"A recent study of eighteen rhesus monkeys provides clues as to the effects of birth order on an individual's levels of stimulation. The study showed that in stimulating situations (such as an encounter with an unfamiliar monkey), firstborn infant monkeys produce up to twice as much of the hormone cortisol, which primes the body for increased activity levels, as do their younger siblings. Firstborn humans also produce relatively high levels of cortisol in stimulating situations (such as the return of a parent after an absence). The study also found that during pregnancy, first-time mother monkeys had higher levels of cortisol than did those who had had several offspring."
The study of eighteen rhesus monkeys provides clues as to the effects of birth order on an individual's levels of stimulation. The recent study showed that in stimulating situations (such as an encounter with an unfamiliar monkey), firstborn infant monkeys produce up to twice as much of the hormone cortisol, which primes the body for increased activity levels, as do their younger siblings. Firstborn humans also produce relatively high levels of cortisol in stimulating situations (such as the return of a parent after an absence). The study also found that during pregnancy, first-time mother monkeys had higher levels of cortisol than did those who had had several offspring."
The given premise is valid but incomplete and the assumptions is unwarranted therefore the conclusion is not convicting.
During the study of eighteen rhesus monkey, might have been collected from same place .if they were collected from different place the result might have been different. Furthermore, a meager study of only 18 monkey might not produce significant result about the firstborn, and response to stimulating situations. It also doesn’t mention that how many of them are parents, first born and older.
The authors states that first born infants monkey produce twice as much of the hormones. But there may be anomalous about this statements, had the sibling been exposed to more stimulating or threatening situations then older one, they might have produced higher level of hormones then firstborn. More ever, order of birth cannot be ascertained on the rate of hormone productions alone it may be due to others parameters like environments, climate may influence it.
Human infants when faced with unfamiliar situations, exhibit higher level of cortisol level. Though the hormone cortisol is present in both monkey and humans, the stimulus in both cases can be different. It is not mentions in the arguments that humans and monkey posses similar hormonal reactions to stimulus. Likewise, stimulus considered in the arguments is different for both the cases. It could be helpful if the number of infants studied is given.
The study also doesn’t shows that how much cortisol level is found in those who had higher offsprings. so without studying the amount or level of cortisol in the monkey who had higher offsprings. so it may be be irrevelent to say that fist time mother monkey had higher level of cortisols.
Many specific still need to be studied about the rhesus monkey. The author should not assume that first mother monkey have higher level of cortisol without completely studying about rhesus with more than one offspring. In addition to these, author does not provides the information of monkey whether they had taken from same place or different. If taken from different place the result might be different. Author must study in more populations then only in 18,it will be more valid. Author must provides the information of how birth can affect in the rate of production of hormones, other parameters also may influence it.After studying in these different sector, conclusion only will be valid.
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| 2019-06-27 | Pruthviraj R Patil | 26 | view |
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Grammar and spelling errors:
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The study of eighteen rhesus monkeys pr...
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The study of eighteen rhesus monkeys provide...
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...r levels of cortisol than did those who had had several offspring.' The given ...
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...ose who had had several offspring.' The given premise is valid but incomplet...
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Message: Possible agreement error. The noun 'monkey' seems to be countable, so consider using: 'monkeys'.
Suggestion: monkeys
...g. During the study of eighteen rhesus monkey, might have been collected from same pl...
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...ight have been collected from same place .if they were collected from different pl...
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... Furthermore, a meager study of only 18 monkey might not produce significant result ab...
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...s. It also doesn't mention that how many of them are parents, first born and...
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...s, first born and older. The authors states that first born infants monkey produce ...
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...mones. But there may be anomalous about this statements, had the sibling been expose...
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...n the monkey who had higher offsprings. so it may be be irrevelent to say that fis...
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...ey who had higher offsprings. so it may be be irrevelent to say that fist time mother...
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...y had higher level of cortisols. Many specific still need to be studied about ...
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Line 11, column 429, Rule ID: COMPARISONS_NNS_THEN[1]
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...ight be different. Author must study in more populations then only in 18,it will be more valid. Autho...
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... other parameters also may influence it.After studying in these different sector, con...
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Discourse Markers used:
['also', 'but', 'first', 'furthermore', 'if', 'likewise', 'may', 'so', 'still', 'then', 'therefore', 'as to', 'in addition', 'such as']
Attributes: Values AverageValues Percentages(Values/AverageValues)% => Comments
Performance in Part of Speech:
Nouns: 0.245519713262 0.25644967241 96% => OK
Verbs: 0.154121863799 0.15541462614 99% => OK
Adjectives: 0.121863799283 0.0836205057962 146% => OK
Adverbs: 0.0519713261649 0.0520304965353 100% => OK
Pronouns: 0.0215053763441 0.0272364105082 79% => OK
Prepositions: 0.137992831541 0.125424944231 110% => OK
Participles: 0.0483870967742 0.0416121511921 116% => OK
Conjunctions: 2.73565382394 2.79052419416 98% => OK
Infinitives: 0.0161290322581 0.026700313972 60% => OK
Particles: 0.00179211469534 0.001811407834 99% => OK
Determiners: 0.0824372759857 0.113004496875 73% => OK
Modal_auxiliary: 0.0340501792115 0.0255425247493 133% => OK
WH_determiners: 0.0161290322581 0.0127820249294 126% => OK
Vocabulary words and sentences:
No of characters: 3132.0 2731.13054187 115% => OK
No of words: 502.0 446.07635468 113% => OK
Chars per words: 6.2390438247 6.12365571057 102% => OK
Fourth root words length: 4.7334296765 4.57801047555 103% => OK
words length more than 5 chars: 0.396414342629 0.378187486979 105% => OK
words length more than 6 chars: 0.276892430279 0.287650121315 96% => OK
words length more than 7 chars: 0.203187250996 0.208842608468 97% => OK
words length more than 8 chars: 0.147410358566 0.135150697306 109% => OK
Word Length SD: 2.73565382394 2.79052419416 98% => OK
Unique words: 222.0 207.018472906 107% => OK
Unique words percentage: 0.442231075697 0.469332199767 94% => More unique words wanted or less content wanted.
Word variations: 50.440831452 52.1807786196 97% => OK
How many sentences: 24.0 20.039408867 120% => OK
Sentence length: 20.9166666667 23.2022227129 90% => OK
Sentence length SD: 59.2937016517 57.7814097925 103% => OK
Chars per sentence: 130.5 141.986410481 92% => OK
Words per sentence: 20.9166666667 23.2022227129 90% => OK
Discourse Markers: 0.583333333333 0.724660767414 80% => OK
Paragraphs: 7.0 5.14285714286 136% => OK
Language errors: 21.0 3.58251231527 586% => Correct essay format wanted or double check grammar & spelling issues after essay writing.
Readability: 48.6059096946 51.9672348444 94% => OK
Elegance: 1.89763779528 1.8405768891 103% => OK
Coherence and Cohesion:
Essay topic to essay body coherence: 0.498238980322 0.441005458295 113% => OK
Sentence sentence coherence: 0.173056853307 0.135418324435 128% => OK
Sentence sentence coherence SD: 0.116802089312 0.0829849096947 141% => OK
Sentence paragraph coherence: 0.570077759919 0.58762219726 97% => OK
Sentence paragraph coherence SD: 0.157298913992 0.147661913831 107% => OK
Sentence topic coherence: 0.17686844524 0.193483328276 91% => OK
Sentence topic coherence SD: 0.143632435893 0.0970749176394 148% => OK
Paragraph paragraph coherence: 0.24806774336 0.42659136922 58% => OK
Paragraph paragraph coherence SD: 0.0919873169393 0.0774707102158 119% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence: 0.263010696764 0.312017818177 84% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence SD: 0.190834955633 0.0698173142475 273% => OK
Task Achievement:
Sentences with positive sentiment : 5.0 8.33743842365 60% => OK
Sentences with negative sentiment : 3.0 6.87684729064 44% => OK
Sentences with neutral sentiment: 16.0 4.82512315271 332% => Less neutral sentences wanted.
Positive topic words: 5.0 6.46551724138 77% => OK
Negative topic words: 3.0 5.36822660099 56% => OK
Neutral topic words: 12.0 2.82389162562 425% => Less neutral topic words wanted.
Total topic words: 20.0 14.657635468 136% => OK
What are sentences with positive/Negative/neutral sentiment?
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More arguments wanted.
Rates: 50.0 out of 100
Scores by essay e-grader: 3.0 Out of 6 -- The score is based on the average performance of 20,000 argument essays. This e-grader is not smart enough to check on arguments.
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Note: This is not the final score. The e-grader does NOT examine the meaning of words and ideas. VIP users will receive further evaluations by advanced module of e-grader and human graders.