The following appeared in a recommendation from the president of Amburg's Chamber of Commerce.
"Last October the city of Belleville installed high-intensity lighting in its central business district, and vandalism there declined within a month. The city of Amburg has recently begun police patrols on bicycles in its business district, but the rate of vandalism there remains constant. We should install high-intensity lighting throughout Amburg, then, because doing so is a more effective way to combat crime. By reducing crime in this way, we can revitalize the declining neighborhoods in our city."
Write a response in which you discuss what specific evidence is needed to evaluate the argument and explain how the evidence would weaken or strengthen the argument.
In the above argument the problem faced by the city of Amburg is vandalism in the central business district. The solution to the problem provided is the installation of high intensity lights in the district. To support the conclusion the president states that it was seen that police patrolling on bicycles did not help overcome the problem.
It may so happen that the installation of lights came as a surprise to the thieves and they stopped their activity from the fear of getting caught leading to a decline n the rate of vandalism. Thus the police patrolling did not have any effect on the rate of vandalism as the thieves already became aware of the strict security in the business district and thus acted as such. The police patrol solution should be applied to a different area and the study the rate of vandalism in that particular area to strongly support the conclusion of installing high intensity lights to reduce the rate of vandalism and to increase the number of people living in that area.
Also various other methods such as installation of CCTV cameras to monitor the streets for security of the citizens, night guard duties, installation of home security devices etc. would help the people to feel secure about living in the area. It will also instill the fear of getting caught and the punishment levied on the thieves and thus may help in reducing the overall rate of vandalism in the city of Amburg rather than just installing high intensity lights throughout the city.
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flaws:
Not right on the topic.
Number of Paragraphs: 3 5
better to use this pattern for argument essays:
para 1: introduction.
para 2: argument 1
para 3: argument 2
para 4: argument 3
para 5: conclusion
Attribute Value Ideal
Score: 2.0 out of 6
Category: Poor Excellent
No. of Grammatical Errors: 0 2
No. of Spelling Errors: 0 2
No. of Sentences: 8 15
No. of Words: 257 350
No. of Characters: 1223 1500
No. of Different Words: 121 200
Fourth Root of Number of Words: 4.004 4.7
Average Word Length: 4.759 4.6
Word Length SD: 2.539 2.4
No. of Words greater than 5 chars: 96 100
No. of Words greater than 6 chars: 68 80
No. of Words greater than 7 chars: 44 40
No. of Words greater than 8 chars: 24 20
Use of Passive Voice (%): 0 0
Avg. Sentence Length: 32.125 21.0
Sentence Length SD: 11.152 7.5
Use of Discourse Markers (%): 0.5 0.12
Sentence-Text Coherence: 0.473 0.35
Sentence-Para Coherence: 0.67 0.50
Sentence-Sentence Coherence: 0.114 0.07
Number of Paragraphs: 3 5