Studies suggest that an average coffee drinker’s consumption of coffee increases with age, from age 10 through age 60. Even after age 60, coffee consumption remains high. The average cola drinker’s consumption of cola, however, declines with increasing age. Both of these trends have remained stable for the past 40 years. Given that the number of older adults will significantly increase as the population ages over the next 20 years, it follows that the demand for coffee will increase and the demand for cola will decrease during this period. We should, therefore, consider transferring our investments from Cola Loca to Early Bird Coffee.
In the given argument the author of the business plan has an assumption that the average consumption of coffee increases with age and even after the age of 60 the consumption remains high.However the average cola consumption declines with increasing age.According to the author both the trends have remained stable for past 40 years.So by looking at these figures the author concludes that the older adults with increase significantly over next 20 years, because the population will be aging over 20 years,which means that the demand for coffee will increase and demand for cola will decrease.
Therefore, the author suggests that the company should consider transferring investements form Cola to Early Bird coffee.
The argument is flawed for several reasons as the author does not show relevant statstics that the consumption of coffee increases with age and consumption of cola decreases with age.The author should provide enough information for us to know that from which source the information was gathered.It might be possible that the numbers what the author is reffering to is collected form one area or just one city.So that does not assume that it implies to all the cities and all the countries that the consumption of cola will decrease with age and consumption of cofffee will increase with age.
The author also quotes that the trends have been stable for past 40 years, but agian the author does not cite relevant source that according to which study the trends are shown; is it an international firm that that conducted the study or is it just an local company who had gathered all the data and drawn conclusion.The author also falis to cite that how many people were included in the study.There can be a possiblity that the study is just based on 100 people.Whereas we need more people to give their views.
Also the author fails to give information that the company is targetting at a local city or many other countries.The author should give proper information so that the reader can know that what is companys target location.There can be a possiblity that the trend that author mentions Increase in consumption of coffee with age and decrease in consumption of cola with age might be relevant to just one city.If the company wishes to expand its business into ather location this trend might not be valid at all.
The author also falsely assumes that the trend will continue that old people will continue their intake of coffee even after the age of 60,there can be a possiblity that due to health awaress campaings the Older people might consider to leave coffee and switch to some other herbal option.For this reason the authors assumption that this trend will continue that people are aging is not reasonable.
In order to validate the argument the author must provide relevant statistics to show that how many people were involved in teh survey and where the survey was exactly conducted.Also the author must reveal that the company targets local customers or international customers.Else the company can run into husge lossess, because there is always a possibility that in one city people might reduce their consumption of cola and increase their consumption of coffee with age.But in other cities or countries this trend might not be vaild at all.
- The graph and table below show the average monthly temperatures and the average number of hours of sunshine per year in three major cities 67
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Grammar and spelling errors:
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Message: Add a space between sentences
Suggestion: However
... age of 60 the consumption remains high.However the average cola consumption declines w...
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Message: Did you forget a comma after a conjunctive/linking adverb?
Suggestion: However,
... age of 60 the consumption remains high.However the average cola consumption declines w...
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Line 1, column 255, Rule ID: SENTENCE_WHITESPACE
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Suggestion: According
...onsumption declines with increasing age.According to the author both the trends have rema...
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Line 1, column 334, Rule ID: SENTENCE_WHITESPACE
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Suggestion: So
... have remained stable for past 40 years.So by looking at these figures the author ...
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Line 1, column 506, Rule ID: COMMA_PARENTHESIS_WHITESPACE
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Suggestion: , which
...e population will be aging over 20 years,which means that the demand for coffee will i...
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Line 6, column 184, Rule ID: SENTENCE_WHITESPACE
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Suggestion: The
... consumption of cola decreases with age.The author should provide enough informatio...
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Suggestion: It
...ich source the information was gathered.It might be possible that the numbers what...
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Line 6, column 410, Rule ID: SENTENCE_WHITESPACE
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Suggestion: So
...ollected form one area or just one city.So that does not assume that it implies to...
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... that conducted the study or is it just an local company who had gathered all the ...
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Suggestion: The
...hered all the data and drawn conclusion.The author also falis to cite that how many...
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Suggestion: There
... many people were included in the study.There can be a possiblity that the study is j...
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Suggestion: Whereas
...t the study is just based on 100 people.Whereas we need more people to give their views...
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Line 10, column 466, Rule ID: SENTENCE_FRAGMENT[1]
Message: “Whereas” at the beginning of a sentence requires a 2nd clause. Maybe a comma, question or exclamation mark is missing, or the sentence is incomplete and should be joined with the following sentence.
...t the study is just based on 100 people.Whereas we need more people to give their views...
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Line 12, column 1, Rule ID: SENT_START_CONJUNCTIVE_LINKING_ADVERB_COMMA[1]
Message: Did you forget a comma after a conjunctive/linking adverb?
Suggestion: Also,
...eed more people to give their views. Also the author fails to give information th...
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Line 12, column 114, Rule ID: SENTENCE_WHITESPACE
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Suggestion: The
...at a local city or many other countries.The author should give proper information s...
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Suggestion: There
...w that what is companys target location.There can be a possiblity that the trend that...
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Suggestion: If
... age might be relevant to just one city.If the company wishes to expand its busine...
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Line 12, column 407, Rule ID: SENTENCE_FRAGMENT[1]
Message: “If” at the beginning of a sentence requires a 2nd clause. Maybe a comma, question or exclamation mark is missing, or the sentence is incomplete and should be joined with the following sentence.
... age might be relevant to just one city.If the company wishes to expand its busine...
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Suggestion: For
... and switch to some other herbal option.For this reason the authors assumption that...
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Line 14, column 310, Rule ID: POSSESIVE_APOSTROPHE[1]
Message: Possible typo: apostrophe is missing. Did you mean 'authors'' or 'author's'?
Suggestion: authors'; author's
...other herbal option.For this reason the authors assumption that this trend will continu...
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Line 16, column 179, Rule ID: SENTENCE_WHITESPACE
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Suggestion: Also
... where the survey was exactly conducted.Also the author must reveal that the company...
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Message: Did you forget a comma after a conjunctive/linking adverb?
Suggestion: Also,
... where the survey was exactly conducted.Also the author must reveal that the company...
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Suggestion: Else
...al customers or international customers.Else the company can run into husge lossess,...
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Suggestion: But
...se their consumption of coffee with age.But in other cities or countries this trend...
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Transition Words or Phrases used:
also, but, however, if, look, so, therefore, whereas
Attributes: Values AverageValues Percentages(Values/AverageValues)% => Comments
Performance on Part of Speech:
To be verbs : 25.0 19.6327345309 127% => OK
Auxiliary verbs: 25.0 12.9520958084 193% => OK
Conjunction : 17.0 11.1786427146 152% => OK
Relative clauses : 34.0 13.6137724551 250% => Less relative clauses wanted (maybe 'which' is over used).
Pronoun: 45.0 28.8173652695 156% => Less pronouns wanted
Preposition: 62.0 55.5748502994 112% => OK
Nominalization: 23.0 16.3942115768 140% => OK
Performance on vocabulary words:
No of characters: 2753.0 2260.96107784 122% => OK
No of words: 548.0 441.139720559 124% => OK
Chars per words: 5.02372262774 5.12650576532 98% => OK
Fourth root words length: 4.83832613839 4.56307096286 106% => OK
Word Length SD: 2.68221794721 2.78398813304 96% => OK
Unique words: 218.0 204.123752495 107% => OK
Unique words percentage: 0.397810218978 0.468620217663 85% => More unique words wanted or less content wanted.
syllable_count: 846.0 705.55239521 120% => OK
avg_syllables_per_word: 1.5 1.59920159681 94% => OK
A sentence (or a clause, phrase) starts by:
Pronoun: 1.0 4.96107784431 20% => OK
Interrogative: 0.0 0.471057884232 0% => OK
Article: 7.0 8.76447105788 80% => OK
Subordination: 4.0 2.70958083832 148% => OK
Conjunction: 2.0 1.67365269461 119% => OK
Preposition: 3.0 4.22255489022 71% => OK
Performance on sentences:
How many sentences: 7.0 19.7664670659 35% => Need more sentences. Double check the format of sentences, make sure there is a space between two sentences, or have enough periods. And also check the lengths of sentences, maybe they are too long.
Sentence length: 78.0 22.8473053892 341% => The Avg. Sentence Length is relatively long.
Sentence length SD: 153.460757465 57.8364921388 265% => The lengths of sentences changed so frequently.
Chars per sentence: 393.285714286 119.503703932 329% => Less chars_per_sentence wanted.
Words per sentence: 78.2857142857 23.324526521 336% => Less words per sentence wanted.
Discourse Markers: 7.42857142857 5.70786347227 130% => OK
Paragraphs: 7.0 5.15768463074 136% => Less paragraphs wanted.
Language errors: 24.0 5.25449101796 457% => Less language errors wanted.
Sentences with positive sentiment : 4.0 8.20758483034 49% => More positive sentences wanted.
Sentences with negative sentiment : 2.0 6.88822355289 29% => More negative sentences wanted.
Sentences with neutral sentiment: 1.0 4.67664670659 21% => More facts, knowledge or examples wanted.
What are sentences with positive/Negative/neutral sentiment?
Coherence and Cohesion:
Essay topic to essay body coherence: 0.33869870093 0.218282227539 155% => OK
Sentence topic coherence: 0.183975349794 0.0743258471296 248% => Sentence topic similarity is high.
Sentence topic coherence SD: 0.129688410223 0.0701772020484 185% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence: 0.183975349794 0.128457276422 143% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence SD: 0.129688410223 0.0628817314937 206% => More connections among paragraphs wanted.
Essay readability:
automated_readability_index: 41.4 14.3799401198 288% => Automated_readability_index is high.
flesch_reading_ease: 0.77 48.3550499002 2% => Flesch_reading_ease is low.
smog_index: 13.0 7.1628742515 181% => OK
flesch_kincaid_grade: 32.5 12.197005988 266% => Flesch kincaid grade is high.
coleman_liau_index: 13.02 12.5979740519 103% => OK
dale_chall_readability_score: 10.53 8.32208582834 127% => OK
difficult_words: 105.0 98.500998004 107% => OK
linsear_write_formula: 27.5 12.3882235529 222% => Linsear_write_formula is high.
gunning_fog: 33.2 11.1389221557 298% => Gunning_fog is high.
text_standard: 13.0 11.9071856287 109% => OK
What are above readability scores?
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Maximum six paragraphs wanted.
Rates: 66.67 out of 100
Scores by essay e-grader: 4.0 Out of 6 -- The score is based on the average performance of 20,000 argument essays. This e-grader is not smart enough to check on arguments.
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Note: the e-grader does NOT examine the meaning of words and ideas. VIP users will receive further evaluations by advanced module of e-grader and human graders.