The following appeared in a memorandum from the human resources department of HomeStyle, a house remodeling business:
“This year, despite HomeStyle’s move to new office space, we have seen a decline in both company morale and productivity, and a corresponding increase in administrative costs. To rectify these problems, we should begin using a newly developed software package for performance appraisal and feedback. Managers will save time by simply choosing comments from a preexisting list; then the software will automatically generate feedback for the employee. The human resources department at CounterBalance, the manufacturer of the countertops we install, reports satisfaction with the package.”
Discuss how well reasoned you find this argument. In your discussion, be sure to analyze the line of reasoning and the use of evidence in the argument. For example, you may need to consider what questionable assumptions underlie the thinking and what alternative explanations or counterexamples might weaken the conclusion. You can also discuss what sort of evidence would strengthen or refute the argument, what changes in the argument would make it more logically sound, and what, if anything, would help you better evaluate its conclusion.
The proposal of implementing a new employee performance feedback software as a solution to declining company morale and productivity is superficial and does not solve the root cause of the problem. The memorandum advocates the new software package by listing its functions and showing reference from comparable companies, but misses important aspects of company morale and productivity to substantiate its argumentation.
First of all, with the roll-out of a new feedback software the human resources department does not really solve the root cause of the problem. Apparently there has been a decline in both company morale and productivity for a long time which could not be solved with the move to a new office space. The decline might be caused by fundamental issues like management culture or salary structure which cannot be solved by such superficial solutions like new office place or feedback software. Since the memorandum does not tell about a root cause analysis and the software as the solution to this root cause, it probably misses important fundamental aspects.
Second, an automated performance feedback software might lead to additional decrease in employees' productivity. Even if the software can decrease administrative costs by automizing some processes, it might backfire because some employees might prefer personal feedback instead of standardized templates. The standardized feedback may even lead to a lower value perception by the employees' which might lead to additional decrease in company morale. The human resources department fails to consider this aspect in its memorandum which may lead to failure of the implemented software.
To solve the declining company morale and productivity, the human resources department must first start with a root cause analysis and understand the underlying reasons. Only this way the right solution can be proposed for such a complex problem like this.
In summary, the human resources department clearly misses the root cause of the declining company morale and productivity. Superficial solutions like new office space and feedback software, which do not solve the fundamental issue, are bound to fail.
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flaws:
No. of Different Words: 144 200
Sentence Length SD: 5.18 7.5
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You may remove the fourth paragraph or merge it to the fifth paragraph, the content is very close to the fifth paragraph. Instead, you can put one more reason, like Third, blabla...
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Attribute Value Ideal
Score: 4.5 out of 6
Category: Good Excellent
No. of Grammatical Errors: 0 2
No. of Spelling Errors: 0 2
No. of Sentences: 14 15
No. of Words: 334 350
No. of Characters: 1809 1500
No. of Different Words: 144 200
Fourth Root of Number of Words: 4.275 4.7
Average Word Length: 5.416 4.6
Word Length SD: 2.948 2.4
No. of Words greater than 5 chars: 137 100
No. of Words greater than 6 chars: 115 80
No. of Words greater than 7 chars: 91 40
No. of Words greater than 8 chars: 59 20
Use of Passive Voice (%): 0 0
Avg. Sentence Length: 23.857 21.0
Sentence Length SD: 5.18 7.5
Use of Discourse Markers (%): 0.643 0.12
Sentence-Text Coherence: 0.418 0.35
Sentence-Para Coherence: 0.656 0.50
Sentence-Sentence Coherence: 0.108 0.07
Number of Paragraphs: 5 5