(THIS IS AN UNEDITED ESSAY AND HAS BEEN TYPED IN 30 MIN .I WOULD LIKE YOU ALL TO SCORE THIS ESSAY ON A SCALE 1 TO 6 AND PLEASE COMMENT )
The following was used as part of an internet advertising company's appeal to businesses: Furniture Depot employed our internet advertising company to help. Since then its sales increased by 10% over last year's totals. Furniture Depot's success demonstrates how using our internet services can increase your profitability.
Describe how well reasoned you find this argument. In the discussion be sure to analyze the line of reasoning and the use of evidence in the argument. For example, you may need to consider what questionable assumptions underlie the thinking and what alternative explanations or counterexamples might weaken the argument's conclusion. You may also address possible changes in the argument that would make it more logically sound, and what, if anything, would help you better evaluate its conclusion.
This argument presented here by the author has lot of flaws and holes.He presents a weak demonstration to depict that usage of internet increases the profitability.At some point he may infer to the fact that through internet advertising a particular company has increased its demand and annual turnover.
By taking the first assumption that there has been 10% increase in the profit goes boneless because the survey which does this graph of the number of buyers for a product may be a corrupt survey system and the number of people buying that product may be from a particular class of people who has access to internet.This 10% increase in profit could have been attributed by all the mediums of advertising and the other fact IS that the people who have access to internet may be very less.The survey does not indicate the kind of survey they carried on.It may not be a survey based on type of intimations through which product was introduced to them and due to that particular ad only they bought the product.
Here he has drawn a conclusion that the internet alone is responsible for increase in its profit.But there may be other reasons the company might have improved the quality of the product over many years and now they are able able to sell the product as they are the best and at the same time they might have entered into a new type of advertising through internet in this 21st century.So this tells that only internet cannot be the sole purpose for this turnover of profit.
The furniture depot when they have advertise through internet would be aware of the various mediums for advertising like paper,t.v. ads or though weekly editions and through personal interactions with the consumers.This in totality would have added to the 10% increase in their profits.So we cannot agree that only internet helped them to sell the furniture.This furniture company might be 1 or 2 yrs old and so they were not able to produce more products within six or 9 months to cater to the desires of the consumer .So when the products in this case the furniture when manufactured within 1 and a half yrs were in a position to get the products to the consumer without any delay.For this to happen they would have advertised though all the mediums which summed up to 10%increase in profit.
So,to conclude that the increase in profit may be because of the quality of the product and the time they entered into the mainstream to sell within schedule could be the reason of its turnover and not crediting only to the internet ads as the sole reason for its sky rocketing profit or turnover.
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argument 1 -- not OK
argument 2 -- OK
argument 3 -- OK but it is duplicated to argument 2
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Suggested arguments:
argument 1 -- maybe there are other reasons not because of the internet services.
argument 2 -- it works for the furniture company, it doesn't mean it works for other companies.
argument 3 -- it works for the conditions in last year, it doesn't mean it will work for future years.
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Attribute Value Ideal
Score: 3.0 out of 6
Category: Satisfactory Excellent
No. of Grammatical Errors: 0 2
No. of Spelling Errors: 0 2
No. of Sentences: 7 15
No. of Words: 467 350
No. of Characters: 2102 1500
No. of Different Words: 194 200
Fourth Root of Number of Words: 4.649 4.7
Average Word Length: 4.501 4.6
Word Length SD: 2.416 2.4
No. of Words greater than 5 chars: 142 100
No. of Words greater than 6 chars: 100 80
No. of Words greater than 7 chars: 66 40
No. of Words greater than 8 chars: 30 20
Use of Passive Voice (%): 0 0
Avg. Sentence Length: 66.714 21.0
Sentence Length SD: 20.239 7.5
Use of Discourse Markers (%): 1 0.12
Sentence-Text Coherence: 0.505 0.35
Sentence-Para Coherence: 0.867 0.50
Sentence-Sentence Coherence: 0.272 0.07
Number of Paragraphs: 5 5