Pirouettes Ballet School is the clear choice for any child. Of all the dance schools in Elmtown, Pirouettes has the most intensive program, and our teachers have danced in the most prestigious ballet companies all over the world. Many of our students have gone on to become professional dancers with top dance companies.
The argument is about choosing a dance school for any child in Elmtown. Pirouettes Ballet School is claimed to be the best one in the town. However there are many flaws in the argument. There are more information needed to make this argument clear.
First ,the argument claims that it is the best dance school in town. But argument does not talk about the information for the other dance school. There may be other dance school as well having the same qualities as Pirouettes Ballet School. So there should be the comparison of the schools available in order to claim that Pirouettes Ballet School is the best school.
Secondly , the argument claims the the teachers have danced in the most prestigious ballet companies all over the world. Now a doubt comes into a mind," does a good dancer makes him or her a good teacher?" The good dancer is not always a good teacher. So instead of only saying about the dance experience world wide the author should provide information regarding how much experience he or she has in teaching dance.
Moreover the author claims that many of the students have gone on to become professional dancers with top dance companies. This statement does not clarify the data on how many students have gone till now. And majorly what is the growth rate of the students. There may be case where most of the student are a good dancer before coming to the school. They may learn dance somewhere else before coming to Pirouettes Ballet School. In addition , as author said the teachers have danced in the most prestigious ballet companies. So,the fees may be high as compared to the other school. So the author need to be more clear in these matters and should provide accurate data regarding fee structure.
So by these kind of reason I would say that , the author should collect more data regarding students and teacher. Moreover, he should provide more information regarding fee structure so that the doubts does not come into the reader's mind. In addition , if he can add more information which shows the comparison with the other dance school, that would be great.
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argument 1 -- not OK. where did you get 'the argument claims that it is the best dance school'?
argument 2 -- OK
argument 3 -- not OK
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Attribute Value Ideal
Score: 2.5 out of 6
Category: Poor Excellent
No. of Grammatical Errors: 0 2
No. of Spelling Errors: 0 2
No. of Sentences: 23 15
No. of Words: 363 350
No. of Characters: 1688 1500
No. of Different Words: 155 200
Fourth Root of Number of Words: 4.365 4.7
Average Word Length: 4.65 4.6
Word Length SD: 2.336 2.4
No. of Words greater than 5 chars: 116 100
No. of Words greater than 6 chars: 68 80
No. of Words greater than 7 chars: 51 40
No. of Words greater than 8 chars: 29 20
Use of Passive Voice (%): 0 0
Avg. Sentence Length: 15.783 21.0
Sentence Length SD: 4.709 7.5
Use of Discourse Markers (%): 0.696 0.12
Sentence-Text Coherence: 0.327 0.35
Sentence-Para Coherence: 0.53 0.50
Sentence-Sentence Coherence: 0.175 0.07
Number of Paragraphs: 5 5