All people living in any society have intrests and like something more than another one. Clothing and dressing depends on the intrests a person has,. It is different from country to country and groups of people in a society and eventually it is different from individual person to another one.
The way people dress may have been affected by the society. As the author mentioned, some people, maybe the young ones more, follow the stars whom they like. People follow their favorit stars way of living including acting and behaving and the way they dress.
Stars are members of a society. A star movie have a job playing in movies, so he must try his best in playing as his job. The way he behave or dress in society depends on his properties. The same is for a sport star. We should expect him to be good in his field, but we can not expect him to dress the way we like.
In another point of view, even if it is a fact that stars whom behave as role models, by wich companyare they paid? Are they paid by companies responsible for modeling? Or the author just told about their salaries? Cause in this way they won’t have responsibility for how the dress until it is ilegall.
By all these views, stars are people whom have personalities and intrests. We shouldn’t expect them for example not to have a haircut which is unpleasant to us. The young people who follow their favorit stars appearance, are members of groups in society, for example they are high school or college students. We can expect these part of society to affect young people’s thought and intrest, so that they could find different ways for dressing.
- Writing Integerated - TPO 25 70
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Sentence: The way he behave or dress in society depends on his properties.
Description: The fragment he behave or is rare
Suggestion: Possible agreement error: Replace behave with verb, past tense
Sentence: All people living in any society have intrests and like something more than another one.
Error: intrests Suggestion: interests
Sentence: Clothing and dressing depends on the intrests a person has,. It is different from country to country and groups of people in a society and eventually it is different from individual person to another one.
Error: intrests Suggestion: interests
Sentence: Cause in this way they won't have responsibility for how the dress until it is ilegall.
Error: ilegall Suggestion: legal
Sentence: By all these views, stars are people whom have personalities and intrests.
Error: intrests Suggestion: interests
flaws:
No. of Different Words: 146 200
Avg. Sentence Length: 16.333 21.0
Attribute Value Ideal
Score: 3.5 out of 6
Category: Satisfactory Excellent
No. of Grammatical Errors: 1 2
No. of Spelling Errors: 4 2
No. of Sentences: 18 15
No. of Words: 294 350
No. of Characters: 1294 1500
No. of Different Words: 146 200
Fourth Root of Number of Words: 4.141 4.7
Average Word Length: 4.401 4.6
Word Length SD: 2.285 2.4
No. of Words greater than 5 chars: 86 100
No. of Words greater than 6 chars: 56 80
No. of Words greater than 7 chars: 28 40
No. of Words greater than 8 chars: 16 20
Use of Passive Voice (%): 0 0
Avg. Sentence Length: 16.333 21.0
Sentence Length SD: 7.242 7.5
Use of Discourse Markers (%): 0.389 0.12
Sentence-Text Coherence: 0.322 0.35
Sentence-Para Coherence: 0.554 0.50
Sentence-Sentence Coherence: 0.121 0.07
Number of Paragraphs: 5 5