Educational institutions should actively encourage their students to choose fields of study that will prepare them for lucrative careers.
Write a response in which you discuss the extent to which you agree or disagree with the claim. In developing and supporting your position, be sure to address the most compelling reasons and/or examples that could be used to challenge your position.
Regarding the students will have rich lives, the author argues that educational institutions should actively encourage their students to choose fields of study that will prepare them for lucrative careers. It's sound well, however,meticulous analysis will find many flaws of the claim.
First of all, I wonder whether professors in educational institutions have abilities to foresee future development of a field? A good income in a certain field of study today doesn't mean that it can still keep the situation. Take the computer field for example, in China, as a new field of study,Computer industry attained most people's pursuirt Those people thought that learning it amount to having lucrative careers after graduation. However, with the increasing number of the students who study it , the competition in the field becomes more and more serious. And,for some students, they even cannot find a job, let alone having a lucrative career in future.
Admittedly,some people may argue that choosing a good payment field of study,students may earn a lot of money and their will have rich lives. However, whether or not can they work in a lucrative field also depends on their own abilities. Moreover, when choosing a field of study,not only do ones need to consider income, but also necessary for students to think whether they adapt to the work and can stand the negative factors existing in its interior .
As I know,many people working in banks where close to money can surely earn a lot of money. It is common sense that bank employees are one of the better professions in the world. Recently ,an investigation in China shows that the mean income per year for the entire workers is 20 million yuan. However, with their sizable income, they also experience greater pressure, that to an extent lessens or even compromises their overall satisfaction in life.
Encourage--encouraging their students to choose fields of study that will prepare them for lucrative careers can also lead to a worse situation that it will be few people to do those crucial but income relatively lower works which will cause the inequality distribution of people power. For instance,there are a lot of people choose to work in the field of economic which is a traditional high income work in people's mind while a few individuals will worker as waiters or doing physical force work. Imagining the situation that most of people like to do management work in offices, but no many people prefer to be a teacher as their lifelong occupation due to relatively lower income,yet undoubtedly, teachers is basic component of educational system.
In sum, I think that it's not wise for educational institutions should actively encourage their students to choose fields of study that will prepare them for lucrative careers.
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Sentence: Admittedly,some people may argue that choosing a good payment field of study,students may earn a lot of money and their will have rich lives.
Description: A determiner, possessive is not usually followed by a modal auxillary
Suggestion: Refer to their and will
Sentence: Take the computer field for example, in China, as a new field of study,Computer industry attained most people's pursuirt Those people thought that learning it amount to having lucrative careers after graduation.
Error: pursuirt Suggestion: pursuit
flaws:
Use of Discourse Markers (%): 0.778 0.12 (check out online what is Discourse Markers)
Attribute Value Ideal
Score: 4.5 out of 6
Category: Good Excellent
No. of Grammatical Errors: 1 2
No. of Spelling Errors: 1 2
No. of Sentences: 18 15
No. of Words: 468 350
No. of Characters: 2278 1500
No. of Different Words: 222 200
Fourth Root of Number of Words: 4.651 4.7
Average Word Length: 4.868 4.6
Word Length SD: 2.585 2.4
No. of Words greater than 5 chars: 158 100
No. of Words greater than 6 chars: 115 80
No. of Words greater than 7 chars: 81 40
No. of Words greater than 8 chars: 48 20
Use of Passive Voice (%): 0 0
Avg. Sentence Length: 26 21.0
Sentence Length SD: 9.621 7.5
Use of Discourse Markers (%): 0.778 0.12
Sentence-Text Coherence: 0.34 0.35
Sentence-Para Coherence: 0.599 0.50
Sentence-Sentence Coherence: 0.088 0.07
Number of Paragraphs: 6 5