Milk and dairy products are rich in vitamin D and calcium-substances essential for building and maintaining bones. Many people therefore say that a diet rich in dairy products can help prevent osteoporosis, a disease that is linked to both environmental and genetic factors and that causes the bones to weaken significantly with age. But a long-term study of a large number of people found that those who consistently consumed dairy products throughout the years of the study have a higher rate of bone fractures than any other participants in the study. Since bone fractures are symptomatic of osteoporosis, this study result shows that a diet rich in dairy products may actually increase, rather than decrease, the risk of osteoporosis.
Here the author claims about the consumption of dairy products in which if one will take milk and dairy products regularly can elleviate osteoporosis and make their bones more strong. But a long term study of a large number of people found that those who consistently consumed dairy products, have a higher rate of bone fractures which is stated in this way, the argument distortsthe view of the situation by providing weak evidences and fails several key factors, on the basis of which the risk of osteoporosis can be evaluated. How ever, careful scrutiny of the evidence reveals that it provides little credible support for the author's recommendation. Hence, the argument can be considered unsubstantiated.
First of all, the author mentions that milk and other dairy products are helpful in soothing the effect of osteoporosis which occurs in lack of vitamin D and calcium. By having large amount of dairy products may provide these substances which can be used for reducing osteoporosis. Here the author didn't mantioned about the side effects of those products by which one can get vitamin D and calcium but those products may not provide other type of vitamins which are most significant for energy to do hard work. There may possibility that after the survey of those dairy products, people started more amount of dairy products which may not provide other substances and as a consequence the person may feel fatigue which yields harmful eccidents and as a result the fracture of bones may occur.
Moreover, after the long-term study of people who consumes rich amount of dairy products are resulted incresed number of bone fractures. But here, the author not mentioned about the other people's condition by which one can evaluate the outcome. Only observation of small number of people, one can't provide accurate result about the osteoporosis disease. Also the author, didn't mentioned the age of people, which are under study.
Nevertheless, the disease named osteoporosis occurs with less number of vitamin D and calcium which can be grasp from milk and other dairy products, but what are the other significant substances which are more likely to have to strong our bones? Here, the author didn't mentioned the other type of substances which can be take form other foods. By only taking vitamin D and calcium are not sufficient to fight against osteoporosis disease.
In conclusion, the author's argument is unpersuasive as it stands. To bolster it further, the author must provide more concrete evidence through which one can get accurate outcome that how one can fight against osteoporosis disease. Finally, to better evaluate the argument, it would be necessary to know more about the side effects of dairy products and the other type of food which may reduce osteoporosis disease. So, we can't say specifically regarding the dairy food products which increases risk of osteoporosis rather than decrease.
| Post date | Users | Rates | Link to Content |
|---|---|---|---|
| 2023-01-18 | vrajgparekh | 78 | view |
| 2022-11-16 | raghavchauhan619 | 78 | view |
| 2022-11-02 | sajiniS | 58 | view |
| 2022-10-28 | bissu | 33 | view |
| 2022-10-22 | patty.patt | 58 | view |
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Comments
e-rater score report
Attribute Value Ideal
Final score: 4.5 out of 6
Category: Good Excellent
No. of Grammatical Errors: 0 2
No. of Spelling Errors: 11 2
No. of Sentences: 19 15
No. of Words: 479 350
No. of Characters: 2400 1500
No. of Different Words: 202 200
Fourth Root of Number of Words: 4.678 4.7
Average Word Length: 5.01 4.6
Word Length SD: 2.654 2.4
No. of Words greater than 5 chars: 169 100
No. of Words greater than 6 chars: 126 80
No. of Words greater than 7 chars: 89 40
No. of Words greater than 8 chars: 48 20
Use of Passive Voice (%): 0 0
Avg. Sentence Length: 25.211 21.0
Sentence Length SD: 13.462 7.5
Use of Discourse Markers (%): 0.737 0.12
Sentence-Text Coherence: 0.406 0.35
Sentence-Para Coherence: 0.59 0.50
Sentence-Sentence Coherence: 0.127 0.07
Number of Paragraphs: 5 5
Grammar and spelling errors:
Line 1, column 73, Rule ID: IF_IS[2]
Message: Did you mean 'is'?
Suggestion: is
... consumption of dairy products in which if one will take milk and dairy products r...
^^
Line 1, column 210, Rule ID: LARGE_NUMBER_OF[1]
Message: Specify a number, remove phrase, or simply use 'many' or 'numerous'
Suggestion: many; numerous
...s more strong. But a long term study of a large number of people found that those who consistentl...
^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^
Line 1, column 531, Rule ID: HOW_EVER[1]
Message: Did you mean 'however'?
Suggestion: However
... risk of osteoporosis can be evaluated. How ever, careful scrutiny of the evidence revea...
^^^^^^^^
Line 1, column 631, Rule ID: POSSESIVE_APOSTROPHE[2]
Message: Possible typo: apostrophe is missing. Did you mean 'authors'' or 'author's'?
Suggestion: authors'; author's
...rovides little credible support for the authors recommendation. Hence, the argument can...
^^^^^^^
Line 3, column 299, Rule ID: EN_CONTRACTION_SPELLING
Message: Possible spelling mistake found
Suggestion: didn't
... reducing osteoporosis. Here the author didnt mantioned about the side effects of tho...
^^^^^
Line 5, column 294, Rule ID: CANT[1]
Message: Did you mean 'can't' or 'cannot'?
Suggestion: can't; cannot
...ervation of small number of people, one cant provide accurate result about the osteo...
^^^^
Line 5, column 355, Rule ID: SENT_START_CONJUNCTIVE_LINKING_ADVERB_COMMA[1]
Message: Did you forget a comma after a conjunctive/linking adverb?
Suggestion: Also,
... result about the osteoporosis disease. Also the author, didnt mentioned the age of ...
^^^^
Line 5, column 372, Rule ID: EN_CONTRACTION_SPELLING
Message: Possible spelling mistake found
Suggestion: didn't
... osteoporosis disease. Also the author, didnt mentioned the age of people, which are ...
^^^^^
Line 7, column 264, Rule ID: EN_CONTRACTION_SPELLING
Message: Possible spelling mistake found
Suggestion: didn't
...e to strong our bones? Here, the author didnt mentioned the other type of substances ...
^^^^^
Line 9, column 20, Rule ID: POSSESIVE_APOSTROPHE[1]
Message: Possible typo: apostrophe is missing. Did you mean 'authors'' or 'author's'?
Suggestion: authors'; author's
...oporosis disease. In conclusion, the authors argument is unpersuasive as it stands. ...
^^^^^^^
Line 9, column 424, Rule ID: CANT[1]
Message: Did you mean 'can't' or 'cannot'?
Suggestion: can't; cannot
...may reduce osteoporosis disease. So, we cant say specifically regarding the dairy fo...
^^^^
Transition Words or Phrases used:
also, but, finally, first, hence, if, may, moreover, nevertheless, regarding, so, in conclusion, as a result, first of all
Attributes: Values AverageValues Percentages(Values/AverageValues)% => Comments
Performance on Part of Speech:
To be verbs : 15.0 19.6327345309 76% => OK
Auxiliary verbs: 20.0 12.9520958084 154% => OK
Conjunction : 16.0 11.1786427146 143% => OK
Relative clauses : 24.0 13.6137724551 176% => OK
Pronoun: 18.0 28.8173652695 62% => OK
Preposition: 60.0 55.5748502994 108% => OK
Nominalization: 12.0 16.3942115768 73% => OK
Performance on vocabulary words:
No of characters: 2448.0 2260.96107784 108% => OK
No of words: 476.0 441.139720559 108% => OK
Chars per words: 5.14285714286 5.12650576532 100% => OK
Fourth root words length: 4.67091256922 4.56307096286 102% => OK
Word Length SD: 2.70865378193 2.78398813304 97% => OK
Unique words: 207.0 204.123752495 101% => OK
Unique words percentage: 0.43487394958 0.468620217663 93% => More unique words wanted or less content wanted.
syllable_count: 774.0 705.55239521 110% => OK
avg_syllables_per_word: 1.6 1.59920159681 100% => OK
A sentence (or a clause, phrase) starts by:
Pronoun: 2.0 4.96107784431 40% => OK
Article: 8.0 8.76447105788 91% => OK
Subordination: 1.0 2.70958083832 37% => OK
Conjunction: 3.0 1.67365269461 179% => OK
Preposition: 7.0 4.22255489022 166% => OK
Performance on sentences:
How many sentences: 19.0 19.7664670659 96% => OK
Sentence length: 25.0 22.8473053892 109% => OK
Sentence length SD: 75.2927435409 57.8364921388 130% => OK
Chars per sentence: 128.842105263 119.503703932 108% => OK
Words per sentence: 25.0526315789 23.324526521 107% => OK
Discourse Markers: 6.42105263158 5.70786347227 112% => OK
Paragraphs: 5.0 5.15768463074 97% => OK
Language errors: 11.0 5.25449101796 209% => Less language errors wanted.
Sentences with positive sentiment : 9.0 8.20758483034 110% => OK
Sentences with negative sentiment : 6.0 6.88822355289 87% => OK
Sentences with neutral sentiment: 4.0 4.67664670659 86% => OK
What are sentences with positive/Negative/neutral sentiment?
Coherence and Cohesion:
Essay topic to essay body coherence: 0.278696513298 0.218282227539 128% => OK
Sentence topic coherence: 0.105156210683 0.0743258471296 141% => OK
Sentence topic coherence SD: 0.0765934674476 0.0701772020484 109% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence: 0.178210955626 0.128457276422 139% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence SD: 0.0403657105387 0.0628817314937 64% => OK
Essay readability:
automated_readability_index: 15.3 14.3799401198 106% => OK
flesch_reading_ease: 46.1 48.3550499002 95% => OK
smog_index: 8.8 7.1628742515 123% => OK
flesch_kincaid_grade: 13.0 12.197005988 107% => OK
coleman_liau_index: 12.83 12.5979740519 102% => OK
dale_chall_readability_score: 8.03 8.32208582834 96% => OK
difficult_words: 95.0 98.500998004 96% => OK
linsear_write_formula: 19.0 12.3882235529 153% => OK
gunning_fog: 12.0 11.1389221557 108% => OK
text_standard: 13.0 11.9071856287 109% => OK
What are above readability scores?
---------------------
Rates: 66.67 out of 100
Scores by essay e-grader: 4.0 Out of 6
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Note: the e-grader does NOT examine the meaning of words and ideas. VIP users will receive further evaluations by advanced module of e-grader and human graders.