"Manned space flight is costly and dangerous. Moreover, the recent success of a series of unmanned space probes and satellites has demonstrated that a great deal of useful information can be gathered without the costs and risks associated with sending men and women into space. Therefore, we should invest our resources in unmanned space flight."
The author claims in the following passage that we should invest our resources and time to develop unmanned space flight instead of manned flight because they will be benficial. Here the author's claim is based on very week assumptions of the recent success of unmanned probes and satellites and other assumptions which are discussed in detail in the following paragraphs.
The first and very week assumption presented by the author to support his claim is that manned space flight is costly and dangerous. The author did not provide any factual or quantitative data that how much costly is that which could be use to draw analogy against the unmanned flights. The author should provide that what is the nature of the cost, either it is money, it is time or its any other resource and provide a data on facts and figures. Also author did not provide that why is the manned space flight is dangerous, whether its in term on human loss, or environmental dangerous or its dangerous for people on earth.
The next week assumption which the author used to support his claim is that the author favors the unmanned flights becuase recently some unmanned flights were successful in gathering data from the space. Here the author again did not provide any information about the type and extent of the data it fetches from the space. The author should provide the type of information that these unmanned flights fetches from the space so the reader can compare with the usefulness of the data gather by the manned flights. Also the author mentions that a series of successfull missions, so the author should provide that this much turns out to be successfull while also provide that this much are unsucessful so we can compare this ratio with the sucessfulness ratio of the manned flights.
The author should also provide the information of the costs and efforts involved in developing a unmanned flight , so this can be compared with the costs and effors involved in developing manned flight. From this information, one can directly draw the conclusion that which choice is best. It may be possible that associated costs in bulidiing unmanned or so high that state decide to invest resources in making the manned flights more efficient and dafe to use.
Comments
e-rater score report
Attribute Value Ideal
Final score: 3.5 out of 6
Category: Satisfactory Excellent
No. of Grammatical Errors: 0 2
No. of Spelling Errors: 0 2
No. of Sentences: 13 15
No. of Words: 382 350
No. of Characters: 1838 1500
No. of Different Words: 152 200
Fourth Root of Number of Words: 4.421 4.7
Average Word Length: 4.812 4.6
Word Length SD: 2.461 2.4
No. of Words greater than 5 chars: 138 100
No. of Words greater than 6 chars: 88 80
No. of Words greater than 7 chars: 54 40
No. of Words greater than 8 chars: 36 20
Use of Passive Voice (%): 0 0
Avg. Sentence Length: 29.385 21.0
Sentence Length SD: 6.945 7.5
Use of Discourse Markers (%): 0.462 0.12
Sentence-Text Coherence: 0.438 0.35
Sentence-Para Coherence: 0.438 0.50
Sentence-Sentence Coherence: 0.189 0.07
Number of Paragraphs: 1 5
Grammar and spelling errors:
Line 2, column 237, Rule ID: BE_USE_TO_DO[1]
Message: Did you mean 'used'?
Suggestion: used
... how much costly is that which could be use to draw analogy against the unmanned fl...
^^^
Line 2, column 237, Rule ID: USE_TO_VERB[1]
Message: Did you mean 'used'?
Suggestion: used
... how much costly is that which could be use to draw analogy against the unmanned fl...
^^^
Line 2, column 287, Rule ID: ENGLISH_WORD_REPEAT_BEGINNING_RULE
Message: Three successive sentences begin with the same word. Reword the sentence or use a thesaurus to find a synonym.
...w analogy against the unmanned flights. The author should provide that what is the ...
^^^
Line 2, column 448, Rule ID: SENT_START_CONJUNCTIVE_LINKING_ADVERB_COMMA[1]
Message: Did you forget a comma after a conjunctive/linking adverb?
Suggestion: Also,
...nd provide a data on facts and figures. Also author did not provide that why is the ...
^^^^
Line 3, column 512, Rule ID: SENT_START_CONJUNCTIVE_LINKING_ADVERB_COMMA[1]
Message: Did you forget a comma after a conjunctive/linking adverb?
Suggestion: Also,
... the data gather by the manned flights. Also the author mentions that a series of su...
^^^^
Line 3, column 615, Rule ID: MUCH_COUNTABLE[1]
Message: Use 'many' with countable nouns.
Suggestion: many
... so the author should provide that this much turns out to be successfull while also ...
^^^^
Line 4, column 96, Rule ID: EN_A_VS_AN
Message: Use 'an' instead of 'a' if the following word starts with a vowel sound, e.g. 'an article', 'an hour'
Suggestion: an
...osts and efforts involved in developing a unmanned flight , so this can be compar...
^
Line 4, column 113, Rule ID: COMMA_PARENTHESIS_WHITESPACE
Message: Put a space after the comma, but not before the comma
Suggestion: ,
...involved in developing a unmanned flight , so this can be compared with the costs ...
^^
Transition Words or Phrases used:
also, first, may, so, while
Attributes: Values AverageValues Percentages(Values/AverageValues)% => Comments
Performance on Part of Speech:
To be verbs : 19.0 19.6327345309 97% => OK
Auxiliary verbs: 12.0 12.9520958084 93% => OK
Conjunction : 16.0 11.1786427146 143% => OK
Relative clauses : 18.0 13.6137724551 132% => OK
Pronoun: 33.0 28.8173652695 115% => OK
Preposition: 42.0 55.5748502994 76% => OK
Nominalization: 6.0 16.3942115768 37% => More nominalizations (nouns with a suffix like: tion ment ence ance) wanted.
Performance on vocabulary words:
No of characters: 1863.0 2260.96107784 82% => OK
No of words: 382.0 441.139720559 87% => More content wanted.
Chars per words: 4.87696335079 5.12650576532 95% => OK
Fourth root words length: 4.42095241839 4.56307096286 97% => OK
Word Length SD: 2.50806360671 2.78398813304 90% => OK
Unique words: 156.0 204.123752495 76% => More unique words wanted.
Unique words percentage: 0.408376963351 0.468620217663 87% => More unique words wanted or less content wanted.
syllable_count: 570.6 705.55239521 81% => OK
avg_syllables_per_word: 1.5 1.59920159681 94% => OK
A sentence (or a clause, phrase) starts by:
Pronoun: 2.0 4.96107784431 40% => OK
Article: 7.0 8.76447105788 80% => OK
Subordination: 0.0 2.70958083832 0% => More adverbial clause wanted.
Conjunction: 1.0 1.67365269461 60% => OK
Preposition: 1.0 4.22255489022 24% => More preposition wanted as sentence beginning.
Performance on sentences:
How many sentences: 13.0 19.7664670659 66% => Need more sentences. Double check the format of sentences, make sure there is a space between two sentences, or have enough periods. And also check the lengths of sentences, maybe they are too long.
Sentence length: 29.0 22.8473053892 127% => The Avg. Sentence Length is relatively long.
Sentence length SD: 42.8366927822 57.8364921388 74% => OK
Chars per sentence: 143.307692308 119.503703932 120% => OK
Words per sentence: 29.3846153846 23.324526521 126% => OK
Discourse Markers: 2.07692307692 5.70786347227 36% => More transition words/phrases wanted.
Paragraphs: 4.0 5.15768463074 78% => More paragraphs wanted.
Language errors: 8.0 5.25449101796 152% => OK
Sentences with positive sentiment : 5.0 8.20758483034 61% => OK
Sentences with negative sentiment : 3.0 6.88822355289 44% => More negative sentences wanted.
Sentences with neutral sentiment: 5.0 4.67664670659 107% => OK
What are sentences with positive/Negative/neutral sentiment?
Coherence and Cohesion:
Essay topic to essay body coherence: 0.304506258963 0.218282227539 140% => OK
Sentence topic coherence: 0.132442989586 0.0743258471296 178% => OK
Sentence topic coherence SD: 0.067210882581 0.0701772020484 96% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence: 0.206001405533 0.128457276422 160% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence SD: 0.0340267838565 0.0628817314937 54% => OK
Essay readability:
automated_readability_index: 16.2 14.3799401198 113% => OK
flesch_reading_ease: 50.5 48.3550499002 104% => OK
smog_index: 8.8 7.1628742515 123% => OK
flesch_kincaid_grade: 13.4 12.197005988 110% => OK
coleman_liau_index: 11.62 12.5979740519 92% => OK
dale_chall_readability_score: 7.68 8.32208582834 92% => OK
difficult_words: 63.0 98.500998004 64% => More difficult words wanted.
linsear_write_formula: 13.0 12.3882235529 105% => OK
gunning_fog: 13.6 11.1389221557 122% => OK
text_standard: 14.0 11.9071856287 118% => OK
What are above readability scores?
---------------------
Rates: 58.33 out of 100
Scores by essay e-grader: 3.5 Out of 6
---------------------
Note: the e-grader does NOT examine the meaning of words and ideas. VIP users will receive further evaluations by advanced module of e-grader and human graders.