“To serve the housing needs of our students, Buckingham College should build a number of new dormitories. Buckingham’s enrollment is growing and based on current trends, will double over the next 50 years, thus making existing dormitory space inadequate. Moreover, the average rent for an apartment in our town has risen in recent years. Consequently, students will find it increasingly difficult to afford off-campus housing. Finally, attractive new dormitories would make prospective students more likely to enroll at Buckingham. ”
It is important to satisfy basic housing needs of the students so that they give more focus on studies rather than struggling for their basic needs, but, the reasons provided by the author here are not cogent. Also, this argument is rife with holes and assumptions and fails to provide convincing reasons for increasing the number of dormitories.
The very first reason provided by the author does not specify what exact needs are not being served. It may happen that there may be enough number of beds to sleep, but, the number of washrooms or some other household appliances like refrigerators, table fans, lights etc. are missing. So it is not appropriate for author to jump directly to the conclusion of increasing number of dormitories. Instead, author should specify the exact needs for stating this argument.
Also, the author assumes that today’s trends of increment in Buckingham’s enrollment will be the same in future but, assuming this is quite unrealistic because, enrollment may increase or decrease in future and there can’t be any accurate prediction about the future. Author could have strengthened his argument by providing some accurate numbers or statistics that would guarantee the enrollment to get doubled in 50 years.
Taking admission in any college doesn’t mean that the student will be requiring hostel facilities; he may or may not if, he is a local resident or finds transportation facilities feasible. Author also says that rent of apartments has increased but, increase may be 2% or 5% which could be easily managed by the students. Author fails to provide accurate percentage increase in the rent and so directly jumping to conclusion that students will not be able to rent off-campus apartments is simply not persuasive.
Likewise, a good housing facility or campus facilities may be one of the secondary reasons that a student will consider while taking his admission but, he will give more focus on other important things like teaching facilities, college accreditation, campus placement etc. So, to say that increasing dormitories is likely to increase the number of enrollments is not appropriate. Author should provide statistical data and find more convincing reasons for increasing the number of dormitories.
| Post date | Users | Rates | Link to Content |
|---|---|---|---|
| 2016-07-19 | pranav shah | 58 | view |
| 2016-07-18 | pranav shah | 75 | view |
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Grammar and spelling errors:
Line 10, column 1, Rule ID: WHITESPACE_RULE
Message: Possible typo: you repeated a whitespace
Suggestion:
...increasing the number of dormitories.
^^^
Discourse Markers used:
['also', 'but', 'first', 'if', 'likewise', 'may', 'second', 'so', 'then', 'while']
Attributes: Values AverageValues Percentages(Values/AverageValues)% => Comments
Performance in Part of Speech:
Nouns: 0.241206030151 0.25644967241 94% => OK
Verbs: 0.173366834171 0.15541462614 112% => OK
Adjectives: 0.0929648241206 0.0836205057962 111% => OK
Adverbs: 0.0577889447236 0.0520304965353 111% => OK
Pronouns: 0.0251256281407 0.0272364105082 92% => OK
Prepositions: 0.115577889447 0.125424944231 92% => OK
Participles: 0.0552763819095 0.0416121511921 133% => OK
Conjunctions: 2.88685135529 2.79052419416 103% => OK
Infinitives: 0.0276381909548 0.026700313972 104% => OK
Particles: 0.0 0.001811407834 0% => OK
Determiners: 0.072864321608 0.113004496875 64% => OK
Modal_auxiliary: 0.0427135678392 0.0255425247493 167% => OK
WH_determiners: 0.00753768844221 0.0127820249294 59% => OK
Vocabulary words and sentences:
No of characters: 2270.0 2731.13054187 83% => OK
No of words: 362.0 446.07635468 81% => More content wanted.
Chars per words: 6.27071823204 6.12365571057 102% => OK
Fourth root words length: 4.36191444098 4.57801047555 95% => OK
words length more than 5 chars: 0.403314917127 0.378187486979 107% => OK
words length more than 6 chars: 0.301104972376 0.287650121315 105% => OK
words length more than 7 chars: 0.226519337017 0.208842608468 108% => OK
words length more than 8 chars: 0.160220994475 0.135150697306 119% => OK
Word Length SD: 2.88685135529 2.79052419416 103% => OK
Unique words: 178.0 207.018472906 86% => More unique words wanted.
Unique words percentage: 0.491712707182 0.469332199767 105% => OK
Word variations: 51.7889731235 52.1807786196 99% => OK
How many sentences: 15.0 20.039408867 75% => OK
Sentence length: 24.1333333333 23.2022227129 104% => OK
Sentence length SD: 68.2473931126 57.7814097925 118% => OK
Chars per sentence: 151.333333333 141.986410481 107% => OK
Words per sentence: 24.1333333333 23.2022227129 104% => OK
Discourse Markers: 0.666666666667 0.724660767414 92% => OK
Paragraphs: 5.0 5.14285714286 97% => OK
Language errors: 1.0 3.58251231527 28% => OK
Readability: 54.2438305709 51.9672348444 104% => OK
Elegance: 1.60784313725 1.8405768891 87% => OK
Coherence and Cohesion:
Essay topic to essay body coherence: 0.313572368508 0.441005458295 71% => OK
Sentence sentence coherence: 0.0932077464991 0.135418324435 69% => OK
Sentence sentence coherence SD: 0.0766180357472 0.0829849096947 92% => OK
Sentence paragraph coherence: 0.566172697393 0.58762219726 96% => OK
Sentence paragraph coherence SD: 0.158504114583 0.147661913831 107% => OK
Sentence topic coherence: 0.134456016253 0.193483328276 69% => OK
Sentence topic coherence SD: 0.0615746478652 0.0970749176394 63% => OK
Paragraph paragraph coherence: 0.346387268288 0.42659136922 81% => OK
Paragraph paragraph coherence SD: 0.0689875757728 0.0774707102158 89% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence: 0.212905619061 0.312017818177 68% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence SD: 0.0454388021615 0.0698173142475 65% => OK
Task Achievement:
Sentences with positive sentiment : 9.0 8.33743842365 108% => OK
Sentences with negative sentiment : 4.0 6.87684729064 58% => OK
Sentences with neutral sentiment: 2.0 4.82512315271 41% => OK
Positive topic words: 9.0 6.46551724138 139% => OK
Negative topic words: 3.0 5.36822660099 56% => OK
Neutral topic words: 2.0 2.82389162562 71% => OK
Total topic words: 14.0 14.657635468 96% => OK
What are sentences with positive/Negative/neutral sentiment?
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Rates: 66.0 out of 100
Scores by essay e-grader: 4 Out of 6 -- The score is based on the average performance of 20,000 argument essays. This e-grader is not smart enough to check on arguments.
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Note: the e-grader does NOT examine the meaning of words and ideas. VIP users will receive further evaluations by advanced module of e-grader and human graders.