A movie producer sent the following memo to the head of the movie studio.
“We need to increase the funding for the movie Working Title by 10% in order to ensure a quality product. As you know, we are working with a first-time director, whose only previous experience has been shooting commercials for a shampoo company. Since the advertising business is notoriously wasteful, it stands to reason that our director will expect to be able to shoot take after take, without concern for how much time is being spent on any one scene. In addition, while we have saved money by hiring relatively inexperienced assistant producers and directors, this savings in salary will undoubtedly translate to greater expenditures in paying the actors and unionized crew overtime for the extra hours they will spend on the set waiting for the assistant directors and producers to arrange things. If we don’t get this extra money, the movie is virtually assured to be a failure.”
It may be possible that without extra funding the movie would fail. But the author journey to reach this conclusion is rife with assumptions and loophole.
The author suggestion of increasing the budget by 10% would ensure a quality product, but in order to suggest this author has assumed that only funding will improve the quality of the movie. It may be possible that the funding is not the bottleneck for the quality but other reasons are contributing to it. For instance, the author has mentioned that they hired inexperienced actors, so this may be the reason of bad quality of movie in such a case whether the funding is raised by 10% or more it will not improve the quality as the actors are lacking the required skills.
Moreover, the author assumed that because the director is from advertising industry, it will require more funding as he will take shot after shot, which may not be entirely true. For instance, to make a good quality movie it is necessary to take a perfect shot so, if the director is taking many shots it because to improve the quality not beacuse he is from advertising industry.
Further, the author has assumed that because the assistant director and producer are inexperience it will take more time for them to arrange the things. It may be possible that they have a particular idea in mind which they just need to impliment , case of proper planning it will not require to pay actors to do overtime and hence paying more money.
It is possible the the with more money quality movie may be produced. But, considering the above argument it is not necessarly true that onlyincreasing funding will improve the movie quality
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Sentence: For instance, to make a good quality movie it is necessary to take a perfect shot so, if the director is taking many shots it because to improve the quality not beacuse he is from advertising industry.
Error: beacuse Suggestion: because
Sentence: It may be possible that they have a particular idea in mind which they just need to impliment , case of proper planning it will not require to pay actors to do overtime and hence paying more money.
Error: impliment Suggestion: implement
Sentence: But, considering the above argument it is not necessarly true that onlyincreasing funding will improve the movie quality
Error: onlyincreasing Suggestion: only increasing
Error: necessarly Suggestion: necessary
flaws:
No. of Words: 289 350
More content wanted.
For issue essays, around 450 words, for argument essays, around 400 words.
Attribute Value Ideal
Score: 4.0 out of 6
Category: Good Excellent
No. of Grammatical Errors: 0 2
No. of Spelling Errors: 4 2
No. of Sentences: 11 15
No. of Words: 289 350
No. of Characters: 1338 1500
No. of Different Words: 125 200
Fourth Root of Number of Words: 4.123 4.7
Average Word Length: 4.63 4.6
Word Length SD: 2.492 2.4
No. of Words greater than 5 chars: 94 100
No. of Words greater than 6 chars: 76 80
No. of Words greater than 7 chars: 38 40
No. of Words greater than 8 chars: 18 20
Use of Passive Voice (%): 0 0
Avg. Sentence Length: 26.273 21.0
Sentence Length SD: 11.418 7.5
Use of Discourse Markers (%): 0.909 0.12
Sentence-Text Coherence: 0.434 0.35
Sentence-Para Coherence: 0.72 0.50
Sentence-Sentence Coherence: 0.185 0.07
Number of Paragraphs: 5 5