The vice president of human resources recommends starting to monitor employees' Internet use from their workstations by installing a particular software. According to him, it will help to foster a better work ethic and improve Climpson Industries’ overall sales since the software will prevent workers from wasting time. However, scrutiny of this recommendation reveals that it is unconvincing as it stands as it relies on a series of faulty assumptions.
First of all, the essential faulty assumption this argument relies on is that the implementation of the electronic monitoring system will increase employees’ productivity. However, the vice president does not include any information proving this statement - no according research or study. For that matter, perhaps such a change in the policy would impede Climpson employees’ productivity. The workers might start feeling that they are not being trusted and simply being controlled which can significantly affect their attitude to work and the company in general. Unless the positive correlation between the monitoring of employees’ Internet use and their productivity is proved, no conclusion should be made.
Secondly, the author of the recommendation assumes that the overall profits of Climpson Industries will grow as the result of monitoring software installation. This is not necessarily the case. Obviously, there are other factors involved as well, which should be tracked and considered - the economic state of the city/country the company operates in, their competitors’ actions, the preferences of the customers, and so on. Therefore, it can be quite naive to believe that by changing one variable (the influence of which, in fact, has not been proved) will positively affect the overall result to a noticeable extent.
Finally, the author believes that a better work ethic is a stricter one. Nevertheless, we see how the majority of leading companies undermine this assumption by revolutionizing the workspace and policies. A telling example here would be Google with its offices resembling the playground and encouraging its employees working on their own projects at the same time so that they foster their creativity, loyalty and the feeling they are valuable to the company. Even much smaller companies implement flexible working hours, allow their employees working from home and so on. In other words, those forward-thinking companies value freedom rather than control and this, indeed, proves to be effective.
In the final analysis, the recommendation of the vice president of human resources at Climpson Industries cannot be considered convincing as it relies on a series of assumptions that render it untenable. To bolster his argument, the author should show that there is high positive correlation coefficient between the increasing control and employees’ productivity, cite studies and researches which prove the above-mentioned correlation and explain how the overall sales of the company depend on those particular employees whose usage of Internet is recommended to be monitored.
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Essay evaluation report
Attribute Value Ideal
Final score: 4.5 out of 6
Category: Good Excellent
No. of Grammatical Errors: 0 2
No. of Spelling Errors: 0 2
No. of Sentences: 19 15
No. of Words: 467 350
No. of Characters: 2537 1500
No. of Different Words: 233 200
Fourth Root of Number of Words: 4.649 4.7
Average Word Length: 5.433 4.6
Word Length SD: 3.035 2.4
No. of Words greater than 5 chars: 204 100
No. of Words greater than 6 chars: 165 80
No. of Words greater than 7 chars: 116 40
No. of Words greater than 8 chars: 83 20
Use of Passive Voice (%): 0 0
Avg. Sentence Length: 24.579 21.0
Sentence Length SD: 10.884 7.5
Use of Discourse Markers (%): 0.632 0.12
Sentence-Text Coherence: 0.282 0.35
Sentence-Para Coherence: 0.514 0.50
Sentence-Sentence Coherence: 0.047 0.07
Number of Paragraphs: 5 5
Transition Words or Phrases used:
finally, first, however, if, nevertheless, second, secondly, so, therefore, well, in fact, in general, first of all, in other words
Attributes: Values AverageValues Percentages(Values/AverageValues)% => Comments
Performance on Part of Speech:
To be verbs : 20.0 19.6327345309 102% => OK
Auxiliary verbs: 14.0 12.9520958084 108% => OK
Conjunction : 15.0 11.1786427146 134% => OK
Relative clauses : 15.0 13.6137724551 110% => OK
Pronoun: 40.0 28.8173652695 139% => Less pronouns wanted
Preposition: 54.0 55.5748502994 97% => OK
Nominalization: 16.0 16.3942115768 98% => OK
Performance on vocabulary words:
No of characters: 2636.0 2260.96107784 117% => OK
No of words: 466.0 441.139720559 106% => OK
Chars per words: 5.65665236052 5.12650576532 110% => OK
Fourth root words length: 4.64618479453 4.56307096286 102% => OK
Word Length SD: 3.28180643674 2.78398813304 118% => OK
Unique words: 242.0 204.123752495 119% => OK
Unique words percentage: 0.519313304721 0.468620217663 111% => OK
syllable_count: 814.5 705.55239521 115% => OK
avg_syllables_per_word: 1.7 1.59920159681 106% => OK
A sentence (or a clause, phrase) starts by:
Pronoun: 6.0 4.96107784431 121% => OK
Article: 10.0 8.76447105788 114% => OK
Subordination: 1.0 2.70958083832 37% => OK
Conjunction: 1.0 1.67365269461 60% => OK
Preposition: 5.0 4.22255489022 118% => OK
Performance on sentences:
How many sentences: 19.0 19.7664670659 96% => OK
Sentence length: 24.0 22.8473053892 105% => OK
Sentence length SD: 72.3852037956 57.8364921388 125% => OK
Chars per sentence: 138.736842105 119.503703932 116% => OK
Words per sentence: 24.5263157895 23.324526521 105% => OK
Discourse Markers: 6.89473684211 5.70786347227 121% => OK
Paragraphs: 5.0 5.15768463074 97% => OK
Language errors: 0.0 5.25449101796 0% => OK
Sentences with positive sentiment : 12.0 8.20758483034 146% => OK
Sentences with negative sentiment : 6.0 6.88822355289 87% => OK
Sentences with neutral sentiment: 1.0 4.67664670659 21% => More facts, knowledge or examples wanted.
What are sentences with positive/Negative/neutral sentiment?
Coherence and Cohesion:
Essay topic to essay body coherence: 0.367227471181 0.218282227539 168% => OK
Sentence topic coherence: 0.107678304764 0.0743258471296 145% => OK
Sentence topic coherence SD: 0.0916452222465 0.0701772020484 131% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence: 0.217968286149 0.128457276422 170% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence SD: 0.0870284305842 0.0628817314937 138% => OK
Essay readability:
automated_readability_index: 17.5 14.3799401198 122% => OK
flesch_reading_ease: 38.66 48.3550499002 80% => OK
smog_index: 11.2 7.1628742515 156% => OK
flesch_kincaid_grade: 13.8 12.197005988 113% => OK
coleman_liau_index: 15.84 12.5979740519 126% => OK
dale_chall_readability_score: 9.6 8.32208582834 115% => OK
difficult_words: 141.0 98.500998004 143% => OK
linsear_write_formula: 12.0 12.3882235529 97% => OK
gunning_fog: 11.6 11.1389221557 104% => OK
text_standard: 12.0 11.9071856287 101% => OK
What are above readability scores?
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Rates: 83.33 out of 100
Scores by essay e-grader: 5.0 Out of 6
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Note: the e-grader does NOT examine the meaning of words and ideas. VIP users will receive further evaluations by advanced module of e-grader and human graders.