The following memorandum is from the business manager of Happy Pancake House restaurants.
"Butter has now been replaced by margarine in Happy Pancake House restaurants throughout the southwestern United States. Only about 2 percent of customers have complained, indicating that an average of 98 people out of 100 are happy with the change. Furthermore, many servers have reported that a number of customers who ask for butter do not complain when they are given margarine instead. Clearly, either these customers cannot distinguish butter from margarine or they use the term 'butter' to refer to either butter or margarine. Thus, we predict that Happy Pancake House will be able to increase profits dramatically if we extend this cost-saving change to all our restaurants in the southeast and northeast as well."
Write a response in which you discuss what questions would need to be answered in order to decide whether the prediction and the argument on which it is based are reasonable. Be sure to explain how the answers to these questions would help to evaluate the prediction.
The author of the memorandum asserts that butter has been replaced by margraine in Happy Pancake House restaurants in southwestern US. Author suggests that they should apply similar change to all their restaurants in southeast and northwest. Author corroborates his suggestion with some data such as only 2 percent of the customers complained in southwestern restaurants about this change and hence they can conclude that 98 percent customers are happy with the change. Author further provides information that when customers ask for butter but served margarine,they did not complain. Finally author tries to convince the readers of memorandum that replacing butter with margarine would be very cost effective for the company. Author's suggestion, however is not fortified with sufficient data and hence it lacks the convincing power. There are many flaws in the information provided and author must add more information to present his suggestion cogently.
First of all, author mentions that only 2 percent of the customers have complained. He, however has not provided ample data as to how many customers were surveyed and whether all the Happy Pancake restaurants in southwestern US were included in the survey. Without this information, it's very difficult to establish the claim. Had the author provided these details such as most of the customers were surveyed and all the restaurants were included in the survey, it would have been easier to reconcile the suggestion. In absence of such claims, it's possible that only few of the restaurants were included in survey and there were not many customers present at the time of survey. It's also possible that it was rush hour and customers did not complain because they were in hurry.
Second, it's possible that customers did notice the chance, however they ignored it. However, it's possible that if they see the repetition in future, they start complaining and stop coming to the restaurant. A survey which actually includes specific questions to the people such as - do they like margarine instead of butter is needed. If the people respond positively then author's suggestion is fortified. However, it's possible that people dislike the change when specifically asked. Hence contemplating on biased assumptions would be dangerous.
Third, data from southwestern US is not ample to establish the opinion about other regions. It's possible that people in other regions have specific choices and they do not like the change. Hence, a detailed survey needs to be conducted in all the regions targeted for butter to margarine change.
Finally, author has tried to push his suggestion with statement that this change would increase profit margins. There is a big part of information missing here. Author has not given per unit prices of butter and margarine which could convince the readers about the profit statement. Author must provide per unit prices of butter and margarine and prove to the readers that there is indeed a big difference in the margin. In the absence of this data, there is a possibility that there is no difference between the prices of butter and margarine. It's also possible that author is biased towards this change due to some hidden reason and hence he has not disclosed the prices intentionally.
Hence, it can be concluded that author needs to provide much more information in addition to the existing incomplete information in order to convince readers of memorandum with his suggestion. Author does not succeed in convincing the readers With existing incomplete information.
Post date | Users | Rates | Link to Content |
---|---|---|---|
2013-01-29 | mightyblue123 | 85 | view |
- Claim Even though young people often receive the advice to follow your dreams more emphasis should be placed on picking worthy goals Reason Many people s dreams are inherently selfish Write a response in which you discuss the extent to which you agree or 80
- The following appeared in a letter from a firm providing investment advice to a client."Homes in the northeastern United States, where winters are typically cold, have traditionally used oil as their major fuel for heating. Last year that region experienc 75
- The following appeared in a letter from the faculty committee to the president of Seatown University:A study conducted at nearby Oceania University showed that faculty retention is higher when professors are offered free tuition at the university for thei 92
- People should undertake risky action only after they have carefully considered its consequences Write a response in which you discuss the extent to which you agree or disagree with the recommendation and explain your reasoning for the position you take In 92
- Some people believe that the purpose of education is to free the mind and the spirit Others believe that formal education tends to restrain our minds and spirits rather than set them free Write a response in which you discuss which view more closely align 79
Sentence: The author of the memorandum asserts that butter has been replaced by margraine in Happy Pancake House restaurants in southwestern US.
Error: margraine Suggestion: margarine
flaws:
No. of Words: 571 350 (write the essay in half an hour)
Less words for the first paragraph and 3 reasons are enough.
Attribute Value Ideal
Score: 5.0 out of 6
Category: Very Good Excellent
No. of Grammatical Errors: 0 2
No. of Spelling Errors: 1 2
No. of Sentences: 30 15
No. of Words: 571 350
No. of Characters: 2935 1500
No. of Different Words: 221 200
Fourth Root of Number of Words: 4.888 4.7
Average Word Length: 5.14 4.6
Word Length SD: 2.681 2.4
No. of Words greater than 5 chars: 226 100
No. of Words greater than 6 chars: 164 80
No. of Words greater than 7 chars: 119 40
No. of Words greater than 8 chars: 81 20
Use of Passive Voice (%): 0 0
Avg. Sentence Length: 19.033 21.0
Sentence Length SD: 7.007 7.5
Use of Discourse Markers (%): 0.633 0.12
Sentence-Text Coherence: 0.296 0.35
Sentence-Para Coherence: 0.517 0.50
Sentence-Sentence Coherence: 0.131 0.07
Number of Paragraphs: 6 5