This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
Suggestion: Since
...n monarch having a large customer base. since, the word large is very vague to be est...
^^^^^
Line 7, column 553, Rule ID: UPPERCASE_SENTENCE_START
Message: This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
Suggestion: Moreover
...ny assumptions on this particular fact. moreover, the author states that, the cafe has b...
^^^^^^^^
Line 7, column 874, Rule ID: UPPERCASE_SENTENCE_START
Message: This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
Suggestion: Furthermore
...t 25 years or even from past 200 years. furthermore, if the store has been open for very lo...
^^^^^^^^^^^
Line 7, column 1174, Rule ID: UPPERCASE_SENTENCE_START
Message: This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
Suggestion: Furthermore
...nside the book store by opening a cafe. furthermore, the author states that monarch is know...
^^^^^^^^^^^
Line 7, column 1276, Rule ID: UPPERCASE_SENTENCE_START
Message: This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
Suggestion: Hence
...ide selection of books on all subjects. hence, this availability of books could be th...
^^^^^
Line 13, column 329, Rule ID: UPPERCASE_SENTENCE_START
Message: This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
Suggestion: Since
...become less popular in the near future. since, the survey conducted is on a national ...
^^^^^
Line 13, column 473, Rule ID: UPPERCASE_SENTENCE_START
Message: This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
Suggestion: Moreover
...ation in the location of monarch books. moreover, the census only indicates a decline in...
^^^^^^^^
Line 13, column 650, Rule ID: UPPERCASE_SENTENCE_START
Message: This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
Suggestion: Hence
...regarding the kids above the age of 10. hence, the childrens book section in monarch ...
^^^^^
Line 13, column 861, Rule ID: UPPERCASE_SENTENCE_START
Message: This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
Suggestion: Furthermore
... claim based on this particular census. furthermore, it could be possible for monarch to be...
^^^^^^^^^^^
Line 19, column 123, Rule ID: MASS_AGREEMENT[2]
Message: Possible agreement error - use third-person verb forms for singular and mass nouns: 'provides'.
Suggestion: provides
...in its store, monarch books. The author provide sufficient information about regal book...
^^^^^^^
Line 25, column 176, Rule ID: UPPERCASE_SENTENCE_START
Message: This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
Suggestion: Hence
...customers and compete with regal books. hence, his recommendation should not be consi...
^^^^^
Transition Words or Phrases used:
but, finally, furthermore, hence, if, moreover, regarding, so, therefore, thus, as to, for example, to begin with
Attributes: Values AverageValues Percentages(Values/AverageValues)% => Comments
Performance on Part of Speech:
To be verbs : 24.0 19.6327345309 122% => OK
Auxiliary verbs: 16.0 12.9520958084 124% => OK
Conjunction : 13.0 11.1786427146 116% => OK
Relative clauses : 10.0 13.6137724551 73% => More relative clauses wanted.
Pronoun: 36.0 28.8173652695 125% => Less pronouns wanted
Preposition: 84.0 55.5748502994 151% => OK
Nominalization: 18.0 16.3942115768 110% => OK
Performance on vocabulary words:
No of characters: 2874.0 2260.96107784 127% => OK
No of words: 595.0 441.139720559 135% => OK
Chars per words: 4.83025210084 5.12650576532 94% => OK
Fourth root words length: 4.93888872473 4.56307096286 108% => OK
Word Length SD: 2.64907006426 2.78398813304 95% => OK
Unique words: 219.0 204.123752495 107% => OK
Unique words percentage: 0.368067226891 0.468620217663 79% => More unique words wanted or less content wanted.
syllable_count: 918.0 705.55239521 130% => OK
avg_syllables_per_word: 1.5 1.59920159681 94% => OK
A sentence (or a clause, phrase) starts by:
Pronoun: 13.0 4.96107784431 262% => Less pronouns wanted as sentence beginning.
Article: 19.0 8.76447105788 217% => Less articles wanted as sentence beginning.
Subordination: 2.0 2.70958083832 74% => OK
Conjunction: 6.0 1.67365269461 358% => Less conjunction wanted as sentence beginning.
Preposition: 3.0 4.22255489022 71% => OK
Performance on sentences:
How many sentences: 22.0 19.7664670659 111% => OK
Sentence length: 27.0 22.8473053892 118% => OK
Sentence length SD: 60.5936369842 57.8364921388 105% => OK
Chars per sentence: 130.636363636 119.503703932 109% => OK
Words per sentence: 27.0454545455 23.324526521 116% => OK
Discourse Markers: 5.13636363636 5.70786347227 90% => OK
Paragraphs: 5.0 5.15768463074 97% => OK
Language errors: 13.0 5.25449101796 247% => Less language errors wanted.
Sentences with positive sentiment : 7.0 8.20758483034 85% => OK
Sentences with negative sentiment : 4.0 6.88822355289 58% => More negative sentences wanted.
Sentences with neutral sentiment: 11.0 4.67664670659 235% => Less facts, knowledge or examples wanted.
What are sentences with positive/Negative/neutral sentiment?
Coherence and Cohesion:
Essay topic to essay body coherence: 0.398415102811 0.218282227539 183% => OK
Sentence topic coherence: 0.147250525981 0.0743258471296 198% => OK
Sentence topic coherence SD: 0.091489745043 0.0701772020484 130% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence: 0.235271718408 0.128457276422 183% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence SD: 0.0911872123081 0.0628817314937 145% => OK
Essay readability:
automated_readability_index: 14.8 14.3799401198 103% => OK
flesch_reading_ease: 52.53 48.3550499002 109% => OK
smog_index: 8.8 7.1628742515 123% => OK
flesch_kincaid_grade: 12.6 12.197005988 103% => OK
coleman_liau_index: 11.03 12.5979740519 88% => OK
dale_chall_readability_score: 7.42 8.32208582834 89% => OK
difficult_words: 92.0 98.500998004 93% => OK
linsear_write_formula: 13.5 12.3882235529 109% => OK
gunning_fog: 12.8 11.1389221557 115% => OK
text_standard: 13.0 11.9071856287 109% => OK
What are above readability scores?
---------------------
Rates: 66.67 out of 100
Scores by essay e-grader: 4.0 Out of 6
---------------------
Note: the e-grader does NOT examine the meaning of words and ideas. VIP users will receive further evaluations by advanced module of e-grader and human graders.