Considering the low temperature and high demand for heating oil, the firm suggests its client to invest in Consolidated Industries, whose major business is the retail sale of heating oil. Before the client make the decision, he should, however, think carefully about the following questions. Is it true that the weather will continue to be low in the northeastern United States? Does a low temperature indicate a high demand for heating oil? Does a high demand for heating oil predict more revenue for Consolidated Industries? Without these questions justified, we cannot reach the conclusion that the client should invest the Consolidated Industries.
First of all, by citing last year's weather and local weather forecasters, the firm claims that the temperature will stay low in winter in the coming years. It might be the case that weather changes moderately from year to year, and thus we can predict a cold winter based on last year's low temperature. However, weather is usually quite random and we just cannot reach a solid conclusion based on the past. By citing local weather forecasters, the firm would like to add credibility to its argument. However, as many details are missing, the citation seems pointless. For example, we do not know who these forecasters are, whether they have a relevant degree, and whether they are experienced. To strengthen the argument, the firm needs to add more sources and details justifying why the weather will stay low in the coming year.
Even if we estimate a low temperature in the coming years, we cannot jump to the conclusion that the demand for heating oil will increase. While "Homes, ..., traditionally used oil as their major fuel for heating", we cannot simply conclude they will continue do so in the coming year. It is possible that homes switch to a hybrid mode when facing low temperature. For example, homes can, at the same time, use electricity and oil for heating. From this point of view, we cannot guarantee an increase in demand for oil. Also, by mentioning there are many new home built, the company predicts that the demand of oil will grow. This seemingly correct argument is based on the unjustified assumption that the population will grow. This assumption is unconvincing, as we can claim a decrease in population due to bad weather. Regardless of whether people will continue using oil and weather the population will grow, the firm does not show a connection between low temperature and high demand for oil.
Building upon the implication that an increase in demand for oil will lead to increase in revenue for the Consolidated Industries, the firm persuades the client to invest the Consolidated Industries. We need to think about the share of heating oil before jump to the conclusion. The firm only mentions that for Consolidated Industries, "... major business operations is the retail sale of home heating oil", but more data and statistics are needed to build the relationship between heating oil and Consolidated Industries. Also, as a client, the ultimate goal is to invest companies whose revenue will increase. However, the firm fail to build the connection between the increase in demand and the increase in revenue. The revenue from the retail sale is influenced by many factors, like the demand, the policy, and the market. We cannot predict a higher revenue just based on a higher demand.
- Three years ago because of flooding at the Western Palean Wildlife Preserve 100 lions and 100 western gazelles were moved to the East Palean Preserve an area that is home to most of the same species that are found in the western preserve though in larger 53
- Most homes in the northeastern United States where winters are typically cold have traditionally used oil as their major fuel for heating Last heating season that region experienced 90 days with below normal temperatures and climate forecasters predi 60
e-rater score report
Attribute Value Ideal
Final score: 3.5 out of 6
Category: Satisfactory Excellent
No. of Grammatical Errors: 0 2
No. of Spelling Errors: 0 2
No. of Sentences: 29 15
No. of Words: 560 350
No. of Characters: 2737 1500
No. of Different Words: 212 200
Fourth Root of Number of Words: 4.865 4.7
Average Word Length: 4.888 4.6
Word Length SD: 2.67 2.4
No. of Words greater than 5 chars: 199 100
No. of Words greater than 6 chars: 141 80
No. of Words greater than 7 chars: 91 40
No. of Words greater than 8 chars: 63 20
Use of Passive Voice (%): 0 0
Avg. Sentence Length: 19.31 21.0
Sentence Length SD: 6.639 7.5
Use of Discourse Markers (%): 0.448 0.12
Sentence-Text Coherence: 0.316 0.35
Sentence-Para Coherence: 0.463 0.50
Sentence-Sentence Coherence: 0.181 0.07
Number of Paragraphs: 4 5
Grammar and spelling errors:
Line 7, column 102, Rule ID: WHITESPACE_RULE
Message: Possible typo: you repeated a whitespace
Suggestion:
...oil will lead to increase in revenue for the Consolidated Industries, the firm pe...
^^
Transition Words or Phrases used:
also, but, first, however, if, so, then, thus, while, for example, first of all
Attributes: Values AverageValues Percentages(Values/AverageValues)% => Comments
Performance on Part of Speech:
To be verbs : 16.0 19.6327345309 81% => OK
Auxiliary verbs: 25.0 12.9520958084 193% => OK
Conjunction : 14.0 11.1786427146 125% => OK
Relative clauses : 14.0 13.6137724551 103% => OK
Pronoun: 36.0 28.8173652695 125% => Less pronouns wanted
Preposition: 62.0 55.5748502994 112% => OK
Nominalization: 12.0 16.3942115768 73% => OK
Performance on vocabulary words:
No of characters: 2844.0 2260.96107784 126% => OK
No of words: 561.0 441.139720559 127% => OK
Chars per words: 5.06951871658 5.12650576532 99% => OK
Fourth root words length: 4.86676880123 4.56307096286 107% => OK
Word Length SD: 2.80985137524 2.78398813304 101% => OK
Unique words: 229.0 204.123752495 112% => OK
Unique words percentage: 0.408199643494 0.468620217663 87% => More unique words wanted or less content wanted.
syllable_count: 869.4 705.55239521 123% => OK
avg_syllables_per_word: 1.5 1.59920159681 94% => OK
A sentence (or a clause, phrase) starts by:
Pronoun: 12.0 4.96107784431 242% => Less pronouns wanted as sentence beginning.
Article: 13.0 8.76447105788 148% => OK
Subordination: 6.0 2.70958083832 221% => Less adverbial clause wanted.
Conjunction: 4.0 1.67365269461 239% => Less conjunction wanted as sentence beginning.
Preposition: 10.0 4.22255489022 237% => Less preposition wanted as sentence beginnings.
Performance on sentences:
How many sentences: 30.0 19.7664670659 152% => OK
Sentence length: 18.0 22.8473053892 79% => The Avg. Sentence Length is relatively short.
Sentence length SD: 39.2174139325 57.8364921388 68% => OK
Chars per sentence: 94.8 119.503703932 79% => OK
Words per sentence: 18.7 23.324526521 80% => OK
Discourse Markers: 2.63333333333 5.70786347227 46% => More transition words/phrases wanted.
Paragraphs: 4.0 5.15768463074 78% => More paragraphs wanted.
Language errors: 1.0 5.25449101796 19% => OK
Sentences with positive sentiment : 7.0 8.20758483034 85% => OK
Sentences with negative sentiment : 17.0 6.88822355289 247% => Less negative sentences wanted.
Sentences with neutral sentiment: 6.0 4.67664670659 128% => OK
What are sentences with positive/Negative/neutral sentiment?
Coherence and Cohesion:
Essay topic to essay body coherence: 0.19455800258 0.218282227539 89% => OK
Sentence topic coherence: 0.0591461139127 0.0743258471296 80% => OK
Sentence topic coherence SD: 0.0628003974704 0.0701772020484 89% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence: 0.129139721453 0.128457276422 101% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence SD: 0.0522212060165 0.0628817314937 83% => OK
Essay readability:
automated_readability_index: 11.8 14.3799401198 82% => Automated_readability_index is low.
flesch_reading_ease: 61.67 48.3550499002 128% => OK
smog_index: 8.8 7.1628742515 123% => OK
flesch_kincaid_grade: 9.1 12.197005988 75% => OK
coleman_liau_index: 12.13 12.5979740519 96% => OK
dale_chall_readability_score: 7.4 8.32208582834 89% => OK
difficult_words: 102.0 98.500998004 104% => OK
linsear_write_formula: 8.5 12.3882235529 69% => OK
gunning_fog: 9.2 11.1389221557 83% => OK
text_standard: 9.0 11.9071856287 76% => OK
What are above readability scores?
---------------------
Rates: 50.0 out of 100
Scores by essay e-grader: 3.0 Out of 6
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Note: the e-grader does NOT examine the meaning of words and ideas. VIP users will receive further evaluations by advanced module of e-grader and human graders.