"Recently, there have been discussions about ending Grove College's century-old tradition of all-female education by admitting male students into our programs. At a recent faculty meeting, a majority of faculty members voted in favor of coeducation, arguing that it would encourage more students to apply to Grove. However, Grove students, both past and present, are against the idea of coeducation. Eighty percent of the students responding to a survey conducted by the student government wanted the school to remain all female, and over half of the alumnae who answered a separate survey also opposed coeducation. Therefore, we recommend maintaining Grove College's tradition of all-female education. We predict that keeping the college all-female will improve morale among students and convince alumnae to keep supporting the college financially."
Write a response in which you discuss what questions would need to be answered in order to decide whether the recommendation is likely to have the predicted result. Be sure to explain how the answers to these questions would help to evaluate the recommendation.
The argument is rife with holes and assumptions. The recommendation would be valid only if some assumptions on the financial conditions of the college etc are to be made.
The argument would be valid if the faculty members in the college in the men, they are biased that since male students are not there in the college.Moreover, they would be inferior to their female students if some part of student community are not men.
There is no particular data about how many students responded to that survey. It can be possible that only out of 1000 students, only half of them responded to that survey. In the people who responded to it, there can be eighty percent who considers that the college should change this century-old tradition of their college.
The argument doesn't provide valid data about which past and which present students are against the idea of coeducation. We need to consider about which past and which present students are against the idea of adopting this tradition. Moreover, students who have been graduated in the years 2000,2005 can be present students and students who have graduated in the years 2005, 2007 can be present students. And there is no proper evidence that a particular group reponded to that survey.
The questions in the survey conducted by the student government may be different than that conducted by the alumni of the college. So there would be not be any accurate data about the student's recommendation on adopting this new tradition.
Eighty percent of the students who responded the survey can be from other colleges. The college might have surveyed the students outside the college so as to increase their favor of not adopting male students.
It can be possible that the collge is financially ruined and may become bankrupt in the future. Consequently the college cannot run without the support of their students and alumni, they try to argue that they shouldnot adopt this new tradition.
Finally, if if all the above questions have been answered properly, then the recommendation would be valid.
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2013-08-20 | sunilsreeram | 41 | view |
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Comments
Does the lengths of the
Does the lengths of the paragraphs be considered while writing essays rather than the content of the paragraphs?
Yes, It is hard to support an
Yes, It is hard to support an idea in one paragraph with only one or two sentences.
Sentence: Finally, if if all the above questions have been answered properly, then the recommendation would be valid.
Description: The fragment if if contains a repeated word
Suggestion: Delete a possible duplicate word:
Sentence: And there is no proper evidence that a particular group reponded to that survey.
Error: reponded Suggestion: responded
Sentence: It can be possible that the collge is financially ruined and may become bankrupt in the future.
Error: collge Suggestion: college
flaws:
No. of Different Words: 143 200
Number of Paragraphs: 8 5
better to have 5 paragraphs:
para 1: introduction.
para 2: reason 1
para 3: reason 2
para 4: reason 3 (optional)
para 5: conclusion
Attribute Value Ideal
Score: ? out of 6
Category: Poor Excellent
No. of Grammatical Errors: 0 2
No. of Spelling Errors: 2 2
No. of Sentences: 17 15
No. of Words: 345 350
No. of Characters: 1670 1500
No. of Different Words: 143 200
Fourth Root of Number of Words: 4.31 4.7
Average Word Length: 4.841 4.6
Word Length SD: 2.579 2.4
No. of Words greater than 5 chars: 115 100
No. of Words greater than 6 chars: 95 80
No. of Words greater than 7 chars: 69 40
No. of Words greater than 8 chars: 34 20
Use of Passive Voice (%): 0 0
Avg. Sentence Length: 20.294 21.0
Sentence Length SD: 7.961 7.5
Use of Discourse Markers (%): 0.529 0.12
Sentence-Text Coherence: 0.359 0.35
Sentence-Para Coherence: 0.711 0.50
Sentence-Sentence Coherence: 0.14 0.07
Number of Paragraphs: 8 5