The following is a memorandum from the business manager of a television station. "Over the past year, our late-night news program has devoted increased time to national news and less time to weather and local news. During this period, most of the complai
In the above memorandum, the writer wants to restore the former timings for local and national news. The reasons given are: local business cancelling advertisement contracts with the station and complaints recieved. The memo is not a persuasive and needs more concrete evidence to make it implement.
The author states that, the station recieved complaints about the coverage of local news and weather, but fails to incorporate the details of the complaints. The writer doesn't give complete information, whether the local people want the reporters to give complete information or as the author said, the time devoted should be greater. If the writer gives the details about what the customers want, then a valid decision can be made. Since, the percentage of people watching late-night news programs are generally less, to attract more viewers the writer should add more programs in the day time. Also, the author does not mention how the station is doing in the day time. If the station is doing good in the day time, then people will not watch much in the night.
The writer states that, the local businesses are cancelling their late-night adverstising contracts with them. The writer does not mention, if the local businesses have cancelled their entire advertising contract or just the late-night contracts. Because, if they have cancelled only the late-night adverstising contract, the business people might have made this decision thinking, many people won't watch news at night and hence, instead of late-night if they advertise in the day time then there would be more profit and hence they might have cancelled. The writer should provide more details on the advertising contracts.
Also, the local businesses might have cancelled their contracts because advertising on t.v they might have hard time and they might be finding it difficult to manage. Also, maybe the local business are doing well and they might not want to advertize. There are lot assumptions to be made in this memo and the writer should do a little more research on the local business and provide enough details.
The writer does not give details if there are other news stations and if there are then how well is this station doing compared to the other station. Maybe this station should concentrate more on the content of the information and attract more readers.The writer should provide complete information to make memo persuasive.
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Comments
Sentence: Also, maybe the
Sentence: Also, maybe the local business are doing well and they might not want to advertize.
Description: The fragment the local business is not usually followed by are
Suggestion: Possible agreement error: Replace are with is
Sentence: The reasons given are: local business cancelling advertisement contracts with the station and complaints recieved.
Error: recieved Suggestion: received
Error: cancelling Suggestion: No alternate word
Sentence: The author states that, the station recieved complaints about the coverage of local news and weather, but fails to incorporate the details of the complaints.
Error: recieved Suggestion: received
Sentence: Also, maybe the local business are doing well and they might not want to advertize.
Error: advertize Suggestion: advertise
flaws:
No. of Different Words: 148 200
Attribute Value Ideal
Score: 4.0 out of 6
Category: Satisfactory Excellent
No. of Grammatical Errors: 1 2
No. of Spelling Errors: 4 2
No. of Sentences: 18 15
No. of Words: 399 350
No. of Characters: 1980 1500
No. of Different Words: 148 200
Fourth Root of Number of Words: 4.469 4.7
Average Word Length: 4.962 4.6
Word Length SD: 2.519 2.4
No. of Words greater than 5 chars: 135 100
No. of Words greater than 6 chars: 103 80
No. of Words greater than 7 chars: 70 40
No. of Words greater than 8 chars: 46 20
Use of Passive Voice (%): 0 0
Avg. Sentence Length: 22.167 21.0
Sentence Length SD: 9.038 7.5
Use of Discourse Markers (%): 0.5 0.12
Sentence-Text Coherence: 0.377 0.35
Sentence-Para Coherence: 0.59 0.50
Sentence-Sentence Coherence: 0.147 0.07
Number of Paragraphs: 5 5
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