"In order to reverse the recent decline in our profits, we must reduce operating expenses at Movies
Galore's ten movie-rental stores. Since we are famous for our special bargains, raising our rental
prices is not a viable way to improve profits. Last month our store in downtown Marston
significantly decreased its operating expenses by closing at 6:00 p.m. rather than 9:00 p.m. and by
reducing its stock by eliminating all movies released more than five years ago. Therefore, in order
to increase profits without jeopardizing our reputation for offering great movies at low prices, we
recommend implementing similar changes in our other nine Movies Galore stores."
In the argument, the author points out a solution to cope with declining profits which is reducing operating costs. He thinks so because increasing the price is not a viable solution as he doesn't want to ruin their reputation of being cheap. However, his position is based on some unwarranted assumptions, which, to make his solution more effective need to be clarified.
First of all, he thinks that reducing operating costs only would help them fight the decline in profit as if, operating cost is the main cause behind the problem. Maybe he is facing a reduction in profit for completely different reasons. Maybe people's taste has changed over time or they are watching movies on different platform such as Netflix or Amazon at a cheaper price. The location of the stores may also play a crucial role. Perhaps his stores are located in such an area where people are not interested in movies or there are other stores that are providing movies at a cheaper rate than that of Movies Galore's. If this is the case, then reducing operating costs is not going to help him fight the crisis.
Secondly, He states, their store in downtown Marston significantly decreased their operating cost by reducing the opening hour and removing older movies from the self. But he doesn't provide any data whether this approach worked or not. He acted as he planned, but we need more data about the act's success. Or his planned just worked for the image they already have, not necessarily for the change they made.
Finally, Let's assume that, reducing operating cost worked fine for the store at Marston. But it doesn't necessarily mean that this approach would also work for the other nine stores as well. Maybe the other stores are located in places where it gets busy after 9.00. So, closing the stores before 9 may actually backfire. There is also a concern about people's tastes. Getting rid of movies older than 5 years may have worked for the store at Marston because people there love newer movies. What if people at other stores come to the store mainly for older movies. If the customer's priority and pick hours are different in the other 9 stores, then the solution, worked for the first one, may not work for the latter.
The author must take a holistic approach to fight declining profit. Maybe He needs to gather more information about customer's choice, what other factors can contribute to a decline in profit and what other approaches he can take to tackle the change. Making contrived change based on vague assumptions will only make his solution impractical and unviable.
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Comments
Essay evaluation report
Attribute Value Ideal
Final score: 3.0 out of 6
Category: Satisfactory Excellent
No. of Grammatical Errors: 0 2
No. of Spelling Errors: 0 2
No. of Sentences: 23 15
No. of Words: 446 350
No. of Characters: 2087 1500
No. of Different Words: 216 200
Fourth Root of Number of Words: 4.596 4.7
Average Word Length: 4.679 4.6
Word Length SD: 2.34 2.4
No. of Words greater than 5 chars: 145 100
No. of Words greater than 6 chars: 93 80
No. of Words greater than 7 chars: 62 40
No. of Words greater than 8 chars: 33 20
Use of Passive Voice (%): 0 0
Avg. Sentence Length: 19.391 21.0
Sentence Length SD: 9.458 7.5
Use of Discourse Markers (%): 0.696 0.12
Sentence-Text Coherence: 0.295 0.35
Sentence-Para Coherence: 0.506 0.50
Sentence-Sentence Coherence: 0.15 0.07
Number of Paragraphs: 5 5
Grammar and spelling errors:
Line 1, column 190, Rule ID: EN_CONTRACTION_SPELLING
Message: Possible spelling mistake found
Suggestion: doesn't
...he price is not a viable solution as he doesnt want to ruin their reputation of being ...
^^^^^^
Line 9, column 176, Rule ID: EN_CONTRACTION_SPELLING
Message: Possible spelling mistake found
Suggestion: doesn't
...ving older movies from the self. But he doesnt provide any data whether this approach ...
^^^^^^
Line 9, column 293, Rule ID: POSSESIVE_APOSTROPHE[2]
Message: Possible typo: apostrophe is missing. Did you mean 'acts'' or 'act's'?
Suggestion: acts'; act's
...lanned, but we need more data about the acts success. Or his planned just worked for...
^^^^
Line 13, column 97, Rule ID: EN_CONTRACTION_SPELLING
Message: Possible spelling mistake found
Suggestion: doesn't
...d fine for the store at Marston. But it doesnt necessarily mean that this approach wou...
^^^^^^
Line 13, column 571, Rule ID: POSSESIVE_APOSTROPHE[1]
Message: Possible typo: apostrophe is missing. Did you mean 'customers'' or 'customer's'?
Suggestion: customers'; customer's
...e store mainly for older movies. If the customers priority and pick hours are different i...
^^^^^^^^^
Transition Words or Phrases used:
actually, also, but, finally, first, however, if, may, second, secondly, so, then, well, such as, first of all
Attributes: Values AverageValues Percentages(Values/AverageValues)% => Comments
Performance on Part of Speech:
To be verbs : 17.0 19.6327345309 87% => OK
Auxiliary verbs: 12.0 12.9520958084 93% => OK
Conjunction : 12.0 11.1786427146 107% => OK
Relative clauses : 8.0 13.6137724551 59% => More relative clauses wanted.
Pronoun: 34.0 28.8173652695 118% => OK
Preposition: 43.0 55.5748502994 77% => OK
Nominalization: 11.0 16.3942115768 67% => OK
Performance on vocabulary words:
No of characters: 2155.0 2260.96107784 95% => OK
No of words: 443.0 441.139720559 100% => OK
Chars per words: 4.86455981941 5.12650576532 95% => OK
Fourth root words length: 4.58776254615 4.56307096286 101% => OK
Word Length SD: 2.37437234095 2.78398813304 85% => OK
Unique words: 220.0 204.123752495 108% => OK
Unique words percentage: 0.496613995485 0.468620217663 106% => OK
syllable_count: 671.4 705.55239521 95% => OK
avg_syllables_per_word: 1.5 1.59920159681 94% => OK
A sentence (or a clause, phrase) starts by:
Pronoun: 6.0 4.96107784431 121% => OK
Article: 3.0 8.76447105788 34% => OK
Subordination: 2.0 2.70958083832 74% => OK
Conjunction: 4.0 1.67365269461 239% => Less conjunction wanted as sentence beginning.
Preposition: 2.0 4.22255489022 47% => More preposition wanted as sentence beginning.
Performance on sentences:
How many sentences: 24.0 19.7664670659 121% => OK
Sentence length: 18.0 22.8473053892 79% => The Avg. Sentence Length is relatively short.
Sentence length SD: 40.976937111 57.8364921388 71% => OK
Chars per sentence: 89.7916666667 119.503703932 75% => OK
Words per sentence: 18.4583333333 23.324526521 79% => OK
Discourse Markers: 4.58333333333 5.70786347227 80% => OK
Paragraphs: 5.0 5.15768463074 97% => OK
Language errors: 5.0 5.25449101796 95% => OK
Sentences with positive sentiment : 15.0 8.20758483034 183% => OK
Sentences with negative sentiment : 2.0 6.88822355289 29% => More negative sentences wanted.
Sentences with neutral sentiment: 7.0 4.67664670659 150% => OK
What are sentences with positive/Negative/neutral sentiment?
Coherence and Cohesion:
Essay topic to essay body coherence: 0.10633965646 0.218282227539 49% => OK
Sentence topic coherence: 0.0334964739535 0.0743258471296 45% => OK
Sentence topic coherence SD: 0.027295948242 0.0701772020484 39% => Sentences are similar to each other.
Paragraph topic coherence: 0.060164455651 0.128457276422 47% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence SD: 0.0223890265919 0.0628817314937 36% => Paragraphs are similar to each other. Some content may get duplicated or it is not exactly right on the topic.
Essay readability:
automated_readability_index: 10.7 14.3799401198 74% => Automated_readability_index is low.
flesch_reading_ease: 61.67 48.3550499002 128% => OK
smog_index: 3.1 7.1628742515 43% => Smog_index is low.
flesch_kincaid_grade: 9.1 12.197005988 75% => OK
coleman_liau_index: 10.91 12.5979740519 87% => OK
dale_chall_readability_score: 7.67 8.32208582834 92% => OK
difficult_words: 88.0 98.500998004 89% => OK
linsear_write_formula: 11.0 12.3882235529 89% => OK
gunning_fog: 9.2 11.1389221557 83% => OK
text_standard: 11.0 11.9071856287 92% => OK
What are above readability scores?
---------------------
Rates: 50.0 out of 100
Scores by essay e-grader: 3.0 Out of 6
---------------------
Note: the e-grader does NOT examine the meaning of words and ideas. VIP users will receive further evaluations by advanced module of e-grader and human graders.