Claim: Governments must ensure that their major cities receive the financial support they need in order to thrive.
Reason: It is primarily in cities that a nation's cultural traditions are preserved and generated.
Write a response in which you discuss the extent to which you agree or disagree with the claim and the reason on which that claim is based.
To which parts of the country a goverment should invest its money is an important question. In order to validate an investment option of a goverment there shoul be satisfying results which are consequences of that investment. Investing in major cities generate satifying results for the investment. Since,thrive and development of major cities is not only beneficial for that cities but also have substantial impact for the community who live in other cities of the country.
To begin with, the major cities are centers of business, education and enviroment because of this reason many people live in that areas. Hence, investing to those cities enables better economic, social conditions for the majority of citizens. For example, in my country the three major cities, Ankara,Istanbul and Izmir, hold more than fifty percent of the population. In addition to this, thrive of the major cities affect all of the country. For instance, if a major city which has many educational instutions, such as universities or research centers, is thrived whole community has benefited from that development. Since, the investment to this city and instutions improves the academic enviroment and research potential of the universities and students of these instutions are educated bette . Consequently, when these students return their cities or villages as professionals, they are able to add more value to their cities both economically and culturally. Hence, this investment has impact on the whole nation.
In addition, as stated in the reason cultural traditions are vastly generated and preserved in the cities. The major cities have been centers of culture throughtout the centuries. For example, in my country Istanbul is the major city which was a capital of both Ottomon Empire and Byzantine. Hence, Istanbul is not only important historical places but also a representative of traditional values of empires. As a result of history of Istanbul, it is still the place where one can find roots of Turkish culture. Preserving these values is important in order to protect my society from degenaration.
Finally, some people claim that investing only major cities and ignoring towns, villages and rural areas is not fair and both parts of the country should benefit from similar amount of support. Although this argument seems logical when it is examined superficially, it misses an important point. The success of major cities also improve the conditions in the other parts of the state.Hypothetically, if a goverment ensure the development a major city which contain business and trade centers the money generated in this centers will increase the income of the country and the goverment will be able to invest more to the other areas in the state. As a result, a development in major cities is beneficial for every citizen.
To sum up, the success of major cities is cardinal for the benevolance of the whole population. Since major cities are main centers for economy, history and education. Moreover,they contain significant amount of population of a country hence investing to those cities affect majority of public. In addition, since this cities have traditional and historical value, in order to protect and develop these values goverments should spend money for these regions. Furthermore, investment to those cities generates economic value for whole society. Therefore, investment in major cities is great impact for the overall success of a country.
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Sentence: Hypothetically, if a goverment ensure the development a major city which contain business and trade centers the money generated in this centers will increase the income of the country and the goverment will be able to invest more to the other areas in the state.
Description: The fragment goverment ensure the is rare
Suggestion: Possible agreement error: Replace ensure with verb, past tense
Description: A determiner/pronoun, singular is not usually followed by a noun, plural, common
Suggestion: Refer to this and centers
Sentence: In addition, since this cities have traditional and historical value, in order to protect and develop these values goverments should spend money for these regions.
Description: A determiner/pronoun, singular is not usually followed by a noun, plural, common
Suggestion: Refer to this and cities
Sentence: To which parts of the country a goverment should invest its money is an important question.
Error: goverment Suggestion: government
Sentence: In order to validate an investment option of a goverment there shoul be satisfying results which are consequences of that investment.
Error: goverment Suggestion: government
Error: shoul Suggestion: should
Sentence: Investing in major cities generate satifying results for the investment.
Error: satifying Suggestion: satisfying
Sentence: To begin with, the major cities are centers of business, education and enviroment because of this reason many people live in that areas.
Error: enviroment Suggestion: environment
Sentence: For instance, if a major city which has many educational instutions, such as universities or research centers, is thrived whole community has benefited from that development.
Error: instutions Suggestion: instructions?
Sentence: Since, the investment to this city and instutions improves the academic enviroment and research potential of the universities and students of these instutions are educated bette .
Error: enviroment Suggestion: environment
Error: instutions Suggestion: instructions?
Sentence: The major cities have been centers of culture throughtout the centuries.
Error: throughtout Suggestion: throughout
Sentence: Preserving these values is important in order to protect my society from degenaration.
Error: degenaration Suggestion: degeneration
Sentence: The success of major cities also improve the conditions in the other parts of the state.Hypothetically, if a goverment ensure the development a major city which contain business and trade centers the money generated in this centers will increase the income of the country and the goverment will be able to invest more to the other areas in the state.
Error: goverment Suggestion: government
Sentence: To sum up, the success of major cities is cardinal for the benevolance of the whole population.
Error: benevolance Suggestion: benevolence
Sentence: In addition, since this cities have traditional and historical value, in order to protect and develop these values goverments should spend money for these regions.
Error: goverments Suggestion: governments
flaws:
Don't need to reiterate the reasons in the conclusion.
Attribute Value Ideal
Score: 4.0 out of 6
Category: Good Excellent
No. of Grammatical Errors: 3 2
No. of Spelling Errors: 13 2
No. of Sentences: 28 15
No. of Words: 553 350
No. of Characters: 2839 1500
No. of Different Words: 217 200
Fourth Root of Number of Words: 4.849 4.7
Average Word Length: 5.134 4.6
Word Length SD: 2.733 2.4
No. of Words greater than 5 chars: 218 100
No. of Words greater than 6 chars: 160 80
No. of Words greater than 7 chars: 109 40
No. of Words greater than 8 chars: 74 20
Use of Passive Voice (%): 0 0
Avg. Sentence Length: 19.75 21.0
Sentence Length SD: 9.952 7.5
Use of Discourse Markers (%): 0.714 0.12
Sentence-Text Coherence: 0.319 0.35
Sentence-Para Coherence: 0.474 0.50
Sentence-Sentence Coherence: 0.084 0.07
Number of Paragraphs: 5 5