Over 80 percent of the respondents to a recent survey indicated a desire to reduce their intake of foods containing fats and cholesterol, and today low-fat products abound in many food stores. Since many of the food products currently marketed by Old Dairy Industries are high in fat and cholesterol, the company's sales are likely to diminish greatly and company profits will no doubt decrease. We therefore advise Old Dairy stockholders to sell their shares, and other investors not to purchase stock in this company.
The auhtor of the above argument states that profits of old dairy Industries would decline and advises stock holders to sell their shares.To support his point of view,he mentions a survey which reported that 80 percent of the people expressed desire to reduce their consumption of high fat and cholestrol foods and since most of the products of old dairy companies are high in fat and cholestrol they could witness decrease in sales.However, the information mentioned by the author consists inherent logical flaws and loopholes which are questionable and hence require careful examination.
Firstly,the validity and accuracy of survey need to be questioned.There is very limited information provided regarding the survey.There is no information of statistics of how many people participated,what are the questions posed in the survey to the participants,whether the people who were surveyed represent all age groups etc.For instance,if the people who were part of survey belongs to middle or old age,this could mislead the results as most of old aged people would like to maintain a healthy diet and hence most likely consume non diary products which are low in fat and carbohydrates.Therefore,it is important to clear all the doubts before making any conclusion based on survey.
Secondly,the author proceeds to conclude the sales and profits of old dairy company most likely decline that inturn leads to detiorating share prices.It could be be possible that the company have multiple line of businesses apart from selling dairy products.Moreover,the place where survey was conducted is not provided.So,may be the company has booming business in all other places or areas that could neutralise the impact of low sales as reported by the author.
Furthermore,most of the companies would have thier dynamic marketing strategies which could make them sustain in business.If might turn out that the company would start to implement new strategies by inducting more low fat and cholestrol products into it's product portfolio when it witnesses decline in sales.The author missed out on lot of possiblities without sparing a thought in his recommendation.
To conclude,the argument is very much flawed and suffers from data insufficiency as the author could not provide adequate corroboration with the specified information.
- People should undertake risky action only after they have carefully considered its consequences. 66
- An ailing patient should have an access to his/her doctor`s record. 16
- Nations should pass laws to preserve any remaining wilderness areas in their natural state. 66
- "Unfortunately, in contemporary society, creating an appealing image has become more important than the reality or truth behind that image." 50
- Some people believe that scientific discoveries have given us a much better understanding of the world around us. Others believe that science has revealed to us that the world is infinitely more complex than we ever realized. 66
Comments
Essay evaluation report
Sentence: The auhtor of the above argument states that profits of old dairy Industries would decline and advises stock holders to sell their shares.To support his point of view,he mentions a survey which reported that 80 percent of the people expressed desire to reduce their consumption of high fat and cholestrol foods and since most of the products of old dairy companies are high in fat and cholestrol they could witness decrease in sales.However, the information mentioned by the author consists inherent
Error: auhtor Suggestion: author
Error: cholestrol Suggestion: control
Sentence: Secondly,the author proceeds to conclude the sales and profits of old dairy company most likely decline that inturn leads to detiorating share prices.It could be be possible that the company have multiple line of businesses apart from selling dairy products.Moreover,the place where survey was conducted is not provided.So,may be the company has booming business in all other places or areas that could neutralise the impact of low sales as reported by the author.
Error: neutralise Suggestion: neutralize
Error: may Suggestion: No alternate word
Error: inturn Suggestion: intern
Error: detiorating Suggestion: decorating
Sentence: Furthermore,most of the companies would have thier dynamic marketing strategies which could make them sustain in business.If might turn out that the company would start to implement new strategies by inducting more low fat and cholestrol products into it's product portfolio when it witnesses decline in sales.The author missed out on lot of possiblities without sparing a thought in his recommendation.
Error: possiblities Suggestion: possibilities
Error: cholestrol Suggestion: control
Error: thier Suggestion: No alternate word
---------------------
Always put a space after punctuation marks. Essay e-grader is sensitive.
----------------------
Attribute Value Ideal
Final score: 2.5 out of 6
Category: Satisfactory Excellent
No. of Grammatical Errors: 0 2
No. of Spelling Errors: 10 2
No. of Sentences: 7 15
No. of Words: 382 350
No. of Characters: 1928 1500
No. of Different Words: 207 200
Fourth Root of Number of Words: 4.421 4.7
Average Word Length: 5.047 4.6
Word Length SD: 2.676 2.4
No. of Words greater than 5 chars: 144 100
No. of Words greater than 6 chars: 109 80
No. of Words greater than 7 chars: 73 40
No. of Words greater than 8 chars: 44 20
Use of Passive Voice (%): 0 0
Avg. Sentence Length: 54.571 21.0
Sentence Length SD: 28.625 7.5
Use of Discourse Markers (%): 0.857 0.12
Sentence-Text Coherence: 0.447 0.35
Sentence-Para Coherence: 0.814 0.50
Sentence-Sentence Coherence: 0.092 0.07
Number of Paragraphs: 5 5
Grammar and spelling errors:
Line 1, column 139, Rule ID: SENTENCE_WHITESPACE
Message: Add a space between sentences
Suggestion: To
...ises stock holders to sell their shares.To support his point of view,he mentions a...
^^
Line 1, column 167, Rule ID: COMMA_PARENTHESIS_WHITESPACE
Message: Put a space after the comma
Suggestion: , he
...heir shares.To support his point of view,he mentions a survey which reported that 8...
^^^
Line 1, column 434, Rule ID: SENTENCE_WHITESPACE
Message: Add a space between sentences
Suggestion: However
...ol they could witness decrease in sales.However, the information mentioned by the autho...
^^^^^^^
Line 1, column 569, Rule ID: WHITESPACE_RULE
Message: Possible typo: you repeated a whitespace
Suggestion:
...which are questionable and hence require careful examination. Firstly,the vali...
^^
Line 3, column 8, Rule ID: COMMA_PARENTHESIS_WHITESPACE
Message: Put a space after the comma
Suggestion: , the
...require careful examination. Firstly,the validity and accuracy of survey need to...
^^^^
Line 3, column 67, Rule ID: SENTENCE_WHITESPACE
Message: Add a space between sentences
Suggestion: There
...ccuracy of survey need to be questioned.There is very limited information provided re...
^^^^^
Line 3, column 131, Rule ID: SENTENCE_WHITESPACE
Message: Add a space between sentences
Suggestion: There
...formation provided regarding the survey.There is no information of statistics of how ...
^^^^^
Line 3, column 200, Rule ID: COMMA_PARENTHESIS_WHITESPACE
Message: Put a space after the comma
Suggestion: , what
...atistics of how many people participated,what are the questions posed in the survey t...
^^^^^
Line 3, column 263, Rule ID: COMMA_PARENTHESIS_WHITESPACE
Message: Put a space after the comma
Suggestion: , whether
... posed in the survey to the participants,whether the people who were surveyed represent ...
^^^^^^^^
Line 3, column 330, Rule ID: SENTENCE_WHITESPACE
Message: Add a space between sentences
Suggestion: For
...e surveyed represent all age groups etc.For instance,if the people who were part of...
^^^
Line 3, column 342, Rule ID: COMMA_PARENTHESIS_WHITESPACE
Message: Put a space after the comma
Suggestion: , if
...epresent all age groups etc.For instance,if the people who were part of survey belo...
^^^
Line 3, column 409, Rule ID: COMMA_PARENTHESIS_WHITESPACE
Message: Put a space after the comma
Suggestion: , this
...t of survey belongs to middle or old age,this could mislead the results as most of ol...
^^^^^
Line 3, column 594, Rule ID: SENTENCE_WHITESPACE
Message: Add a space between sentences
Suggestion: Therefore
... which are low in fat and carbohydrates.Therefore,it is important to clear all the doubts...
^^^^^^^^^
Line 3, column 603, Rule ID: COMMA_PARENTHESIS_WHITESPACE
Message: Put a space after the comma
Suggestion: , it
...e low in fat and carbohydrates.Therefore,it is important to clear all the doubts be...
^^^
Line 5, column 9, Rule ID: COMMA_PARENTHESIS_WHITESPACE
Message: Put a space after the comma
Suggestion: , the
...conclusion based on survey. Secondly,the author proceeds to conclude the sales a...
^^^^
Line 5, column 151, Rule ID: SENTENCE_WHITESPACE
Message: Add a space between sentences
Suggestion: It
...nturn leads to detiorating share prices.It could be be possible that the company h...
^^
Line 5, column 160, Rule ID: ENGLISH_WORD_REPEAT_RULE
Message: Possible typo: you repeated a word
Suggestion: be
...ds to detiorating share prices.It could be be possible that the company have multiple...
^^^^^
Line 5, column 259, Rule ID: SENTENCE_WHITESPACE
Message: Add a space between sentences
Suggestion: Moreover
...esses apart from selling dairy products.Moreover,the place where survey was conducted is...
^^^^^^^^
Line 5, column 267, Rule ID: COMMA_PARENTHESIS_WHITESPACE
Message: Put a space after the comma
Suggestion: , the
...art from selling dairy products.Moreover,the place where survey was conducted is not...
^^^^
Line 5, column 321, Rule ID: SENTENCE_WHITESPACE
Message: Add a space between sentences
Suggestion: So
...re survey was conducted is not provided.So,may be the company has booming business...
^^
Line 5, column 323, Rule ID: COMMA_PARENTHESIS_WHITESPACE
Message: Put a space after the comma
Suggestion: , may
... survey was conducted is not provided.So,may be the company has booming business in ...
^^^^
Line 7, column 12, Rule ID: COMMA_PARENTHESIS_WHITESPACE
Message: Put a space after the comma
Suggestion: , most
...s reported by the author. Furthermore,most of the companies would have thier dynam...
^^^^^
Line 7, column 123, Rule ID: SENTENCE_WHITESPACE
Message: Add a space between sentences
Suggestion: If
...ich could make them sustain in business.If might turn out that the company would s...
^^
Line 7, column 310, Rule ID: SENTENCE_WHITESPACE
Message: Add a space between sentences
Suggestion: The
...olio when it witnesses decline in sales.The author missed out on lot of possiblitie...
^^^
Line 9, column 12, Rule ID: COMMA_PARENTHESIS_WHITESPACE
Message: Put a space after the comma
Suggestion: , the
...ht in his recommendation. To conclude,the argument is very much flawed and suffer...
^^^^
Transition Words or Phrases used:
first, firstly, furthermore, hence, however, if, may, moreover, regarding, second, secondly, so, therefore, apart from, for instance
Attributes: Values AverageValues Percentages(Values/AverageValues)% => Comments
Performance on Part of Speech:
To be verbs : 16.0 19.6327345309 81% => OK
Auxiliary verbs: 13.0 12.9520958084 100% => OK
Conjunction : 14.0 11.1786427146 125% => OK
Relative clauses : 14.0 13.6137724551 103% => OK
Pronoun: 18.0 28.8173652695 62% => OK
Preposition: 54.0 55.5748502994 97% => OK
Nominalization: 12.0 16.3942115768 73% => OK
Performance on vocabulary words:
No of characters: 1972.0 2260.96107784 87% => OK
No of words: 359.0 441.139720559 81% => More content wanted.
Chars per words: 5.4930362117 5.12650576532 107% => OK
Fourth root words length: 4.35284910392 4.56307096286 95% => OK
Word Length SD: 3.38223964358 2.78398813304 121% => OK
Unique words: 202.0 204.123752495 99% => OK
Unique words percentage: 0.562674094708 0.468620217663 120% => OK
syllable_count: 608.4 705.55239521 86% => OK
avg_syllables_per_word: 1.7 1.59920159681 106% => OK
A sentence (or a clause, phrase) starts by:
Pronoun: 4.0 4.96107784431 81% => OK
Article: 7.0 8.76447105788 80% => OK
Subordination: 2.0 2.70958083832 74% => OK
Conjunction: 0.0 1.67365269461 0% => OK
Preposition: 2.0 4.22255489022 47% => More preposition wanted as sentence beginning.
Performance on sentences:
How many sentences: 5.0 19.7664670659 25% => Need more sentences. Double check the format of sentences, make sure there is a space between two sentences, or have enough periods. And also check the lengths of sentences, maybe they are too long.
Sentence length: 71.0 22.8473053892 311% => The Avg. Sentence Length is relatively long.
Sentence length SD: 177.813835232 57.8364921388 307% => The lengths of sentences changed so frequently.
Chars per sentence: 394.4 119.503703932 330% => Less chars_per_sentence wanted.
Words per sentence: 71.8 23.324526521 308% => Less words per sentence wanted.
Discourse Markers: 26.4 5.70786347227 463% => Less transition words/phrases wanted.
Paragraphs: 5.0 5.15768463074 97% => OK
Language errors: 25.0 5.25449101796 476% => Less language errors wanted.
Sentences with positive sentiment : 3.0 8.20758483034 37% => More positive sentences wanted.
Sentences with negative sentiment : 2.0 6.88822355289 29% => More negative sentences wanted.
Sentences with neutral sentiment: 0.0 4.67664670659 0% => More facts, knowledge or examples wanted.
What are sentences with positive/Negative/neutral sentiment?
Coherence and Cohesion:
Essay topic to essay body coherence: 0.176745498971 0.218282227539 81% => OK
Sentence topic coherence: 0.0860366459875 0.0743258471296 116% => OK
Sentence topic coherence SD: 0.0717713073356 0.0701772020484 102% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence: 0.0860366459875 0.128457276422 67% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence SD: 0.0717713073356 0.0628817314937 114% => OK
Essay readability:
automated_readability_index: 40.3 14.3799401198 280% => Automated_readability_index is high.
flesch_reading_ease: -9.05 48.3550499002 -19% => Flesch_reading_ease is low.
smog_index: 14.6 7.1628742515 204% => Smog_index is high.
flesch_kincaid_grade: 32.2 12.197005988 264% => Flesch kincaid grade is high.
coleman_liau_index: 15.75 12.5979740519 125% => OK
dale_chall_readability_score: 11.78 8.32208582834 142% => OK
difficult_words: 105.0 98.500998004 107% => OK
linsear_write_formula: 28.5 12.3882235529 230% => Linsear_write_formula is high.
gunning_fog: 30.4 11.1389221557 273% => Gunning_fog is high.
text_standard: 29.0 11.9071856287 244% => The average readability is very high. Good job!
What are above readability scores?
---------------------
Rates: 66.67 out of 100
Scores by essay e-grader: 4.0 Out of 6
---------------------
Note: the e-grader does NOT examine the meaning of words and ideas. VIP users will receive further evaluations by advanced module of e-grader and human graders.