The seemingly reasonable argument here makes a lot of assumptions. If the assumptions do not hold true, the recommendation provided might not have expected results. The argument suggests that the movie stores should close early and reduce its stock in order to reduce expense. The argument assumes that these reduction in expenses will lead to increased profit which otherwise is not possible. As evidence, the argument presents the results obtain by one of the store by taking the similar actions.
First of all, the argument does not investigate why the recent profit went down. Moreover, it assumes reducing the operating cost will lead to increased profit. The profit might have went gone down because they are not holding the recent movies or popular movies. Probably their movie collection is not that amazing. It also possible that demographic of that area has changed recently and people's taste in movie has changed but store is not up to date. The argument first need to investigate why the profit went down and then it is possible to make a compelling recommendation.
The argument presents downtown store as an evidence for the seemingly compelling recommendation. The author argues that the downtown store closes store at 6:00pm instead of 9:00pm and this has reduced their cost significantly. However, the author does not quantify how much the cost has reduced. Not only that, where the argument does mention that cost went down, it does not mention if this attempt lead to increased profit. It is possible that while their cost went down, the profit did not increase because the sells went for closing early. Moreover, while it might be beneficial for downtown to close early, it might not be beneficial for the other stores to close early. It is possible that the high selling time in downtown is before 6pm and there is no significant sell after 6pm in the downtown. However, stores in other places might have high sells after 6pm. If that’s true closing the store early will lead to loss instead of profit.
The author also suggests that the store should reduce its collection by getting rid of the old movies like the downtown store. Here author assumes that the taste in movies of people in downtown is same as taste in movies of people from other places. Depending on demographic, it is possible that the downtown has more young people and they prefer new movies, while stores in other places has have more grown up people and they like old movies. If this is true, getting rid of the old collection will lead to loss instead of profit.
As per the discussion above, the question like why the profit went down? will the profit increase with reducing operating cost? how the sells are in other stores from 6pm to 9pm? and what is statics on the type of the movies that sell in other stores, need to be answered before taking the recommendation provided.
- “In order to reverse the recent decline in our profits, we must reduce operating expenses at Movies Galore’s ten video rental stores. Since we are famous for our special bargains, raising our rental prices is not a viable way to improve profits. Last 72
- Some people believe that corporations have a responsibility to promote the well-being of the societies and environments in which they operate. Others believe that the only responsibility of corporations, provided they operate within the law, is to make as 66
Essay evaluation report
flaws:
also need to argue:
Since we are famous for our special bargains, raising our rental prices is not a viable way to improve profits.
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Attribute Value Ideal
Final score: 4.0 out of 6
Category: Good Excellent
No. of Grammatical Errors: 0 2
No. of Spelling Errors: 0 2
No. of Sentences: 25 15
No. of Words: 494 350
No. of Characters: 2332 1500
No. of Different Words: 172 200
Fourth Root of Number of Words: 4.714 4.7
Average Word Length: 4.721 4.6
Word Length SD: 2.402 2.4
No. of Words greater than 5 chars: 158 100
No. of Words greater than 6 chars: 106 80
No. of Words greater than 7 chars: 75 40
No. of Words greater than 8 chars: 31 20
Use of Passive Voice (%): 0 0
Avg. Sentence Length: 19.76 21.0
Sentence Length SD: 9.369 7.5
Use of Discourse Markers (%): 0.56 0.12
Sentence-Text Coherence: 0.316 0.35
Sentence-Para Coherence: 0.491 0.50
Sentence-Sentence Coherence: 0.102 0.07
Number of Paragraphs: 5 5
Grammar and spelling errors:
Line 2, column 304, Rule ID: THIS_NNS[2]
Message: Did you mean 'this reduction' or 'these reductions'?
Suggestion: this reduction; these reductions
...duce expense. The argument assumes that these reduction in expenses will lead to increased prof...
^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^
Line 4, column 184, Rule ID: HAVE_PART_AGREEMENT[6]
Message: Note: went is a past participle of "wend". Did you mean 'gone' (past participle of "go")?
Suggestion: gone
...increased profit. The profit might have went gone down because they are not holding ...
^^^^
Line 5, column 97, Rule ID: ENGLISH_WORD_REPEAT_BEGINNING_RULE
Message: Three successive sentences begin with the same word. Reword the sentence or use a thesaurus to find a synonym.
...he seemingly compelling recommendation. The author argues that the downtown store c...
^^^
Line 6, column 392, Rule ID: HAVE_PART_AGREEMENT[1]
Message: Use past participle here: 'had'.
Suggestion: had
...ovies, while stores in other places has have more grown up people and they like old ...
^^^^
Line 7, column 73, Rule ID: UPPERCASE_SENTENCE_START
Message: This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
Suggestion: Will
...question like why the profit went down? will the profit increase with reducing opera...
^^^^
Line 7, column 129, Rule ID: UPPERCASE_SENTENCE_START
Message: This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
Suggestion: How
...increase with reducing operating cost? how the sells are in other stores from 6pm ...
^^^
Line 7, column 180, Rule ID: UPPERCASE_SENTENCE_START
Message: This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
Suggestion: And
...ls are in other stores from 6pm to 9pm? and what is statics on the type of the movi...
^^^
Transition Words or Phrases used:
also, but, first, however, if, moreover, so, then, while, first of all
Attributes: Values AverageValues Percentages(Values/AverageValues)% => Comments
Performance on Part of Speech:
To be verbs : 17.0 19.6327345309 87% => OK
Auxiliary verbs: 14.0 12.9520958084 108% => OK
Conjunction : 10.0 11.1786427146 89% => OK
Relative clauses : 17.0 13.6137724551 125% => OK
Pronoun: 36.0 28.8173652695 125% => Less pronouns wanted
Preposition: 62.0 55.5748502994 112% => OK
Nominalization: 21.0 16.3942115768 128% => OK
Performance on vocabulary words:
No of characters: 2396.0 2260.96107784 106% => OK
No of words: 492.0 441.139720559 112% => OK
Chars per words: 4.86991869919 5.12650576532 95% => OK
Fourth root words length: 4.70967865282 4.56307096286 103% => OK
Word Length SD: 2.4880340242 2.78398813304 89% => OK
Unique words: 188.0 204.123752495 92% => More unique words wanted.
Unique words percentage: 0.382113821138 0.468620217663 82% => More unique words wanted or less content wanted.
syllable_count: 729.0 705.55239521 103% => OK
avg_syllables_per_word: 1.5 1.59920159681 94% => OK
A sentence (or a clause, phrase) starts by:
Pronoun: 7.0 4.96107784431 141% => OK
Article: 14.0 8.76447105788 160% => OK
Subordination: 7.0 2.70958083832 258% => Less adverbial clause wanted.
Conjunction: 1.0 1.67365269461 60% => OK
Preposition: 0.0 4.22255489022 0% => More preposition wanted as sentence beginning.
Performance on sentences:
How many sentences: 28.0 19.7664670659 142% => OK
Sentence length: 17.0 22.8473053892 74% => The Avg. Sentence Length is relatively short.
Sentence length SD: 32.421569414 57.8364921388 56% => The essay contains lots of sentences with the similar length. More sentence varieties wanted.
Chars per sentence: 85.5714285714 119.503703932 72% => OK
Words per sentence: 17.5714285714 23.324526521 75% => OK
Discourse Markers: 2.5 5.70786347227 44% => More transition words/phrases wanted.
Paragraphs: 5.0 5.15768463074 97% => OK
Language errors: 7.0 5.25449101796 133% => OK
Sentences with positive sentiment : 14.0 8.20758483034 171% => OK
Sentences with negative sentiment : 8.0 6.88822355289 116% => OK
Sentences with neutral sentiment: 6.0 4.67664670659 128% => OK
What are sentences with positive/Negative/neutral sentiment?
Coherence and Cohesion:
Essay topic to essay body coherence: 0.0617519198407 0.218282227539 28% => The similarity between the topic and the content is low.
Sentence topic coherence: 0.0216722554281 0.0743258471296 29% => Sentence topic similarity is low.
Sentence topic coherence SD: 0.0222618449083 0.0701772020484 32% => Sentences are similar to each other.
Paragraph topic coherence: 0.0418605314142 0.128457276422 33% => Maybe some paragraphs are off the topic.
Paragraph topic coherence SD: 0.0104289534896 0.0628817314937 17% => Paragraphs are similar to each other. Some content may get duplicated or it is not exactly right on the topic.
Essay readability:
automated_readability_index: 10.3 14.3799401198 72% => Automated_readability_index is low.
flesch_reading_ease: 62.68 48.3550499002 130% => OK
smog_index: 3.1 7.1628742515 43% => Smog_index is low.
flesch_kincaid_grade: 8.7 12.197005988 71% => OK
coleman_liau_index: 10.67 12.5979740519 85% => OK
dale_chall_readability_score: 6.92 8.32208582834 83% => OK
difficult_words: 76.0 98.500998004 77% => More difficult words wanted.
linsear_write_formula: 6.5 12.3882235529 52% => Linsear_write_formula is low.
gunning_fog: 8.8 11.1389221557 79% => OK
text_standard: 9.0 11.9071856287 76% => OK
What are above readability scores?
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It is not exactly right on the topic in the view of e-grader. Maybe there is a wrong essay topic.
Rates: 16.67 out of 100
Scores by essay e-grader: 1.0 Out of 6
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Note: the e-grader does NOT examine the meaning of words and ideas. VIP users will receive further evaluations by advanced module of e-grader and human graders.